Manic Mondays – 3rd April 2017

As I continue to ‘review’ each and every Manics song, I think it’s making the Manic Mondays posts a little less interesting, so rather than add lyrics from only them on Mondays I’m going to spice it up from now on and pick anyone who pops up on my iPod. I can’t guarantee the lyrics will be as good now, but at least they will be more diverse. With that in mind:

‘I heard about your story from a friend/To let go and make an end, that’s what you did’

Story – Lene Marlin

 

Hilarious Lyrics Translations – February 2017

By the balls of Trump, it has been a wanky wanky long time since I’ve done one of these never-to-be-read shambolic rants. Rather than randomly selecting a Chart song I don’t know, lets kick things off by picking a song I actually know!

Sia – Cheap Thrills

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I love Sia, but I cannot abide that muppet Sean Paul. Has Sean Paul ever made a good song? Or has his presence ever made a song better? The answer to both is nein. His voice is the same as the sound two robots make when they have just discovered porn and want to try it out. His voice is like shitting a magnet when you have shrapnel in your ass. His voice is the  literal projection of the thoughts of an Alt-Right loon. Sean Paul, his voice like a thousand wasted dreams, like a bunion crusting over; Sean Paul, like an oft-reported hate crime; like a three-legged trolley. Enough.

I quite like this song, not nearly as much as her other hits and many others on her albums, and it would be better without that other dickhead’s warbling – it’s a bit of fluff, not like the usual incisive and emotional tracks she pens, but we all need some fluff in our life from time to time. Lyrically it is very simple and doesn’t vary from any of the other hundred songs released every year about dancing and all that junk. Naturally, no-one (himself included) has the faintest notion of what Sean Paul is actually saying. Sean Paul, with his voice like a mysterious soup pube.

The Original

Up with it, girl. Rock with it, girl (Sia). Show dem it, girl. Bada bang bang. Bounce with it, girl. Dance with it, girl. Get with it, girl. Bada bang bang. Come on, come on, turn the radio on. It’s Friday night, and it won’t be long. Gotta do my hair, put my make-up on It’s Friday night, and it won’t be long.

Till I hit the dance floor (bada bang) Hit the dance floor (bada bang) I got all I need. No, I ain’t got cash, I ain’t got cash But I got you, baby (just you and me). Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills!

But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat, Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money. U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control.

Come on, come on, turn the radio on. It’s Saturday, and it won’t be long. Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on. It’s Saturday, and it won’t be long. Till I hit the dance floor (bada bang) Hit the dance floor (bada bang) I got all I need (Sia). No, I ain’t got cash, I ain’t got cash, But I got you, baby (just you and me).

Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money.

U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control. Me and you, girl, you and me. Drop it to di floor an mek mi see your energy because Mi nah play no hide an seek Wah fi see di ting u have weh mek mi feel weak girl.

‘Cause anytime u wine an kotch it Di selector pull it up an put it pon repeat girl. I’m nah touch a dollar in mi pocket ‘Cause nuttin in this world ain’t more dan what u worth. I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money.

U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control. Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills!

But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money. U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I keep dancing Free up urself, get outa control La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la I love cheap thrills

The Translation

Also, girls. And rock, girl (she). Show it, girls. Bada bang bang. So bounce, girls. And dance and girls. It gets along with the girls. Bada bang bang. Come and turn on the radio. It is Friday night so it will not be long. Please do my hair and make it on Friday night. It is not long.

I play the dance floor until I hit the dance floor (bada bang) (bada bang) I got everything I needed. No, I do not have cash, I do not have cash, But I have you, baby (you and me). Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills!

But I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat, Mek di hit jus tek’s control. I do not need money. More valued Dan diamonds, more Dan gold. As long as I am dancing. Release urself and gain outa control.

Come and turn on the radio. It’s Saturday, it will not be long. Please paint my nails and put my high heels on. It’s Saturday, it will not be long. Before I come to the dance floor (bada bang) I hit the dance floor (bada bang) I have everything I need (Sia). No, I do not have cash, I do not have cash, but I have you, baby (you and me).

Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! But I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money.

As long as I continue dancing, more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Release urself and gain outa control. Me and you, girl, you and me. I see your energy, so I see your energy I have meh feel a weak girl.

Because you are always taking wine in a glass. I have not touched a dollar in mi pocket. Because the world ‘s nuttin is not worth it any more. I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money.

As long as I continue dancing, more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Release urself and gain outa control. Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills!

But I do not need gold more dan diamonds, more Dan gold worth. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money. More valued Dan diamonds, more Dan gold. As long as I continue dancing, I love cheap thrills! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la cheap thrill! ) La la la la la La I love cheap thrills.

The WTF

You know, I probably could have translated from English into English and returned similar results. Sia is renamed ‘She’, which I’m sure ‘she’ would appreciate, and ‘it gets along with the girls has the vague air of a stalker to it. Rather than being a song about getting ready for a night on the town, the opening sounds more like a young, robotic geek in the 1930s becoming over-excited in advance of their favourite radio serial coming on the air.

The next section clearly references an annoying child being hyper at a disco, playing too hard, falling and hitting the ground hard – getting exactly what they deserved. The child wants a new toy to make them feel better, but mumma ain’t got no cash to buy anything and instead attempts to impart a valuable moral and financial lesson – that you can have fun without money (a lie). Also, I don’t know about you, but in my neck of the woods a cheap thrill refers to a sexual act, usually something like a dry hump in an alleyway, or some pocket billiards at the back of the class while looking at your teacher. I have no idea who Dan Gold or Dan Diamonds is, sounds like one of those online comparison sites or converting your precious metals to cash scams.

It’s Saturday now, and still suffering the effects of the previous night’s excesses, our heroine needs help getting ready. Oddly, she seems to be experiencing a Casual Loop or predestination paradox as she somehow hits the dancefloor before actually getting to the dancefloor. Unless this is some elaborate metaphor for already dancing and getting in hte mood long before you actually reach the club. Later, the stalker evidently returns and is frightened off by the girl’s ‘energy’ and instead moves in on an easier target – ‘meh feel a weak girl’.

The final section is a caustic and frank look at poverty, as the narrator exclaims in amazement that people actually put wine in a glass, and bemoan the fact that they haven’t had even as much as a dollar in their pocket. This life has driven them to suicidal thoughts – ‘the world ‘s nuttin is not worth it any more’. Yet, those cheap thrills still have an allure and rather than throw it all away, the narrator appears to void their senses and drifts away with a multitude of ‘la la las’. It’s a fun song taken to unexpectedly dark places.

Let us know in the comments which songs you would like to see be badly translated!