Essential Movies – 1964 – An Alternative View

For my original post explaining my criteria – click here!

Rules: Ten films which, in some way, show our history and culture reflected in film and, film’s growth and change as a medium. It can’t simply be your ten personal favourites of the year. One of your ten choices must be in the top 10 grossing films of the given year. One of the films must have been nominated for a Best Film Oscar (Best Picture, Best Foreign Feature, or Best Animated Feature). One of the films needs to appear in a renowned critic or magazine or book’s best 10 films of the year. These choices can’t overlap. 

  1. Dr Strangelove (Academy Award Choice)
  2. Goldfinger (Top Grossing Choice)
  3. Woman In The Dunes (Critical Choice)
  4. The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg
  5. A Hard Day’s Night
  6. A Fistful Of Dollars
  7. Band Of Outsiders
  8. Marriage Italian Style
  9. My Fair Lady
  10. Mary Poppins

Let us know your picks for the Top Ten Essential Movies of 1964!

Nightman’s Updated Favourite Films Of 1983

Greetings, Glancers! We continue my new series of posts which will detail my favourite films of every year since 1950. Why 1950? Why 10? Why anything? Check out my original post here. As with most of these lists the numbering doesn’t really matter much, though in most cases the Number 1 will be my clear favourite. As I know there are plenty of Stats Nerds out there, I’ll add in some bonus crap at the bottom but the main purpose of these posts is to keep things short. So!

10: Project A (HK)

A period Jackie Chan movie about clashing cops and bad guys, but most importantly it features some of Chan, and Cinema’s most death-defying stunts.

9: The Hunger (UK/US)

Tony Scott’s sultry, stylish vampire story starring David Bowie, Catherine Deneuve, and Susan Sarandon is a feast for the eyes and the loins.

8: The Dead Zone (US)

The first of two David Cronenberg movies on my list, it’s perhaps amusing that the story of a man who can see the awful shit which is going to happen in the future just by touching a person, is not the strangest of his two entries. One of the finest, understated Stephen King adaptations, it’s a very straight film considering the director and the cast, and is sadly one of the most prescient films of today considering when it was released.

7: Le Dernier Combat (France)

Luc Besson’s thrilling, low-budget debut is chocked full of the ambition and style he would show in later movies once funds caught up with him. It’s an end of the world story about holding on to the final scraps which make life worth living and a damning statement on humanity darkest aspects.

6: Blue Thunder (US)

Helicopter action was all the rage in the 80s, what with Airwolf, Rambo III, and this. Starring Roy Scheider and featuring a young Daniel Stern, Malcolm McDowell, Warren Oates, and Candy Clark, it’s a thriller with plenty of familiar faces and even if the plot is your typical Cop versus Shady Crim Org, the helicopter action more than makes up for any nonsense.

5: Rumble Fish (US)

My four and five are interchangeable and similar in many ways. Both directed by Coppola and sharing a lot of ideas and both featuring a young cast of up and comers, Rumble Fish is the more visually striking of the two. This one follows the relationship between two brothers – one who is trying to move away from the violence of his thug life, and one who is trying to get into it.

4: The Outsiders (US)

The Outsiders is another film focused on youth, brothers, and friendship, this time featuring a more extensive cast, overlapping plots, and a more straightforward directing approach. It’s one of the great teen movies.

3: Videodrome (Canada)

A film which could have only come out in the 80s and only from the mind of David Cronenberg. A small-time TV Exec discovers what appears to be an underground TV show which presents mainly snuff footage and other assorted treats and becomes obsessed with finding out about the show, believing it to be the future of entertainment. The more he learns, the more unhinged he becomes, and both he and the viewer become unsure of what is real or fantasy or if such distinctions even matter any more. A twisted satire on entertainment, culture, and political causes, it’s a showcase for Cronenberg’s Body-Horror ethos and Rick Baker’s wizardry.

2: Scarface (US)

One of the all time great remakes, Brian De Palma’s Scarface is quintessentially 80s. While most of us were rightfully lapping up Spielberg and Amblin, and dreaming of BMX adventures, something more sinister was spreading across the US. Crime, drugs, and all manner of related excess was rampant and the acquiring of the American Dream no longer meant rolling up your sleeves and getting stuck in to your particular craft, instead it meant meeting (or killing) the right person, and cheating, gambling, and shooting your way to the top until there was nobody left to stand in your way. Al Pacino’s sneering performance is one for the ages, the Miami setting is seedy in the extreme, and the supporting cast featuring Michelle Pfeifer, Robert Loggia, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Steven Bauer, and F Murray Abraham is stellar.

1: Return Of The Jedi (US)

Covered in my favourite movies of the Decade post.

