Amazon Vine Freebies – October 2017

Arghh, children! Children banging my door and asking for treats!

For Your Teacher

The Influential Classics Collection: The Prince and The Republic

For Your Gran

Bomb Cosmetics Holly Soaks Set

For Your Nan

Bomb Cosmetics Creature Comforts

For Your Snowflake

WeRChristmas Pre-Lit Snowflake

For Your Pussy

Animology Feline Fresh Wipes

For Your Kids

WeRChristmas Pre-Lit Nativity Scene Advent Calendar

For Your Daughter

Disney Frozen Northern Lights Anna

For Your Neighbours

Festive Productions 20L Multicolour Silver Wire Lights

For Your Other Teacher

Bomb Cosmetics Christmas Wishes

For Your Secret Santa

Bomb Cosmetics Christmas Ballotin

For Your Wife

Philips PowerLife Steam Iron

For Your Other Wife

Vax Power Stretch Total Home Vacuum

For Your True Match

L’Oreal Paris True Match Minerals Foundation

For Your Aunt

Vax Air Stretch Total Home Vacuum

For Your Da

Lynx Trio Men’s Gift Set

For Your Sister

Maybelline Sweet Cheeks Gift Set

For Yer Ma

Kitchen Craft We Love Christmas Serving Platter

For Your Arse

WeR Christmas Round Santa Christmas Cushion

For Your Bitch

Treat! Dogs Catching Treats!

For Your Other Bitch

Dove Beauty Collection Washbag

Running Out Of Puns

Festive Productions 100L LED

Running Out Of Curls

Tresemme 7 Day Smooth Gift Set

For Your Lips

L’Oreal Read My Lips Christmas Cracker

For Your Brow

Rimmel Brow Pomade

Get These Hands

WWE Top Trumps Quiz Game

Liu Kang

Fei Liu Fine Jewellery Charm Bracelet

Lou R’eal

L’Oreal Paris True Match Minerals Foundation Vanilla Rose

Lou Reed

Nivea Men Prepared Gift Set


WeRChristmas Santa With Colour Changing LED Body

Le Sacconejoly

The Sacconejolys And The Great Cat Nap

L’Ord Vader

Mitre Star Wars Football

Le Ooh La La

WeRChristmas Checked Santa Design Tree Skirt

Le Carie Dentaire

Swizzels Retro Sweet Hamper


Hoover Sprint Lightweight Cordless Vacuum

Now THAT’S what I call a month of freebies.

Amazon Vine Freebies – August 2017

More more more

Rub My Bits

Polish My Claws

Steam My Pants

Home My Friends

Wash My Areas

Sharpen My Nibs

Hurt My Ears

Teach My Brains

Amazon Vine Freebies – March 2015

A generous March provided by the Vine Gods saw me acquiring the below goodies:

Philips HX6732/45 Healthy White Rechargeable Toothbrush:


Good for keeping your chompers in check.

Bakers Dentacrunch Chicken and Country Vegetables Dry Dog Food 1 kg (Pack of 4):


Good for keeping their chompers in check.

LEGO Elves 41074: Azari and the Magical Bakery:


A great little set to keep any kid enchanted.

Olay Regenerist Luminous Skin Tone Perfecting Moisturiser Day Cream 50 ml:


It’s cream.

Lexar Professional JumpDrive S25 16GB USB 3.0 (150MB/s) Retractable Design Flash Drive Memory Stick – Teal:


Decent size and capacity, but not easily retractable.

BISSELL Multi-Reach 2-in-1 Light Weight Cordless Vacuum with 18 V Lithium-Ion 90 W – Orange:


An excellent hoover, better on hard surfaces than carpet.

Amazon Vine Freebies – July 2014

One month closer to the big Vine shake up, and one final month of frantic 8pm F5ing. July was an improvement over June, which wasn’t very difficult given June’s scant offerings:

Fisher-Price Nursery Rhymes Projector Lightshow:

It’s a crib projector which plays songs, tells stories, and projects images onto the ceiling to disturb your baby to sleep.

