The Greatest TV Shows Of All Time (80 – 61)!

Greetings, Glancers! Today we run down the next batch of Rolling Stone’s 2016 list of the greatest TV shows of all time. Have I seen them? What do I think? What do YOU think? Click here for part 1.

80. The Fugitive

Never seen it. Seen the movie. I’m surprised the show ran for as long as it did, considering shows back then were episodic rather than arc-based.

79. In Living Color

I feel like I’ve seen parts of this, but I have no real memory of it. It’s a 90s sketch show, which is good, but it’s a US based sketch show which may not be so good. FOR ME.

78. Thirtysomethings

I don’t know what this is, but I can guess from the name.

77. The Walking Dead

Considering this list was published in 2016, I’m surprised The Walking Dead is so low on the list, but it was beginning to drop out of popularity around that time. I loved it, I still watch it now, but Fear The Walking Dead is now the superior show. It has definitely lost its way and lacks a decent set of characters we really care about any more, but still – zombies, blood, headshots.

76. Late Night With Conan O’Brien.

Sure.

75. American Crime Story – The People Vs OJ Simpson

Wasn’t this something already done in the 90s? I haven’t seen it, feels like something which would not be in the list if it were done again today.

74. The Ren And Stimpy Show

I’ll be pissed if this is here but Beavis & Butthead isn’t. Look, I watched it, I chuckled the odd time, but I never really enjoyed it – the animation style never sat well with me and it wasn’t really that funny.

73. Transparent

Never heard of it.

72. Girls

I’ve heard of it – never seemed like anything I would be interested in.

71. Mr Show.

I don’t think I’ve heard of this, but there’s a slight niggling deep in my brain meat saying ‘yeah, but you have heard of it because one of your mates in the 90s mentioned liking it one day’.

70. Roseanne

Naturally. One of the few US sitcoms of the era which actually translated well to both the UK and me personally. I watched this every week for a few years at least, before either giving up on it or it being moved to a different timeslot.

69. The Ed Sullivan Show

Of course. We’ve all seen the clips.

68. The State

This is a weird one because it sounds like something I should remember, and should have watched given it was peak ‘me watching MTV’ time, but I don’t have any memory of it.

67. The Odd Couple

I know the music better than I know the show. I’ve seen parts, I may have seen a complete episode, but can’t say I ever truly watched it.

66. Downton Abbey

If you read my Oscars posts, you know I’m not one for Costume Dramas. Or shows about aristocrats. This is both. My wife loved it. Her mum loves it. Other people’s mums love it. They don’t love Robocop. I love Robocop. Maggie Smith is made of birds.

65. Happy Days

This kind of translated in the UK, but more as a cultural statement than a thing people enjoyed. We know the music, the setting, the Fonz, the shark-jumping. I tried to enjoy it, and I think for a while I did, but unfortunately it started out for me as one of those Sunday morning shows which simply makes me think of horrible stuff like being forced to go to Sunday School/Church etc, and getting ready for actual school the next day.

64. Chapelle’s Show

Never seen it.

63. The Wonder Years

Now this one was popular over here, but again it was more of a cultural touchstone than something people actually enjoyed. I couldn’t get into it. It was too… soft? Not the humour I wanted as a kid, but it was never intended to be a full blown comedy. I think I’d enjoy it more now, but once again it was hindered by being a Sunday show.

62. Sex And The City

I watched this when it first made its way over here – I watched it for the boobs, of course, not for the incessant mewling of the hardcore fans and their ‘ARE YOU A CHARLOTTE OMG YOU’RE SUCH A CARRIE’. Too much focus on shoes and clothes which only grew in the terrible movies, but the show was funny and did make us care about the characters and their love lives, and New York was for a while a vibrant character all of its own, until it became watered down self aware muck.

61. Your Show Of Shows

I’ve never heard of this, but it sounds incredibly influential and interesting.

Over to you – what are your thoughts on these shows. Do you think they deserve a spot on this list? Am I too harsh on any, and which of the ones I haven’t seen would you recommend? Stay tuned for Part 3!

The Greatest TV Shows Of All Time (100 – 81)

Greetings, Glancers! It has been some time since I’ve made a cheap, click-bait list oriented post such as this, but I recently received a Spike in my viewership due to people discovering my Britain’s Top 50 Songs Of The 1980s post. That was a fun post to watch, and a more savvy blogger than I would know to capitalize on this momentum and try to push more similar content. I’m neither savvy, nor a blogger, nor anything really, but I do like reading lists, writing lists, and talking about them, so here we are.

It’s not music this time – as the title suggests I’m going to take a look at Rolling Stone’s Greatest TV Shows Of All Time thing from a few years ago, comment on each entry, and add my own feeble thoughts. If you’re into that, pull up a chaise-longue, recline like a Dandy, and cast a care-free or critical eye over my rantings. It should be stated that this particular list was published by Rolling Stone in 2016, and we’ve had a great many great shows since then. It’s a Top 100 in ascending (descending?) order so certain shows, great, cult, shite, and personal favourite are obviously going to be missed. Also, this isn’t just the work and opinion of one person – Rolling Stone did their due diligence and pulled results from a wide array of industry insiders and out peers and betters. It will likely be inherently US biased. Lets do this.

100. Eastbound And Down

I’ve heard of this, but never seen it and don’t know anything about it. Not a great start. Aparently it’s a Danny McBride thing. I like him. To a point.

99. Oz

I ‘have’ it, but have never watched it. Prison stuff rarely does anything for me as they follow a strict story formula with the same group of characters and situations. I’ve seen parts of it and plenty of my mates swore by it at the time. I’ll get to it eventually.

98. The Golden Girls

Yeeaaah, no. I’m sure I’d appreciate it more if I watched it now instead of when I was exposed to it as a child, but it holds zero draw for me.

97. Portlandia.

Never heard of it, don’t know what it is, seems like something which will immediately drop out of a list like this once something new comes along.