How Many Of My Films Were In The Top 10 Grossing Of The Year: One (the top grosser)

How Many Of My Films Were Nominated For the Best Picture Oscar: Zero

Nightman’s Updated Favourite Films Of 1984

Greetings, Glancers! We continue my new series of posts which will detail my favourite films of every year since 1950. Why 1950? Why 10? Why anything? Check out my original post here. As with most of these lists the numbering doesn’t really matter much, though in most cases the Number 1 will be my clear favourite. As I know there are plenty of Stats Nerds out there, I’ll add in some bonus crap at the bottom but the main purpose of these posts is to keep things short. So!

10: Ghostbusters (US)

Ghostbusters, unlike many 80s movies I enjoyed as a child, is one I’ve grown less fond of over the years. Conversely, it’s one which most people’s appreciation of grows with time. I think it’s because the focus on Bill Murray as the star isn’t as appealing to me. Nevertheless, it was a big part of my childhood and remains as invigorating and exciting as it ever was, to the extent that my two year old son has already watched and enjoyed it.

9: This Is Spinal Tap (US)

Being a fan of comedy and metal, and sometimes making music which is supposed to be funny, and being a film fan, it was only a matter of time being I got to This Is Spinal Tap. It’s one of many films I knew of and felt I had seen long before I ever had. Seeing it for the first time as an early teen meant I only focused on the surface jokes, but over the years its one whose humour both creeps and leaps off the screen to drum in some new piece of dialogue or visual gag I hadn’t picked up on before.

8: Starman (US)

As close to a ‘straight’ film as Carpenter will ever get, certainly as close to a simple romance, this tale of grief, bereavement, and recovery is enhanced by its sci-fi setting, its music, and its great lead pairing.

7: Beverly Hills Cop (US)

I used to have this argument with my brother – in which Beverly Hills Cop movie does Axl Foley come closest to dying. It’s these meaningless, years-spanning arguments which signify that a movie has become important to you. Here I am, thirty years later, still talking about it. It’s a fast, fun, funny, action packed movie with a great cast, score, and has that 80s nostalgia factor through the roof.

6: The Karate Kid (US)

What a wonder, what a joy it is that The Karate Kid series lives on today with the excellent Cobra Kai. That show is the prime example of how to continue an ancient franchise – it respects the originals and follows naturally. But this is where it all began, basically a remake of Rocky for a younger audience, it’s a film which speaks to any era even though its steeped in the decade in which it was born. A film which did more to make me want to pinch and kick bullies and get the girl more than any other.

5: Gremlins (US)

I’m surprised that I put this higher than The Karate Kid and would probably flip the two. Nevertheless, Gremlins is just as much a part of my childhood and is one of a handful of films which can be enjoyed both at Christmas, at Halloween, and at any time of the year. It works as a family movie, an action movie, a horror, a comedy, and is another example of that singular atmosphere and energy which 80s movies had which you don’t seem to find anymore.

4: Temple Of Doom (US)

My favourite Indiana Jones movie was one of my earliest cinematic exposure to the horror and blood’n’guts that I craved. The series dealt heavily in the mythology aspects of history which I was devouring in text form as a youngling, but Temple was the one which felt like it most fully embraced that side. It was a fantasy adjacent film which mixed horror and martial arts elements, while never sacrificing (pun intended?) the swashbuckling adventure, humour, romance, and charm which first catapulted the series into the skies.

3: Police Academy (US) (Top Ten Of All Time)

Covered in my Top Films Of The 80s post.

2: A Nightmare On Elm Street (US) (Top Ten Of All Time)

Covered in my Top Films Of The 80s post.

1: The Terminator (US) (Top Ten Of All Time)

Covered in my Top Films Of The 80s post.

Let us know your favourites in the comments!

The Nightman Scoring System (c) Music Review Master List!

Greetings, Glancers! I mentioned in my last post that I was going to go back and give my favourite albums, and anything else I’ve heard, the Get Rekt treatment. I completely forgot that when I’d been doing this for The Beatles that I was posting them under the Nightman Scoring System series instead. That works out nicely as it provides a neat differentiation between movies (Get Rekt) and music (Nightman Scoring System). Even though it’s basically the same approach – score using an unbiased system breaking a product into twenty equally weighted categories.

While it was easy to do this with movies, because I had already posted lists of my favourite movies of each year and had a ready-made master-list, I did not have anything similar for music. This post changes that. This post will similarly be updated with albums, scores, and links to reviews, the differences being that I’ll continue to update the music I review, and instead of going year by year, I’ll post alphabetically by artist. In the early days, there won’t be many artists, but as time goes on and my reviews batch up, you’ll see the array of artists expand.

If you’re interested in any of the artists and albums below, or my thoughts on them, please have a look around and share your own thoughts. Enjoy!

Bad Bunny – YHLQMDLG – 58

Biffy Clyro – A Celebration Of Endings – 63

Bob Dylan – Rough And Rowdy Ways – 64

Chloe X Halle – Ungodly Hour – 68

Code Orange – Underneath – 61

Deftones – Ohms – 60

Dua Lipa – Future Nostalgia – 74

Enter Shikari – Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible – 57

Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters – 67

Ghostmane – Anti-Icon – 54

Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure – 58

Lady Gaga – Chromatica – 74

Lil Baby – My Turn – 51

The Beatles – Please Please Me – 81

The Beatles – With The Beatles – 71

The Beatles – A Hard Day’s Night – 92

The Beatles – For Sale – 80

The Beatles – Help! – 93

The Beatles – Rubber Soul – 90

Nightman’s Favourite Movies – Critically Destroyed!

