Creepshow 2: Yeah!

Yes! YES!! I wish they would make more creepshow films, more anthologies. I love this kind of film- lots of bite (or Chomp in this case) size stories pieced together by an exterior character, plot, or situation. It’s like getting a 10p mix from your mum, and each sweet story has a scary taste all of its own. Some are soft and chewy, others are hard and crunchy, some are sour and you have to spit them down the sink, and occasionally you get a long lace. The best ones are when you get two stuck together so you get one for free! Even though it was your mum who paid for it. I like horrors and actions, films where lots of things happen. In these films the stories are so short they have to keep the plot small, the action fast, and everything is quick and exciting. If any of these stories were turned into a two hour film they wouldn’t have the same impact and I would probably fall asleep or cry. I think all films in the future should be made like this. No-one can be expected to stay awake for longer than 2 hours at a time- we all watch MTV, and even American Idol has adverts in it so that we can have a quick nap before the next instalment. Films like Lord Of The Rings go on FOREVER, I felt like I’d aged 84 years after watching the first one. If they’d done all the LOTR films as one 90 minute anthology like Creepshow, it could have been the best film ever: Story One. ‘There’s a bad ring, and a bad man wants it’ ‘I’m a good guy but it might make me evil, so I’ll give it to this wee chump, no-one will expect that. The wee chump and his friends can go to the volcano and throw the ring in’. The wee chump sets off with his friends, meets a fairy, tramp, beardo, and a midget along the way, one of them is eaten, another killed, and they all get separated. Part 2: A monster helps the wee chump to escape, but it really wants to steal the ring. Meanwhile the bad guy sends his armies across the land and the rest of the gang have to hide in a castle and save the children. Part 3: The monster leads the chump into a spider web and steals the ring. It turns out the tramp is actually The King and he rallies the rest of the gang to prepare for the worst. The chumps’ friend Brian wakes him up from Spider sleep, they beat up the monster and throw the ring into the volcano. The world is saved, the end. Awesome!

Creepshow 2 features 3 stories written by Stevie King (directed by Romeo) during his drunk period. He claims he doesn’t remember writing these, and to be honest, I don’t remember watching them. The first is about an Indian Zombie getting revenge on the descendants of the cowboys who stole his buffalo. He chases them round with a sword, eventually poking their eyes out. The second story features friends going white water rafting. They get chased by the Blob which eats them and pokes their eyes out with a canoe. The last story is about a demon driver who likes to pick up hitch hikers and gives them a terrifying journey. He also wants to poke their eyes out with his hand brake. Linking these stories is a little boy called Billy who likes reading comics. This is the same as the first film, and some of the same footage is used. Overall, an excellent film about horrors.

Best Scene: The shock ending of Billy falling on the edge of his comic which pokes his eyes out.

Creepy Magee