96. Gunsmoke.

One of the many, many Western oriented shows of the 1950s onwards. This shtick was a staple of US TV back then, I think I’ve seen bits of episodes here and there, but I wouldn’t know how to differentiate this from any of the other shows or suggest how it deserves a place on the list over any of the others? Was it the first? The best?

95. Key And Peele

I’ve heard of this one at least, never seen it. I know Jordan has gone on to big Hollywood business – Get Out and Us were both hit and miss for me, enjoyable but not as perfect as the wilsly positive feedback would have you suggest. I think this is a sketch comedy show, but also showed their love for horror. Humour can be hit and miss for me too, though usually sketch comedy works well.

94. Jeopardy.

Ahh, so they’re doing gameshows too? I love gameshows. Anything with questions, a novel idea, and even better some sort of physical action or hook to latch on to and make the thing more interactive or demanding. Jeopardy had a number of hooks – the whole answer backwards thing and losing your money thing. We have our own UK version of it – I don’t know how popular it was, but I watched it the odd time. It wasn’t the most exciting show – no hefty prizes or visual quirks or physical stuff. American versions of gameshows I know from other Countries almost never work for me – not sure why, something about the hosts and the comedy doesn’t seem to translate well.

93. Mystery Science Theater 3000. 

I’ve never seen it, but I know what it is and we had similar versions over here.

92. American Idol.

Oh, fuck off. There’s no doubting how hugely influential the show was (was this first or Pop Idol or X Factor? They’re all the same) and how many millions have watched it. I’ve been forced to watch it. It’s an easy format to get into, but as someone who actually cares about music at as deep a level as I possibly can – I listen, I write and talk about music, I think about music every day, I have written, recorded, performed my own (even if too an extremely limited degree). Music is and always has been a huge part of my life. The majority of the music and the opinions of this show and its ilk, are bad. It’s mass produced, image-oriented, business man music. That’s perfectly fine for some and it makes the world go round. Hell, I even enjoy some of it. But it’s not the music I go for. It ignores the talents of the creator (s) and reduces it to the single person on stage, or even worse to the people judging the person, who are often not the greatest judges of musical quality. It’s so reductive, there’s such an aura of disposability around it and the people it churns out, and at its core it is not a show about talent – it’s a show about abuse and exploitation.

91. Broad City

Never heard of it, or if I have I don’t remember.

90. The Dick Van Dyke Show.

I’ve never been a fan of Mr Van Dyke. I can’t say I’ve seen this show, but I’m sure it entertained the boomers, or something.

89. Homeland

I’ve seen the whole thing. It’s an engaging show – I love Claire Danes and the supporting cast the show built is very strong. There were a few plot mis-steps along the way. While most people were interested in the whole love triangle and mystery of the opening seasons, I got more hooked on the mid- show Pakistan terrorism ark. It lost its way, certain stories were dragged out too long, things I was more keen on were dismissed or wrapped up too quickly, and many ideas were recycled to the point of nonsense. But it continued to hold its own and was always entertaining even when it became increasingly silly.

88. Party Down

Never heard of it.

87. Doctor Who

If this were a British list I would suspect the show would be much higher. Doctor Who has always gone through peaks of popularity – after the boom of shows like Buffy, Doctor Who was given a sexy modern revamp and saw the show soar outside of the UK. I’ve never really watched it. I watched as a kid in the 80s and was scared like everyone else, but outside of McCoy and the odd episode here and there from other eras, it’s not something I’ve ever felt the desire to watch.

86. Good Times

I don’t think I’ve heard of this one, but there were so many 70s-80s sitcoms that they get a little mixed up in my mind. This is probably the era of American sitcoms I have the most nostalgia for, and I usually enjoy them, but the 90s era was the peak for my own personal enjoyment.

85. The Real World

The really Daddy of Reality TV has a lot to answer for. I never cared for any reality TV because I find reality and other people, and myself, mostly incredibly dull, self-centred, and I don’t want to spend any time with them. I prefer fiction. Nevertheless, I caught the odd episode of this when it was first popular, because the older teens were all watching it and I would get roped in to pretending to like it too.

84. Real Time With Bill Maher

This is some sort of talk show, right? We have plenty of those over here. When I was young, it was boring, shouty old men talking about news. When I was older, I had a tonne of actually interesting shows to discover and catch up on. Now, these shows are just another version of reality TV when I do as much as I can to ignore reality seen through the lens of others. I’ve seen bits of Bill, no idea if its from this show or anything else.

83. House Of Cards

Not a fan of Politics or Political shows, or US Politics (The West Wing is the single exception), and I’ve never been a fan of Kevin Spacey, even back before people realised what a fucking scumbag he is. I’m sure this is well made and all, but I have zero interest in it. Was Neve Campbell in it for a while?

82. The Jeffersons.

It’s another one of those 70s-80s US Sitcoms I never saw. I’m at least aware of this one, but frequently, inexplicably, mix it up with The Jetsons.

81. Dallas

I was too young to watch it or care at its peak, but I did catch episodes here and there when my mum watched it in the 80s. She was more of a Knott’s Landing fan though. There’s no doubting its success and cultural impact so of course its going to be on this list.

Join me again soon for Part 1, but for now are there any shows above you think I should give a chance? Which ones do you enjoy, and which ones do you think should be nowhere near such a list as this?

Nightman Reacts To The Greatest Artists Of All Time (According To Rolling Stone)! Top 20

Part Four of my reaction to Rolling Stone’s Greatest 100 Musical Acts Of All Time. Click here for part one, part two, and part third. Otherwise….

20. Bo Diddly

Aside from having a hilarious name, Diddly remains one of the great Blues voices and guitarists. Another man whose influence on others outshone his own work, his own work is still out there to discover – and it’s great.