Rekt PNG Images, Free Transparent Rekt Download - KindPNG

*NOTE – Sometimes things get messy when you’re an unstructured mess like I am. The post below was written in advance of me posting my first Get Rekt movie post. But then I forgot to publish it, flying ahead with the series with no explanation. I’m rectifying (rektifying?) that now. So this is a slightly more pointless post than most stuff around here.

Greetings, Glancers! You’ve read it by now, right? My Nightman’s Scoring System (c) Movie Edition post? If you haven’t, click that link and start using it – bloggers, critics, movie reviewers – it’s a great system to employ if you absolutely must give a score in your movie reviews, much better than an arbitrary or random score out of 5, 10, or 100.

If you hang around my site more than is legally advised, chancers are you’ve had a juke at either my Favourite Movies By Year posts or my Beatles albums reviews. In the Beatles posts, I used the musical version of the Nightman Scoring System (c) to give a score. As I was brushing my teeth last night, I was thinking how to better advertise and use the Movie version in my posts and have decided to go through my Movies By Year posts and score those movies using the system. If I was going down the purely arbitrary route, I would simply assign a 5 out of 5, or 10 out of 10 to everyone one of those. That would be selfish and based mostly on personal preference, while I’m aware that quite a few of those films are not ‘good’ or deserving of such a score on a critical level.

But I’m curious to see how well these films do in terms of scoring, and how they rank against each other. Is Problem Child a better film than Police Academy 4? I have no idea, but we’ll find out. Twenty categories, each with a score out of five, each given as honest a consideration as I can provide while admittedly being a bias-tainted fanboy, totalled to tally a final result out of 100. It’s going to take a while, and I’ll probably give up long before the end, but I’m planning to give it a shot.

In writing my original yearly favourite movie posts, I started at 1950 and worked forwards and for my updated posts I started at 2010 and worked backwards. To spice things up for myself in this series, I think I’m going to start with the Number 10s of each year, starting with 1950, then circle back to the Number 9s until we get to the Number 1s. That way I won’t get bored looking at the same year for weeks on end. It would be swell if we had some audience participation too – give your own scores and we can compare. I know you won’t, but I can dream.

In all seriousness, this is mainly another case of my curiosity getting the better of me, leading to another series of posts no-one is going to care about. I have fun writing these things though, so it’s all good. As always, feel free to drop your input in the comments section and I’ll see you there!

A Movie Fan’s AI Christmas Bonanza

Greetings, Glancers! Cold, innit? It is here, on the North Coast of the North of Ireland where the price of oil, coal, the bodies of slaughtered heathens, or whatever else you choose to burn to keep your home toasty, has been skyrocketing since silly Mr Putin decided to flick his microscopic shlong South without consent. Luckily, Christmas is around the corner and we’ll be briefly distracted from these and other woes as we partake in the grand old tradition of giving, and more importantly, receiving gifts. There will be booze, TV, and lots of sitting about not worrying about work. Tis truly the most wonderful time of the year.

Here is my gift to you; A sporadic collection of AI generated art featuring some of my favourite movie icons celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Santa F’n Claus. I hope it brings you some festive cheer, and that you huddle around your smartphone or laptop with your loved ones to enjoy some lovely, memory-building laughs.

Darth Furder
Thumbs up – knobs out
Dr Nope
Shaken, stirred, and highly disturbed
Some Like It Hot
Merry Christmas, Mr President
Some Like It Not
Ho Ho No
Rockin Around The Zuul Tree
WAAAAY HAAAAAYYY!
Your Foster Parents Are Dead
Memetic Poly Alloy Ho Ho
I Know Now Why You Cry
Anyone not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day, get it?
Dead or alive, you’re coming with me
COME QUIETY OF THERE WILL BEEEE… TROUBLE
Can you cry, Bobby?
If it sings, we can kill it
I’m gonna have me some fun
Sprouts
You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch
IT’S CHRIIIIIIISSSSSTMAAAAAAASSSS!
Have Yourself A Very Phallic Christmas
Meanwhile…
Just You…..And I….
So I Was Like… ‘sometimes my arms bend back’
So much as, you know, disembowel children
The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it. While looking like this.
That thing you do with your mouth that boys like
How sweet, fresh meat
Wanna suck face
Welcome to prime time, bitch!
O Holy Night, Batman
Pure…. West…
This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be millionaires
The Seven Days Of Christmas
Frolic in brine, goblins be thine
… and a Sadako in a pear tree

Merry Christmas!