Ultrasport Men’s Men Function Softshelljacket – Victoria/Blue, Small:

It’s a coat for the tiny man, smooth like a horse’s neck. I gave it to my wife.


H2D VI Professional Ionic and Infrared Hair Straighteners:

It’s a very good set of straigheners. Not to be used on horses.


Philips Disney Princess Children’s Night Light and Projector – 1 x 0.1 W Integrated LED:

It’s a projector which doesn’t play music or tell stories, but projects images onto the ceiling to disturb your baby to sleep – with added Princesses!

Amazon Vine Freebies – November 2013

Well well, it has been a long time since I shared by generous bounty with you. I’ve been off helping James Woods battle aliens on a distant planet, only pausing amidst the carnage twice a month to check what Amazon has wanted to give me. The last few months have seen a shift from electronics to groceries, and while I’m all for eating biscuits and cereal, i’d still rather eat a TV. In November I received thus:

Drug War:

Johnnie To is back in peak form with this crime-action drama featuring a strong ensemble cast and many moments which reminded me of the best in the genre – Heat, Infernal Affairs etc. There are some great performances, plenty of action packed set-pieces, and a twisting, finger nibbling plot.


John Milius has always been one of my favourite directors, and is easily one of Cinema’s best, underrated writers. Jaws? Apocalypse Now? Hunt For Red October? Dirty Harry? Conan? Rome? The list goes on, and this documentary follows his career from early Film School days with Lucas, Spielberg etc, features many amusing anecdotes from some of Hollywood’s most important people, and proves both that you can make your dream come true (if you have a big enough gun) and that the world needs more Milius.

Philips AVENT DECT Baby Monitor SCD560/01 with Light, Lullabies and Temperature Sensor:

Baby sensors are always handy, especially when you have babies, and possibly more so if you are under attack by a horde of zombabies (I guarantee that before the year is through someone will have made a movie called ZOMBABIES).

Finish All In 1 Lemon Sparkle 78 Dishwasher Tablets:

Bizarrely not a wepon to use in a futuristic murder-sport, the Finish Powerball (I guarantee that before the year is through someone will have made a movie called POWERBALL) lays waste to grim, wreaks havoc on dirt, and creates billions of orphan germs by sweeping through your dishwasher and leaving everything shiny, lemony, and sparkly, like a Sprite flavoured vampire.

Amazon Vine Freebies – October 2013

The horror! Amazon have decided to change the format, layout, presentation etc of the Vine and Last Harvest Pages. It’s horrible. Horrible like when you wake up with a tramp in your mouth. Still, I was able to look at the screen long enough to select the following freebies:

Philips DVT1700 Digital Voice Recorder with DNS Speech to Text Software:

Aside from possibly recording farts and blackmail, I’m not sure what I’ll use this for.

Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death: Reflections on Memory and Imagination:

This sort-of biography brings together Kulka’s memories and reflections on the part of his childhood spent in Auschwitz. It is written in fragmented style, almost like the reader is only hearing snippets of a bigger story, overhearing on a crowded train. Nevertheless, it is expectedly sobering, but doesn’t focus on the harrowing side of things, instead giving a child’s views on what he sees – sometimes witnessing violence but not fully understanding, feeling the inevitable finger of death crossing over the camp yards, but still trying to live, learn, and fight.

Braun Cruzer 5 Rechargeable Foil Electric Shaver:

I’m looking forward to trying this bad boy out after my last razor broke thanks to the dreadful, irresistable force of my facial hair.

Dinosaur Christmas:

This gripping factual text explores the origins of Father Christmas’s’es’es’s relationship with thunder lizards – also known as Dinosauruses. After missing Christmas one year for being drunk on Cave Juice, it turns out that Santa banished the creatures to Rygel IVXIIW-P and replaced them with Laplanders – also known as Reindeer.