19. Velvet Underground

I’m middling on The Velvet Underground. Influential, all sorts of fucked up, poetic and mischievous, their name has too long been synonymous with a certain culture rather than the music. That’s when you knew you’ve succeeded as an artist but failed as a musician. That’s what society has forced upon the group, not something the group necessarily did themselves, though they certainly set the groundwork. Their music isn’t the sort of thing I listen to often, and in truth I find their songs more enjoyable when covered by others.  Still, they did their thing and did it better than most.

18. Marvin Gaye

Great voice, could write a tune, could deliver a message which was more than simply promoting dancing or fucking. Yet those same songs invariably made you want to dance, fuck, and maybe change the world. I’m not the biggest fan as I do find much of his stuff quite samey, but when he’s good, he’s good.

17. Muddy Waters

Muddy, BB, Bo, all these guys played the same sort of music with their own unique spin, and each one would influence the entirety of Sixties and Seventies rock. Muddy was maybe the first, and the things he did with his voice, guitar, and presence, and the songs he wrote or played would be torn apart, abused, and reconfigured by the likes of Led Zep, The Stones, Hendrix, and anybody else who picked up a guitar in those decades.

16. Sam Cooke

You see a lot of crossover with R’n’B, soul, Gospel, in these rock lists. Sometimes it’s not entirely accurate, sometimes it’s like the publication is trying to lump these other genres in with rock to make them more appealing to people who don’t listen to rock. Listening to Sam Cooke, the musical comparisons to rock aren’t obvious. He was always more of a pop vocalist, too smooth and calming and not raw enough. to truly fall into the rock category. But then, many rock singers don’t have a growl or yell or roughness, but the attitude or the writing. Cooke had sex appeal and some decent tunes, but rock?

15. Stevie Wonder

Stevie Wonder I’ll give you – a voice of unyielding soul, the energy of his most funk-driven numbers is enough to carry him into rock spheres. Of course he has worked with some of Rock’s finest and has written plenty a rockin’ song himself. He’s going to pop up more on my other series as most of the songs I know by him are the big hitting singles.

14. Led Zeppelin

Maybe the prime example of what a rock band could or should be. Maybe the prime example of taking what had come before and transforming into something else, or taking it to the next level. The Stones, for me, always kept things simple – they took an old school Blues song and played it straight, maybe with a little more venom. Zep would take an old school Blues song, turn it inside out, chew it, swallow it, and vomit it back up along with whatever else they had been absorbing at the time. They were the perfect four piece – one of the great vocalists of all time, maybe the greatest guitarist, probably the best drummer, and easily one of the most talented multi-musicians ever. They good write some of the sexiest, heaviest music on the planet, they could be as soft as a fawning hippy, and they had all of the best stories and legends swirling around them. You’re not a music fan if you don’t get the Led out.

13. Buddy Holly

One of the first white boys of rock, merging his Country and Gospel upbringing with  R’n’B sounds, he cemented rock’s beginnings. With a sizable number of songs and hits before he died at the ridiculously young age of 22, it’s not clear what he could have gone on to achieve or create. It’s true that he was only getting started before he was stopped.

12. The Beach Boys

Well of course. From glossy Beach pop/rock to the more experimental stuff I haven’t heard yet, they have enough hits to make any such list.

11. Bob Marley

I’m not a huge fan of Reggae. I always assumed I would be, and Marley was one of those icons that younger me looked forward to being able to hear when I was young. I find his music, and the whole genre’s very samey. Some stand-out songs. When your the only guy famous for the genre, of course you get a spot on the list.

10. Ray Charles

The other blind dude with a piano.

9. Aretha Franklin

Beast mode vocals activated. You’d be hard pressed to find a more powerful voice anywhere, one capable of stopping you in your tracks thanks to its authority and sensuality. She wrote the odd songs too, and her biggest hits are timeless.

8. Little Richard

I always say ‘Fuck Elvis’ when I hear people saying he did everything first. Little Richard did it better, faster, and sexier than Elvis before there was an Elvis. I don’t know much about the guy but his songs are just ballistic. Reading this self-penned piece is pretty depressing, how he never made any money from his music. The guy did it all, and while I’m sure he has plenty to show for it, it’s true that everyone who came after him took his work and his spotlight, even if they did take his groundwork and build upon it.

7. James Brown

The sweaty sex machine himself. Brown is that rare example of taking Gospel music and heritage and making something good out of it, of making R’n’B music which genuinely rocks. A sublime and tireless performer with vocals to match. I know his biggest and best and each one of those makes you want to jump around just as much as any metal song you can name.

6. Jimi Hendrix

Everyone’s favourite guitarist, he did things no-one else had or could. A showman and a player and a writer, the Hendrix songs sometimes work for me, other times they don’t. Maybe it’s the vocals which keep me from being a full blown fan or maybe it’s that many of the songs have a similar melodic style. The songs aren’t samey, but they can feel that way. I take the handle of songs I love and ignore the rest.

5. Chuck Berry

There’s a line zig-zagging through the 1950s which touches upon a number of artists who had a small number of hits and then circles around the big names – that line probably circles around Chuck Berry several times before shooting off in a thousand directions. There isn’t a single recording person in rock today that the line doesn’t connect to from Chuck. Tracing that line back, those early hits – and quite a few later ones -still rock, that youthful expression crossing every generational gap.

4. The Rolling Stones

As you’ll have seen if you read my other posts – I listened to a bunch of Stones Albums many years ago and dismissed them. I’m listening to them all again now to see if i feel any differently. It’s up in the air, but it looks like they’re more of a ‘I like 1-2 songs from each album band’ for me, though obviously millions of people have adored them and been influenced by them through time.

3. Elvis Presley

I have difficulty really loving someone if they don’t write their own material. They need something special if they don’t – a unique voice or talent elsewhere. Elvis had a unique voice and presence and stardom and aura around him. He could play, he could sing, but out of the massive number of songs he recorded, I only enjoy a relatively small number. Still, it’s Elvis.