Get Rekt – A recap and future state

Greetings, Glancers! I’ve been publishing quite a lot of Get Rekt movie posts recently, and some of you have been reading and (hopefully) enjoying them. This post is to provide a recap on what Get Rekt is all about, and to present the films I have yet to cover. It’s not a roadmap or publishing schedule by any means, but rather a single place for anyone enjoying this series to check out the full list of films I’m covering, what I’ve done, and what’s to come.

First off, here’s a link to the original post explaining why I’m doing all this, and what the different categories are. The short version is that I don’t usually score whatever I review, but I decided I wanted to explore how good or bad I feel my favourite movies are by removing as much bias as I can, and by giving a score out of five for twenty categories I feel are important in film. I can’t just give 5s across the board, because I have to use real, honest data along with valuable opinion. I can’t give a score of five in a category of Sales to a movie which was a complete flop, as much as you can’t give a score of 1 for Performances to a film where the cast won Oscars for their performances.

The list of films I’m using this system for are my favourite films of each year, going back to 1950. In most cases it’s 10 films per year, but in a few others the total could reach 20. To keep things interesting, I’m starting from the bottom of each year, and moving from the first year in each decade to the next in each post, then back around. That means my 10th favourite film of 1950 would be first, then my 10th favourite of 1960, tenth of 1970, 80, 90, and 2000s, then back around to my 10th favourite of 1951, 61, 71 etc.

Here is the full list, by year, with links to the published posts:

1950

10: Les Enfants Terribles (France)

9: Outrage (USA)

8: Panic In The Streets (USA)

7: Gun Crazy (USA)

6: Winchester 73 (USA)

5: Rio Grande (USA)

4: Stage Fright (GB)

3: Cinderella (USA)

2: All About Eve (USA)

1: Rashomon (Japan)

1951

10: Scrooge (UK)

9: Fourteen Hours (USA)

8: The Prowler (USA)

7: Quo Vadis (USA)

6: The Lavender Hill Mob (UK)

5: The Idiot (Japan)

4: The African Queen (UK/USA)

3: A Streetcar Named Desire (USA)

2: The Thing From Another World (USA)

1: Strangers On A Train (USA)

1952

10: Flesh And Fury (USA)

9: Bend Of The River (USA)

8: Monkey Business (USA)

7: The Steel Trap (USA)

6: Viva Zapata (USA)

5: Forbidden Games (France)

4: The Greatest Show On Earth (USA)

3: The Prisoner Of Zenda (USA)

2: High Noon (USA)

1: Ikiru (Japan)

1953

10: Peter Pan (US)

9: Fear And Desire (US)

8: Stalag 17 (US)

7: Tokyo Story (Japan)

6: I Confess (US/Canada)

5: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (US)

4: From Here To Eternity (US)

3: The Hitch-hiker (US)

2: The Big Heat (US)

1: The Wild One (US)

1954

10: Sabrina (USA)

9: The Caine Mutiny (USA)

8: La Strada (Italy)

7: Hell And High Water (USA)

6: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (USA)

5: On The Waterfront (USA)

4: Godzilla (Japan)

3: Dial M For Murder (USA)

2: Rear Window (USA)

1: Seven Samurai (Japan)

1955

10: The Ladykillers (UK)

9: I Live In Fear (Japan)

8: Lady And The Tramp (USA)

7: Les Diaboliques (France)

6: The Colditz Story (UK)

5: East Of Eden (USA)

4: Bad Day At Black Rock (USA)

3: The Night Of The Hunter (USA)

2: Marty (USA)

1: Rebel Without A Cause (USA)

1956

10: Crime in The Streets (USA)

9: The Ten Commandments (USA)

8: The Killing (USA)

7: I Vampiri (Italy)

6: The Wrong Man (USA)

5: The Searchers (USA)

4: Giant (USA)

3: The Bad Seed (USA)

2: The Man Who Knew Too Much (USA)

1: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (USA)

1957

10: Sayonara (USA)

9: 20 Million Miles To Earth (USA)

8: Funny Face (USA)

7: The Lower Depths (Japan)

6: The Bridge On The River Kwai (UK/USA)

5: The Seventh Seal (Sweden)

4: Paths Of Glory (USA)

3: Night Of The Demon (UK)

2: 12 Angry Men (USA)

1: Throne Of Blood (Japan)

1958

10: Thunder Road (USA)

9: The Blob (USA)

8: The Vikings (USA)

7: The Defiant Ones (USA)

6: The Magician (Sweden)

5: The Hidden Fortress (Japan)

4: The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad (USA)

3: Touch Of Evil (USA)

2: Dracula (UK)

1: Vertigo (USA)

1959

10: The Diary Of Anne Frank (USA)

9: The Hound Of The Baskervilles (UK)

8: Anatomy of A Murder (USA)

7: The House On Haunted Hill (USA)

6: On The Beach (USA)

5: The 400 Blows (France)

4: Rio Bravo (USA)

3: Ben Hur (USA)

2: Sleeping Beauty (USA)

1: North By Northwest (USA)

