Loaded

Loaded

A pretty little rich boy gets involved in drugs and violence in a pretty little rich town. Potentially interesting ruined by poor acting, poor camerawork, terrible characters who speak in the most inane language in an unconvincing manner, an ending which doesn’t answer questions about certain characters and an open half hour or more in which absolutely nothing happens.

Yes, the intro goes on for most of the movie- introducing the gardener from Desperate Housewives who, it seems, was once involved in drugs and other scary things and witnessed a friend dying. He has moved on, is doing well at Uni, has a bunch of friends who say a lot but have nothing to say, and parents who watch over him like prison guards. There follows scene after scene of semi nude , semi skeletal women gyrating to awful music, flashy camerawork which gets irratating before the first time it happens, and shots of people from a society which will hopefully soon be long forgotten drinking and grinning. Eventually something happens.

I won’t ‘spoil’ the ‘plot’, but basically the story follows Metcalfe descend back into his old ways which threaten to destroy everything he has achieved (been given) before he realises what has been happening and fights to save himself. I’m struggling to remember why i decided to give this two stars instead of one. Monica Keena, the only character worth remotely caring in, is watchable amidst the mire of stereotypes scraped off the back of a Tim Westwood earlobe, and Vinnie Jones is ok as himself. There are a few scenes of action, mostly handled as if by someone who runs away when they see a couple of birds fighting over a worm, and a couple of moments of violence which aren’t anything exciting for fans. There are a few funny moments, although that may have been my own madness setting in. For fans of things which look as if they go boom (but don’t) and people who think they’re beautiful (but aren’t).