2. Bob Dylan

Although I’ve probably heard more, I only feel like I’ve heard less than 10 Bob Dylan originals – his original versions of his own songs. He’s another artist I’ve known my whole life, but more due to other bands and singers covering his stuff. At some point I’m going to have to go through his albums one by one, but I already know I don’t like his vocals – what I’ve heard of them. The nasal quality and the delivery. I do love lyrics though, and almost everyone would rate Dylan as one of the best lyricists in the game. I’m not surprised he’s here – it’s the same with every list, but I don’t know enough to give my personal judgement.

1. The Beatles

The obvious number one. They did it all, they reinvented themselves and reshaped the musical world numerous times, and left behind maybe the largest body of great songs than any other band has. Never trust anyone who doesn’t like The Beatles or at the very least acknowledge their importance.

Let me know what you think of this Top Twenty, of Rolling Stone’s list as a whole, and of the bands and artists, involved!

 

Nightman Reacts To The Greatest Artists Of All Time (According To Rolling Stone)! 40-21

Part Two of my reaction to Rolling Stone’s Greatest 100 Musical Acts Of All Time. Click here for part one and part two Otherwise….

40. Simon And Garfunkel

As mentioned in post one, I haven’t discussed the ordering of this thing at all. I’ve no idea what their ordering criteria is but at the moment it doesn’t seem like there is one at all. Until we get to the top five of course and see Elvis, The Stones, and The Beatles. I always assumed I would like Simon And Garfunkel. Then I listened and posted about one album – the first of theirs I’d heard – and it wasn’t great. I’ve since listened to another album which was better. The jury’s still out on how I feel about them, but I know most people are fans.

39. David Bowie

Speaking of the Jury still being out… I understand and appreciate how much Bowie brought to music and how many artists he inspired and how he did his own thing for decades. I’m annoyed I don’t like him more – the glam stuff does nothing but irritate me and I’m generally not moved by his vocals. There are plenty of songs I love and plenty I like, but maybe the time for me to truly love him has passed.

38. John Lennon

His work with The Beatles would be enough to top any list. Then he did ten years of solo work, most of which I haven’t heard. It’s probably not as good as The Beatles, but probably not far behind.

37. Roy Orbison

When I was young I took one look at Orbison and said ‘naw’. But then you hear him sing, and you hear him play, and you get it. He wasn’t some knock off Elvis, he was his own thing and I much prefer his voice to The King’s. His songs have lasted too.

36. Madonna

Bitch, she’s Madonna. Mad as a bottle of snakes and might just pour them over you, but show me another artist who’s had her longevity and success and hits. You can’t. You can tear apart her vocals or her politics or certain creative or musical choices, but when you look at the best hits of her vast body of work, you can’t help but be in awe.

35. Michael Jackson

Probably the greatest voice in all of music, probably the greatest entertainer of all time. In the beginning it was all about his voice and style – how cute he looked, how he danced, how he sang. Then he branched out from his brothers and more success. Then he branched out on his own and became the biggest thing in the world. All through that time he was writing his own stuff and honing his perfectionist style. There has never been anyone like Michael, and there likely never will be again.

34. Neil Young

I’m still waiting for that thing to make me like Neil Young music. It must be there.

33. Everly Brothers

Fair enough.

32. Smokey Robinson And The Miracles

Smokey is such an underrated writer, but with The Miracles he was able to get his best work across. I still find it amazing that Smokey was around before Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, and The Beatles, and he’s still going.

31. Johnny Cash

Everybody loves Johnny Cash. Me? Not so much. It’s another example of appreciation rather than enjoying the music. It may be dark, on occasion, but it’s still Country. And Gospel too, which is worse. A unique figure though.

30. Nirvana

Everything I wanted and needed in a band when I was young; everything the music industry needs now. Nirvana wasn’t just grunge, rock, metal, punk, pop, whatever – it was a rare concoction of fury, intelligence, wit, integrity – you listen to any interview with them at the time, you watch any performance – no matter how fucked up they were they played with more intensity and feeling and passion than anyone else. I don’t care if you were Metallica or The Beatles or Yngwie Malmsteen or Pavarotti, Nirvana were going to blow you off the stage and make you look like amateurs. Then they’d destroy the stage and fuck off. A complete nobody came from nothing and changed the lives of millions. There have been few greater losses to the musical world than when Kurt ended his life.

29. The Who

On stage in their prime there was nobody like The Who. Complete maniacs. Off stage too. Luckily they had the chops and prowess to pull it off. They had the balls to make shit like Tommy and Quadrophenia, grand sweeping stories which had great songs in the mix. And they would throw out amazing anthems like My Generation and Baba O’Reilly too.

28. The Clash

One of the first punk bands I got into, but my relationship with punk has almost always been surface – I’ll dip in and out when I need quick blast on how powerful music can be. It’s not just about the notes, it’s about the raw passion, the need to express yourself, or tell a story, or connect with an audience. The Clash could connect while also writing simple, catchy songs. They went and experimented with a tonne of other styles – most of which was not to my taste – but all the while they remained true to their vision of self.

27. Prince

I get he’s a good writer and a multi-talented musician. The music does little to nothing for me. I don’t find it sexy, it doesn’t make me want to dance, it doesn’t inspire me to listen or create or procreate. Hands up once more – I still haven’t heard much from him outside of some of his hits. He apparently has a million songs. Some of them are bound to pop up in my other series.

26. The Ramones

I’ve always found The Ramones to be on the silly side of punk. That’s not to say they’re not authentic, just that it’s hard to take a lot of their stuff seriously. They still play with fury but more often than not it’s the fury of a kitten trying to attack my hand – charming, fun, entertaining to be part of, but ultimately harmless.

25. Fats Domino

I mean, it’s Fats Domino. He was good, influential, but there’s a cultural and historic divide which will likely never be bridged to make me truly align with most of his stuff. I’ll listen, but I won’t think about it much.