1960

10: Village Of The Damned (UK)

9: Eyes Without A Face (France)

8: The Apartment (USA)

7: Jigoku (Japan)

6: La Dolce Vita (Italy)

5: Breathless (France)

4: Spartacus (USA)

3: Peeping Tom (UK)

2: Psycho (USA)

1: The Magnificent Seven (USA)

1961

10: The Young Ones (UK)

9: Judgement At Nuremberg (USA)

8: One Eyed Jacks (USA)

7: The Day The Earth Caught Fire (UK)

6: Breakfast At Tiffany’s (USA)

5: The Innocents (UK)

4: One Hundred And One Dalmations (US)

3: The Hustler (US)

2: The Guns Of Navarone (UK/US)

1: Yojimbo (Japan)

1962

10: Carnival Of Souls (USA)

9: Lawrence Of Arabia (USA/UK)

8: To Kill A Mockingird (USA)

7: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (USA)

6: The Longest Day (USA)

5: What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? (USA)

4: Sanjuro (Japan)

3: Lolita (UK/USA)

2: Cape Fear (USA)

1: Dr No (UK)

1963

10: Dementia 13 (USA)

9: The Pink Panther (USA)

8: 8 1/2 (Italy/France)

7: The Sword In The Stone (USA)

6: Cleopatra (USA)

5: The Haunting (UK)

4: From Russia With Love (UK)

3: Jason And The Argonauts (UK/USA)

2: The Birds (USA)

1: The Great Escape (USA)

1964

10: Marriage, Italian Style (Italy)

9: Woman In The Dunes (Japan)

8: Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (USA)

7:  A Hard Day’s Night (UK)

6: Seance On A Wet Afternoon (UK)

5: Dr. Strangelove (UK/USA)

4: Kwaidan (Japan)

3: Zulu (UK)

2: A Fistful Of Dollars (Italy/Germany/Spain)

1: Goldfinger (UK)

1965

10: A Patch Of Blue (USA)

9: Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (USA)

8: The Flight Of The Phoenix (USA)

7: Alphaville (France)

6: Von Ryan’s Express (USA)

5: The Cincinnati Kid (USA)

4: The Ipcress File (UK)

3: Thunderball (UK)

2: Repulsion (UK)

1: For A Few Dollars More (Italy/Germany/Spain)

1966

10: Carry On Screaming (UK)

9: Born Free (UK)

8: Alfie (UK)

7: The Professionals (US)

6: Blowup (UK/US/Italy)

5: One Million BC (UK)

4: Dracula, Prince Of Darkness (UK)

3: The Battle of Algiers (Italy/Algeria)

2: Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? (USA)

1: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly (Italy/Germany/Spain/US)

1967

10: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (USA)

9: The Fearless Vampire Killers (USA)

8: In The Heat of The Night (USA)

7: Bonnie And Clyde (USA)

6: The Graduate (USA)

5: Cool Hand Luke (USA)

4: Wait Until Dark (USA)

3: The Dirty Dozen (USA)

2: The Jungle Book (USA)

1: You Only Live Twice (UK)

1968

10: Barbarella (France/Italy)

9: Hell In The Pacific (USA)

8: If (UK)

7: The Producers (USA)

6: Planet Of The Apes (USA)

5: 2001 A Space Odyssey (UK/USA)

4: Bullitt (USA)

3: Rosemary’s Baby (USA)

2: Once Upon A Time In The West (Italy/USA/Spain)

1: Night Of The Living Dead (USA)

1969

10: Carry On Camping (UK)

9: The Damned (Italy/Germany)

8: They Shoot Horses Don’t They (USA)

7: Marlowe (USA)

6: Easy Rider (USA)

5: Midnight Cowboy (USA)

4: The Italian Job (UK)

3: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (UK)

2: Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid (USA)

1: The Wild Bunch (USA)

1970

10: Woodstock (USA)

9: Zabriskie Point (USA)

8: MASH (USA)

7: Brewster McCloud (USA)

6: The Conformist (Italy/France/Germany)

5: Joe (USA)

4: The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (Italy/Germany)

3: Patton (USA)

2: Five Easy Pieces (USA)

1: Kelly’s Heroes (USA)

1971

10: Vanishing Point (USA)

9: McCabe And Mrs Miller (USA)

8: Walkabout (UK/OZ)

7: Straw Dogs (US/UK)

6: The French Connection (USA)

5: Get Carter (UK)

4: Dirty Harry (USA)

3: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (USA)

2: The Big Boss (HK/Thailand)

1: A Clockwork Orange (USA/UK)

1972

10: Silent Running (US)

9: Last Tango In Paris (France/Italy)

8: The Getaway (US)

7: Asylum (UK)

6: Deliverance (US)

5: Game Of Death (HK)

4: The Last House On The Left (US)

3: Fist Of Fury (HK)

2: Way Of The Dragon (HK)

1: The Godfather (US)

1973

10: Badlands (US)

9: Robin Hood (US)

8: High Plains Drifter (US)

7: Mean Streets (US)

6: Serpico (US)

5: Don’t Look Now (UK/Italy)

4: The Wicker Man (UK)

3: The Exorcist (US)

2: Enter The Dragon (HK/US)

1: Live And Let Die (UK)

1974

10: Black Christmas (CAN)

9: Stone (OZ)

8: Blazing Saddles (US)

7: Death Wish (US)

6: Chinatown (US)

5: Young Frankenstein (US)

4: The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (UK)

3: The Man With The Golden Gun (UK)

2: The Godfather Part 2 (US)

1: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (US)

1975

10: Nashville (US)

9: Barry Lyndon (UK/US)

8: Picnic At Hanging Rock (OZ)

7: Hard Times (US)

6: Deep Red (Italy)

5: The Land That Time Forgot (UK/US)

4: Monty Python And The Holy Grail (UK)

3: Dog Day Afternoon (US)

2: One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (US)

1: Jaws (US)

1976

10: All The President’s Men (USA)

9: Network (USA)

8: Silver Streak (USA)

7: The Outlaw Josey Wales (USA)

6: Logan’s Run (USA)

5: Carrie (USA)

4: Taxi Driver (USA)

3: The Omen (USA)

2: Rocky (USA)

1: Assault On Precinct 13 (USA)

1977

10: Hausu (Japan)

9: Rabid (Canada/USA)

8: Sorcerer (USA)

7: Soldier Of Orange (Netherlands)

6: Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (USA)

5: Martin (USA)

4: Eraserhead (USA)

3: Suspiria (Italy)

2: The Spy Who Loved Me (UK)

1: Star Wars Episode IV (USA)

1978

10: Eyes of Laura Mars (USA)

9: Midnight Express (USA)

8: Big Wednesday (USA)

7: Jaws 2 (USA)

6: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (USA)

5: The Deer Hunter (USA)

4: Superman (USA/UK/Switz/Panama)

3: The Driver (USA)

2: Halloween (USA)

1: Dawn Of The Dead (USA)

1979

10: Escape From Alcatraz (US)

9: Escape To Athena (UK)

8: Life Of Brian (UK)

7: Zombie Flesh Eaters (Italy)

6: Quadrophenia (UK)

5: Rocky II (US)

4: Apocalypse Now (US)

3: The Warriors (US)

2: Mad Max (AUS)

1: Alien (UK/US)

1980

10: The Big Red One (US) Sam Fuller

9: Cannibal Holocaust (Italy)

8: Kagemusha (Japan)

7: The Watcher In The Woods (US/UK)

6: The Elephant Man (US)

5: Raging Bull (US)

4: The Blues Brothers (US)

3: The Shining (US)

2: The Fog (US)

1: The Empire Strikes Back (US)

1981

10: Escape To Victory (UK/US)

9: The Entity (US)

8: Scanners (Canada)

7: Clash Of The Titans (UK/US)

6: The Evil Dead (US)

5: Escape From New York (US)

4: An American Werewolf In London (UK/US)

3: For Your Eyes Only (UK)

2: Raiders Of The Lost Ark (US)

1: The Road Warrior (AUS)

1982

10: Q (US)

9: The Wall (UK)

8: Poltergeist (US)

7: Creepshow (US)

6: 48 Hours (US)

5: Blade Runner (US)

4: Rocky 3 (US)

3: First Blood (US)

2: The Thing (US)

1: Conan The Barbarian (US)

1983

10: Project A (HK)

9: The Hunger (UK/US)

8: The Dead Zone (US)

7: Le Dernier Combat (France)

6: Blue Thunder (US)

5: Rumble Fish (US)

4: The Outsiders (US)

3: Videodrome (Canada)

2: Scarface (US)

1: Return Of The Jedi (US)

1984

10: Ghostbusters (US)

9: This Is Spinal Tap (US)

8: Starman (US)

7: Beverly Hills Cop (US)

6: The Karate Kid (US)

5: Gremlins (US)

4: Temple Of Doom (US)

3: Police Academy (US)

2: A Nightmare On Elm Street (US)

1: The Terminator (US)

1985

10: A View To A Kill (UK)

9: Return To Oz (US/UK)

8: Brewster’s Millions (US)

7: Rocky IV (US)

6: Police Academy 2 (US)

5: First Blood Part 2 (US)

4: Day Of The Dead (US)

3: The Goonies (US)

2: Back To The Future (US)

1:  Commando (US)

1986

10: Highlander (UK/US)

9: Stand By Me (US)

8: A Better Tomorrow (HK)

7: Blue Velvet (US)

6: Platoon (US)

5: Police Academy 3 (US)

4: The Fly (US)

3: The Hitcher (US)

2: Big Trouble In Little China (US)

1: Aliens (US)

1987

20: A Chinese Ghost Story (HK)

19: Withnail And I (UK)

18: City On Fire (HK)

17: Planes, Trains, And Automobiles (US)