24. Jerry Lee Lewis 

I’ll take him over Elton any day.

23. Bruce Springsteen

The nicest man in rock, or maybe the most genuine (assuming Dave Grohl went out for a walk). Again outside of the Born In The USA album and a few songs, I’m not too knowledgeable about his actual songs but there are so many singers who have come after him who try to mimic or embody his spirit – the voice, the style, the workmanship, and the message.

22. U2

Chris Martin in the article, opening his mouth and embarrassing himself as always, says some of the most stupid things. I get he’s trying to compliment the band, but when he says U2 is the only band whose entire back catalogue he knows by heart, what I take from that is that Chris Martin is not a music fan and should be kept far away from any recording studio. God, he then goes on to say ‘they may be the only good anthemic rock band ever’. Why is Chris Martin a thing? Can anyone explain it? Does he realise by simply existing in the same time and space as U2, he’s making them look worse? He then closes his love-fest with a sermon, of course, where he unironically states (when mentioning musician’s abilities to discuss a wider political or cultural issue) ‘every time I try, I feel like an idiot’ Yeah, mate, that’s because you are. I like U2 – some of their songs. I’m not some superfan. Bono’s a bit of a twat and they stopped making decent music about fifty years ago, but for a while they were good. Coldplay though – I liked that ‘beautiful world’ song, for five minutes before self-exorcising.

21. Otis Redding

Another great story with a tragic ending. Redding had his hits and his fame and likely would have had more. It wasn’t to be, yet most of his stuff feels as good today as I imagine it did in the 60s.

Next time, we complete our rundown with the Top 20! Let us know in the comments how you feel about any of the artists above and their position within the list!

Nightman Reacts To The Greatest Artists Of All Time (According To Rolling Stone)! 70-41

Part Two of my reaction to Rolling Stone’s Greatest 100 Musical Acts Of All Time. Click here for part one. Otherwise….

70. The Police

This entry is quite amusing – written by Brandon Flowers of ‘that shitty band’ fame, hardly the most ringing endorsement, and written without a trace of irony, try to say The Police was a deceptively clever band because they wrote songs which sounded like they were about one thing, but were actually about something else. Yes, that’s a great trick when you can pull it off. Unfortunately, what sort of moron misinterprets Every Breath You Take or Roxanne? They’re as blatantly obvious as Flowers is oblivious. In any case, Roxanne is awful, Every Breath You Take is superb, and most of the rest of the songs I’ve heard fall on a sliding scale starting from ‘meh’ and ending up at ‘aborted baboon feces’.

69. Jackie Wilson

A sorry tale of talent gone to ruin and vultures picking over the scraps, Wilson was undoubtedly a great performer. His voice was ludicrous, reaching peaks his contemporaries couldn’t dream of while being smooth when required.

68. The Temptations

Everything you could want in a male vocal group, the voices, the poise, the presence, and the songs to go with them.

67. Cream

I don’t give them the credit they deserve, mostly because I feel their individual songs aren’t great often enough, but there’s no doubting their influence. They played with immense technical skill, and they played loud while retaining melody.

66. Al Green

Yeah, don’t know much about him, only know a couple of songs.

65. The Kinks

One of the finest English rock bands, it’s a shame they came out at the same time as The Beatles, The Stones, The Who. They were fantastic, challenging, they wanted to challenge themselves, and Davies remains one of the all time great songwriters.

64. Phil Spector

It seems a little cheeky including him on the list given that he’s a Producer. His influence over the music he was producing undoubtedly turned the songs into something better. Famed for his Wall Of Sound, he’s easily one of the greatest Producers of all time, but he doesn’t need to be on this list.

63. Tina Turner

The singer every mother in law seems to love, Turner had her own brand of ferocity when she performed and that carried her beyond Ike to a vast number of personal hits. With one of the more unique voices in female pop, Turner makes music anyone can enjoy.

62. Joni Mitchell

You probably know my feelings about Joni – she’s one of the greats. One of the great true artists in music, constantly doing something different and doing it differently, a wonderfully talented musician, songwriter, lyricist, vocalist – she has it all, and does it all with grace and wisdom. I of course prefer her folk to her jazz, but it’s all worthwhile. In the pantheon of great female artists – she’s at the top.

61. Metallica

The band that brought Metal to the mainstream, the band that changed the metal game forever. Love or hate them, take a listen once more to any of their first four albums and try not to be blown away by the creativity, ambition, skill, and energy. Then slap on The Black album and see how they could channel all of that into something which the masses could swallow. They’re more of a touring band now – I wish they didn’t have such huge gaps between albums as that usually means artists are resting on their laurels or don’t have much to say. Each time they come back though (beyond a few hiccups in the late 90s) it’s something approaching heartwarming for every metal fan. They still have a knack for making the outsider feel like part of something, and make you want to smash the place up and release all of that pent up anger and excitement.

60. The Sex Pistols

Of course. The be all and end all when it comes to Punk, they ignited a movement. I’m not talking about their politics or punk as a whole, I’m talking about inspiring kids to get up and fucking do something. Start a band, start a riot, pick up an instrument and go conquer the world. Their few songs were pretty alright too.

59. Aerosmith

Taking the Blues rock back from the Brits, Aerosmith saw the fame of Zeppelin and The Stones and decided they could have a slice of that pie, while glamming it up and making it all American. With Tyler they had a voice to rival any wailing English man, and with Perry a guitarist who brought some of the first doses of sleaze to rock. They are one of the few bands to have successive, successful returns – sounding different each time, yet the same. They were sleazy blues in the Seventies, everybody’s mates in 80s, serious hit makers in the 90s, and have kept on plugging into the new millennium. They’re the biggest selling American rock band of all time – keep that in mind.