16: Good Morning, Vietnam (US)

15: The Princess Bride (US)

14: The Living Daylights (UK)

13: Lethal Weapon (US)

12: Full Metal Jacket (US/UK)

11: Evil Dead 2 (US)

10: The Untouchables (US)

9: Hellraiser (UK)

8: The Running Man (US)

7: Dream Warriors (US)

6: Citizens On Patrol (US)

5: Prince Of Darkness (US)

4: Near Dark (US)

3: The Lost Boys (US)

2: Predator (US)

1: Robocop (US)

1988

10: They Live (US)

9: Hellraiser 2 (US/UK)

8: Bloodsport (US)

7: Akira (Japan)

6: Twins (US)

5: Young Guns (US)

4: Heathers (US)

3: Willow (US)

2: Die Hard (US)

1: Beetlejuice. (US)

1989

10: The Killer (HK)

9: Uncle Buck (US)

8: Born On The Fourth Of July (US)

7: Kiki’s Delivery Service (Japan)

6: See No Evil, Hear No Evil (US)

5: Licence To Kill (US/UK)

4: Pet Sematary (US)

3: Back To The Future Part II  (US)

2: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (US)

1: Batman (US)

1990

20: Boiling Point (Japan) Takeshi Kitano

19: La Femme Nikita (France) Luc Besson

18: The Witches (UK/US) Nicholas Roeg

17: Dances With Wolves (US) Kevin Costner

16: Awakenings (US) Penny Marshall

15: The Godfather Part 3 (US) Francis Ford Coppolla

14: Ghost (US) Jerry Zucker

13: Another 48 Hours (US) Walter Hill

12: Misery (US) Rob Reiner

11: Arachnophobia (US) Frank Marshall

10: Kindergarten Cop (US) Ivan Reitman

9: Young Guns II (US) Geoff Murphy

8: Mermaids (US) Richard Benjamin

7: Tremors (US) Ron Underwood

6: Wild At Heart (US) David Lynch

5: Total Recall (US) Paul Verhoeven

4: Home Alone (US) Chris Columbus

3: Goodfellas (US) Martin Scorsese

2: Problem Child (US) Dennis Dugan

1: Edward Scissorhands (US) Tim Burton

1991

10: Drop Dead Fred (US/UK) Ate De Jong

9: Double Impact (US) Sheldon Lettich

8: The Doors (US) Oliver Stone

7: Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (US) Pete Hewitt

6: Thelma And Louise (US) Ridley Scott

5: Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves (US) Kevin Reynolds

4: Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead (US) Stephen Herek

3: The Last Boy Scout (US) Tony Scott

2: Beauty And The Beast (US) Disney

1: Terminator 2 (Top Ten Of All Time) (US) James Cameron

1992

10: Aladdin (US) Disney

9: Universal Soldier (US) Roland Emmerich

8: Bram Stoker’s Dracula (US) Francis Ford Coppola

7: Candyman (US) Bernard Rose

6: My Cousin Vinny (US) Jonathan Lynn

5: Wayne’s World (US) Penelope Spheeris

4: Braindead (NZ) Peter Jackson

3: Reservoir Dogs (US) Quentin Tarantino

2: Fire Walk With Me (US) David Lynch

1: Hard Boiled (HK) John Woo

1993

17: Falling Down (US/France/UK) Joel Schumacher

16: Mrs Doubtfire (US) Chris Columbus

15: Schindler’s List (US) Steven Spielberg

14: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (US) Lasse Hallstrom

13: Cliffhanger (US/France/Italy) Renny Harlin

12: Benny And Joon (US) Jeremiah S Chechik

11: Dazed And Confused (US) Richard Linklater

10: The Vanishing (US) George Sluizer

9: Carlito’s Way (US) Brian De Palma

8: The Nightmare Before Christmas (US) Henry Selick

7: A Perfect World (US) Clint Eastwood

6: Demolition Man (US) Marco Brambilla

5: Last Action Hero (US) John McTiernan

4: Body Snatchers (US) Abel Ferrara

3: True Romance (US) Tony Scott

2: Tombstone (US) George P Cosmatos

1: Jurassic Park (US) Steven Spielberg

1994

20: Little Women (US) Gilliam Armstrong

19: Ace Ventura (US) Tom Shadyac

18: The Mask (US) Charles Russell

17: Stargate (US/France) Roland Emmerich

16: Forrest Gump (US) Robert Zemeckis

15: The Lion King (US Disney)

14: Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein (US/Japan) Kenneth Branagh

13: Timecop (US) Peter Hyams

12: The Shawshank Redemption (US) Frank Darabont

11: Ed Wood (US) Tim Burton

10: Natural Born Killers (US) Oliver Stone

9: Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (US) Wes Craven

8: Clerks (US) Kevin Smith

7: True Lies (US) James Cameron

6: Speed (US) Jan de Bont

5: Pulp Fiction (US) Quentin Tarantino

4: Interview With The Vampire (US) Neil Jordan

3: Leon (France) Luc Besson

2: The Crow (US) Alex Proyas

1: Dumb And Dumber (US)