58. Parliament and Funkadelic

I need to give them a chance. Anything I’ve heard I usually dismiss as either silly or not to my taste.

57. The Grateful Dead

More of the same – never been a fan, haven’t heard enough, need to give them a chance

56. Dr Dre

Well, duh. Dre is a great producer and has discovered some of the best and many of the worst RnB artists out there. But his work as a rapper remains some of the best, most seminal in the game with both his solo stuff and work with NWA influencing essentially everything which came afterwards. Almost nothing has come close to topping it.

55. Eric Clapton

We all know he’s a great guitarist. Bit of an asshole, but he can play. Like most great guitarists, their ideas rarely translate into good solo songs and they tend to work best when they can influence or be influenced by a like-minded group. In essence he was a beast and did some great stuff, then he calmed down and didn’t.

54. Howlin’ Wolf

Every so often an artist will have a name which tells you all you need to know – Megadeth… umm… Ed Sheeran? Howlin’ Wolf is exactly that – bloodthirsty, exotic, eccentric, and ear-piercing. One of the true greats of the early rock era.

53. The Allman Brothers

Wouldn’t you know, it’s more Southern Rock. And wouldn’t you know, I don’t know a hell of a lot about it.

52. Queen

Probably the rock band with the most widespread popularity outside of The Beatles. Everyone loves Queen it seems, from middle aged women usually terrified of guitars to snobs, hipsters, chavs, metal-heads, critics, musicians. Maybe it’s that they just have so many hits or that so many of those hits have an anthemic quality. Maybe it’s that their songs have so far transcended time and still sound fresh now. I’ve never considered myself a huge Queen fan, beyond mostly liking all of the singles that I’ve heard. I’ve only listened to one full album, and enjoyed it, so I guess I am a Queen fan.

51. Pink Floyd

Pink Floyd cover so many genres, yet always retain that something special which makes them them. They have covered prog, punk, psychedelic, dance, mellow, and have made some of the best concept albums ever. That four album run which covers Dark Side Of The Moon, Wish You Were Here, Animals, and The Wall, may be the best run in musical history. Each on is unique, each one flawless. Before that run the had the experimental insanity of Syd and the patchwork miscellany his shadow uncovered, and afterwards the politics of Roger and soothing six string of Gilmour to keep them going. That four album run though, with Mason and Wright keeping the music both tight and flexible, is rock perfection.

50. The Band

Can’t say I know much about them.

49. Elton John

I’ve never been a fan, but then piano led rock comes off as cheesy to me and almost never makes me feel anything but the need to turn it off. I love the piano as an instrument, but so few artists use it to my tastes. Obviously he’s a superstar and I’m in the minority. I don’t mind the writing, I like a couple of songs, and I haven’t heard any complete albums, but his vocals and presence and songs in general aren’t my bag.

48. Run DMC

The original pioneers of rap, pretty much any of the Run DMC songs I’ve heard I’ve liked. But that’s a very small number, so I’ll have to change that.

47. Patti Smith

Those friends I mentioned earlier whose musical tastes are similar to mine? Some swear by Patti Smith. I’ve only heard a handful of songs so she is another artist I need to explore.

46. Janis Joplin

Jeebus, that voice. Have you ever heard or felt anything like it when Janis lets rip? I’ve no idea what she could have gone on to become – it was always a shame to me that the actual songs she performed weren’t overly interesting to me. She had the voice and the expression and the performance – just needed the songs to pull it together.

45. The Byrds

Another band whose singles I know, and that’s about it. I know they’ll be coming up plenty in my other long-running series, so I’ll get to them.

44. Public Enemy

Yeeeah Boyee! For my money, Chuck D is the greatest rapper of them all. The combination of his smooth yet aggressive vocals, his sharp observations stabbed into some of the best lyrics of the last thirty years, and his inviting, eloquent delivery is everything which is missing from the rap I hear these days (not that I’m paying much attention). Throw in the madcap exhalations and ramblings by Flavor Flav and their ability to take metal riffs, disjointed samples and effects from reports, movies, past hits, and you have a group capable of establishing a meaningful uprising and cross musical borders.

43. Sly And The Family Stone

Again, a blank spot in my musical knowledge outside of a few obvious songs.

42. Van Morrison

A fellow Northern Irish man, that’s enough reason to dislike him. I’m not sure at the point of writing this whether or not I’ll have posted something else I’ve also written about Van. In summary – sometimes I like his voice, other times I hate it – he comes across as a complete knob, and I know little outside of his big hits.

41. The Doors

They’re the band all disenfranchised kids and teens get into at some point, or should do. I go back and forth on The Doors – Morrison as a frontman – there’s fewer more charismatic, he brought a lot of intelligence and poetry to lyrics although many of them are hit and miss. The keyboard also comes across in that hit or miss way – sometimes it’s perfect, other times it’s cheesy as fuck and sounds like a bad pub band. The playing is always great though and I love many of their songs. Krieger had some great licks.

Check back soon for Part Three!

Nightman Reacts To The Greatest Artists (in music) Of All Time (According To Rolling Stone)! 100 -71

Greetings, Glancers! In my quest for always looking to post at least one listicle every couple of weeks, I’m having to take the coward’s way out and look at what other more reputable publications are posting. Now this one is a pretty obvious idea so I wouldn’t class it as stealing – everyone has their own list of favourite artists and opinions on these things. Still, it’s a regressive, lazy, click-bait type of post so you’ll have to bear with me until I can come up with something better.

There are a lot of these lists out there – every music rag and site will have their own take on it and I’m still toying with the idea of reacting to a few of them. However, I imagine most of them will be very similar and have a large crossover of artists. I went for Rolling Stone because they at least have a certain calibre of Writer, a certain respectability, and a level of talent and history which many more recent publications lack. The magazine has been going since the 60s and at least cares about music and talent rather than image and sales. Here is the link to their original article if you want to absorb it yourself and form your own opinion. What I have done is simply read the article and give some brief thoughts on each artist. I’m not going to get too hung up on placement.

Rather than let their Journalists give their thoughts on the best artists – likely factoring in influence, sales, quality, personal opinion, talent, originality, writing, technical proficiency etc, their list was based off actual industry insiders – the artists themselves, producers, writers, singers, musicians from a wide array of genres and eras. Without looking at the list then, I imagine there will be a few surprises and acts I’m not familiar with. Due to that fact alone, I’ll probably look at one more list, by a different site, for another post for comparison’s sake and because I want a more traditional list too. Also, this list apparently focuses on ‘The Rock Era’ so I don’t know if that means artists before a certain date wont be used or if certain genres are out of bounds. I’m more interested in a list which covers any genre and era, so that I can rant more.

Remember, the below selections are not mine, but I am going to give my thoughts on each. Here we go.

100: Talking Heads

I’m not going to doubt their influence, I’d have some doubts concerning their musical talent, I’m not going to question their lyrical prowess or ability to write songs which people seem to enjoy. I don’t like them – from what I’ve heard, which isn’t much – and I don’t like David Byrne’s vocals. Personal opinion, they’re not for me.

99. Carl Perkins

I only know the songs which other artists have recorded that he wrote – Elvis and The Beatles most notably. I’ve probably heard his original versions of those songs but I can’t say much more than that. Seems like an influential guy.

98. Curtis Mayfield

Much of what I referenced regarding Perkins could be said here too, although I know Mayfield through his famous work on Superfly. Remember when African American artists used to write and play with soul, and were some of the best musicians around? The white guys took all of that over in the late 50s – it’s time to share it around again I think.

97. REM

I’m surprised they’re so far down on the list, given the usual adoration and ball-fondling they receive. Maybe people are finally forgetting about them and realizing that the majority of their stuff doesn’t have staying power. Outside of Automatic For The People, there are very few REM songs I personally enjoy, mostly down to how I feel about Michael Stipe’s voice. That and the fact that I’m fairly certain a light breeze could strip them to their bones and shatter their skeletons. Still, they do have a number of pretty good songs which I can’t argue against, and every so often they’ll concoct an interesting lyric.

96. Diana Ross And The Supremes

I’m glad this is a single entry – Ross has the odd solo song which I don’t mind, but with The Supremes they were unbeatable. Classy and with the right group of writers backing them, they had hit after hit and I’m sure they broke down some racial barriers which is always good. Lets keep it focused on the music though – they have a strong of nothing less than masterpiece pop hits. Ross has some good vocals, but it’s the song selection and the quality of melody and harmony which keeps them so revered today, as well as some top session musicians backing them up. I wouldn’t call them influential any longer, because today’s female pop groups and artists seem to have forgotten that melody matters.

95. Lynyrd Skynyrd

That band that you have to keep spell-checking to make sure the Ys are in the ryte places. I don’t know much about them – I’m not big on the Southern US rock scene. Still, there’s no denying the skill on display and staying power of Sweet Home Alabama and Freebird. I’m sure they have other songs too.

94. Nine Inch Nails

No doubt influential in the metal and rock arena, Nine Inch Nails, or more acurately Trent Reznor, is generally held up as one of the genre’s best lyricists. Cutting and introspective and dark, the industrial experimental sound fits the words like a worm in your soul. I think he’s a better writer than a vocalist, though he certainly has a way with creating atmosphere. I always feel like I never give NIN a chance and I always mean to, but then I remember the  songs I don’t like – most of the obvious songs like Closer and Hurt are ones I don’t enjoy – then I abandon the idea.

93. Booker T And The MGs

Yeah, no doubting their influence or songwriting or playing. Just not a group I pay much attention to.

92. Guns N Roses

Now we’re talking. Hair metal was an extension of the more glamourous, self confident rock which came out of the 70s, but had too much focus on ego and image and sales and all too quickly allowed itself to transform from something about technical proficiency into something mass marketed and pussified. G’n’R was the antithesis of hair metal, the up-turning of that umbrella. They took the skill and swagger of what the genre should have been and added a raw 70s punk edge and effortless cool – these guys looked and performed like Hell’s demons were on their heels while the other hair metal bands suddenly looked like Belinda Carlisle. The band looked and felt like a gang, like a family, and their playing wasn’t overblown (at least in the beginning) yet remained vicious, rebellious, fast, and sexy – they played how animal fucking sounds and feels. Axl is an underrated songwriter, and Duff and Izzy don’t get the credit Slash gets.

91. Tom Petty

Another artist I don’t know much about – I know more about him than his music would be more accurate. What I’ve heard… I’m not a fan of the drawling vocals or Southern Sound, but I’ve heard single figure % of his work so I’m not the best example of someone accurately commenting.

90. Carlos Santana

I always found Santana suddenly finding widespread fame (again) in the 2000s quite bizarre. Here was a guy renowned in the 60s as a hippy free spirit and for playing loose, jazz infused Latino experimental rock. It was a commercial stroke of genius to link him up with some of the pop darlings of the day, and Supernatural remains a fantastic album. But you have to go back to his earlier days to find some of his truly killer playing. Carlos is a beast on the guitar with a style and tone you know is instantly his – for people who don’t really know much about guitar playing or guitarists, he is one of a very small handful of guitarists that the uninformed hear and recognise. From lightening fast breaks to soulful slow-dances, his music is perfect for a Summer afternoon beerathon, for howling at the moon afterwards, and for the come-down the next day, plus he’s a genuine, cool guy.

89. The Yardbirds

I always say that The Yardbirds existed so that later, better bands could. That’s a little unfair even if it is true, but in their short existence they set up the new rules for those later bands to follow – what can you do when you truly master an instrument? What sounds and songs will follow from feeling, what can you achieve when you don’t focus on writing a hit or looking a certain way or sounding like anyone else?

88. Jay-Z

Sorry, kids, but I’m going to go on record and admit that I can’t name a single Jay-Z song. I’m sure I’ve heard plenty, but I don’t know them. I’m going to assume that of all the rap and R’n’B to come out of the late 90s he’s among the most respectable – I have friends who know their stuff and whose musical opinions often fall in line with mine who love him – that’s usually good enough for me to give someone a chance. I haven’t yet, and probably won’t. There’s just too much stuff ahead of him on the list.

87. Gram Parsons

I don’t like Country. You know this by now. Parsons at least fused Country with other stuff – but then it was the 60s and everyone was fusing everything with everything else while at the same time being out of their fucking minds on whatever mind-altering goodness they could get their hands on. Was it the music that was good, or the drugs? In any case, I mostly know him from a few songs by The Byrds. I’m sure he could have achieved more if he’s lived longer.

86. Tupac

Similar to Jay-Z, except that I actually know some Tupac stuff. What I know I generally like but again I probably know more about the man and the myth than what he actually created and left behind. It seems like a lot of people on this list influence others, but the influence becomes reductive. Usually an artist is supposed to inspire others to be and do better, but in this case those were born out of Tupac’s success and skill have turned into everything which is shitty about music today – pre-packaged, mass produced, safe, repetitive garbage with no great message or meaning. Tupac is rolling in his grave over what you have become.

85. Black Sabbath

They essentially created metal. There were bands before and around the same time, but Sabbath brought all the vital ingredients together first. How you feel about metal will determine how you feel about Sabbath – do you like loud, heavy music? Do you enjoy frenetic rhythm sections, wailing vocals, solos like a volcano erupting and riffs like a shotgun cocking and firing? If not, you probably won’t like Sabbath – that’s fine, go listen to George Michael – but if you do, then you’ll love Sabbath. I’ve mentioned before that I’m more of a Sabbath individual songs listener, but they have enough individual songs regardless of their influence to make them a great band.

84. James Taylor

Fantastic voice and some gorgeous melodies. A nifty guitarist too. I think most metal fans have some sort of affinity with folk music, or at least the more introspective side of folk. Maybe it’s that both genres place so much value on emotion and musical ability. Taylor was at the forefront of folk, but he’s still someone whose music I haven’t heard very much of considering how prolific he has been.

83. Eminem

It seems more and more likely that Eminem is the musical genius of my generation. How many other artists have been as prolific and as critically and commercially successful as he has within the time when he started to today? The guy’s lyrics are flawless – insightful and brutal with the same couplet, hilarious the next. No-one is safe from his tongue or his pen, not least himself, and there may not be a finer lyricist on the planet. His knowledge and understanding of music doesn’t get enough credit and unlike so many of his peers – no matter the genre – he’s never content in being one thing; he wants to get better, he only wants to prove to himself that he’s still got it.

82. CCR

Yea yeah, I get it, I have to listen to them. Again, the few songs I’ve heard I like – don’t love, and they’re deep within that Souther US rock style I’m not a huge fan of.

81. The Drifters

I’m not sure how The Drifters ever qualified as a single group, given how many line-up changes they had ((like the article references). What remains consistent is that the voices are always strong, no matter who was in the group they all knew how to harmonise and perform together, and the melodies were smooth and timeless.

80. Elvis Costello

He’s been going for a hell of a long time, I’ll give him that Another case of knowing the artist more than the music, though what I’ve heard I never gave a second glance.

79. The Four Tops

Like The Drifters, these guys knew how to sing together; Once they had the right writing team behind them it was a money making machine. More importantly, the music was great.

78: The Stooges

Even though it always seemed like there was a lack of focus in that they apparently hated everyone and took the piss out of everyone meaning you couldn’t take anything they said seriously, they still had raw power and energy (pun intended). It was punk which was more intellectual than most and wasn’t afraid to be sexy as well as dirty and angry. I’m not overly well-versed in their stuff but much of it you can’t help but like thanks to the urgency with which they play.

77. The Beastie Boys

One of the most notable instances of rock and rap working together, The Beastie Boys have an array of hits to their name but if you look at what mostly came out of their ideas – groups like Limp Bizkit and shite of that ilk – you have to wonder was it worth the effort? Still, the band’s early stuff sounds more fresh and vital than any nu-metal or rap inspired rock band now, and the less said about current rap artists attempts to merge with rock, the better.

76. The Shirelles

Arguably the greatest girl band of all time (obviously I still hold The Bangles in the top spot), The Shirelles may not have played their own instruments or wrote many of their own songs, it was the girl next door appeal of their vocals and performance which made them stand out. They were sexy without flaunting it, honest, open, and the vocals weren’t trying to blow out the speakers. One of the few bands to truly influence The Beatles in the early days, once they had a writing team behind them they dropped a number of hits which remain unbeaten today in terms of quality.

75. The Eagles

Like a few of the other mainly US oriented bands above, I only know a handful of their songs. Maybe it’s the Country music relationship that put me off. I’ll get to them in one of my other series.

74. Hank Williams

It’s Country, so I already have a low tolerance. It’s not whiny old crap Country though.

73. Radiohead

You already know they’re one of my favourite bands. Even if they have been the Thom Yorke And Friends band now for longer than they’ve been Radiohead. When they’re good, nobody comes close to touching them, and when they’re not good they’re still more adventurous and interesting than almost any other act. I just wish they were good again. Still, when they’re live even the songs I don’t like become something special.

72. AC/DC

They’re an average rock band who has managed to crank out more hits than most. It’s pretty much mindless music with a good beat and brain-shredding vocals. I can’t take them seriously at all, even if I do agree many of their songs are catchy.

71. Frank Zappa

An incredibly influential artist, Zappa is and was like nobody else. He was a great guitarist and writer, but it just so happened that most of his music and ideas didn’t really translate into good songs.

Join me next time for another batch and let us know your thoughts on the artists above!