1995

20: Braveheart (US) Mel Gibson

19: Casino (US) Martin Scorsese

18: Casper (US) Brad Silberling

17: Jumanji (US) Joe Johnston

16: Dangerous Minds (US) John N Smith

15: Strange Days (US) Kathryn Bigelow

14: In The Mouth Of Madness (US) John Carpenter

13: The Last Supper (US) Stacy Title

12: Kids (US) Larry Clark

11: Pocahontas (US) Disney

10: Mortal Kombat (US) Paul W S Anderson

9: Now And Then (US) Lesli Linka Glatter

8: The Doom Generation (US/France) Gregg Araki

7: La Haine (France) Mathieu Kassovitz

6: Die Hard With A Vengeance (US) John McTiernan

5: Heat (US) Michael Mann

4: Mallrats (US) Kevin Smith

3: Desperado (US) Robert Rodriguez

2: Goldeneye (UK) Martin Campbell

1: Things To In Denver When You’re Dead (US)

1996

10: Crash (UK/Canada) David Cronenberg

9: Fly Away Home (Canada/US/NZ) Carroll Ballard

8: Trainspotting (UK) Danny Boyle

7: Breaking The Waves (Denmark) Lars Von Trier

6: The Long Kiss Goodnight (US) Renny Harlin

5: The Craft (US) Andrew Fleming

4: Beavis And Butthead Do America (US) Mike Judge

3: Broken Arrow (US) John Woo

2: From Dusk Till Dawn (US) Robert Rodriguez

1: Scream (US) Wes Craven

1997

20: The Ice Storm (US) Ang Lee

19: Boogie Nights (US) Paul Thomas Anderson

18:  LA Confidential (US) Curtis Hanson

17: Cube (Canada) Vincenzo Natali

16: Princess Mononoke (Japan) Hiyao Miyazaki

15: Grosse Point Blank (US) George Armitage

14: The Postman (US) Kevin Costner

13: Con Air (US) Simon West

12: The Game (US) David Fincher

11: I Know What You Did Last Summer (US) Jim Gillespie

10: Face/Off (US) John Woo

9: Liar Liar (US) Tom Shadyac

8: Life Is Beautiful (Italy) Robert Benigni

7: The Devil’s Advocate (US) Taylor Hackford

6: Donnie Brasco (US) Mike Newell

5: Chasing Amy (US) Kevin Smith

4: Lost Highway (US/France) David Lynch

3: Cop Land (US) James Mangold

2: Starship Troopers (US) Paul Verhoeven

1: The Fifth Element (France) Luc Besson

1998

10: Wild Things (US) John McNaughton

9: The Truman Show (US) Peter Weir

8: Dark City (US/OZ) Alex Proyas

7: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (US) Terry Gilliam

6: Saving Private Ryan (US) Steven Spielberg

5: What Dreams May Come (US) Vincent Ward

4: Fallen (US) Gregory Hoblit

3: Blade (US) Stephen Norrington

2: Ronin (US) John Frankenheimer

1: Ringu (Japan) Hideo Nakata

1999

20: The Sixth Sense (US) M Night Shyamalan

19: Girl, Interrupted (US) James Mangold

18: The Green Mile (US) Frank Darabont

17: Shiri (SK) Kang je Gyu

16: The Iron Giant (US) Brad Bird

15: American Pie (US) Paul Weitz, Chris Weitz

14: Existenz (Canada/UK/France) David Cronenberg

13: Ghost Dog (US/France/Germany/Japan) Jim Jarmusch

12: Music Of The Heart (US) Wes Craven

11: Office Space (US) Mike Judge

10: The Mummy (US) Stephen Sommers

9: Fight Club (US/Germany) David Fincher

8: Man On The Moon (US) Milos Forman

7: Dogma (US) Kevin Smith

6: End Of Days (US) Peter Hyams

5: Audition (Japan) Takashi Miike

4: South Park (US) Trey Parker

3: The Matrix (US/OZ) The Wachowski Brothers

2: The Blair Witch Project (US) Daniel Myrick Eduardo Sanchez

1: Bangkok Dangerous (Thailand) The Pang Brothers

2000

10: Almost Famous. (USA) Cameron Crowe.

9: Gladiator (USA/UK). Ridley Scott.

8: Best In Show (USA). Christopher Guest.

7: Dancer in The Dark (Denmark). Lars Von Trier.

6: Unbreakable (USA). M Night Shyamalan

5: Pitch Black (USA). David Twohy

4: X-Men (USA). Bryan Singer

3: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (China/HK/Taiwan/USA). Ang Lee.

2: Final Destination (USA). James Wong

1: Battle Royale (Japan). Kinji Fukasaku

2001

10: The Majestic (US) Frank Darabont

9: Ichi The Killer (Japan) Takashi Miike

8: Session 9 (US) Brad Anderson

7: The Mummy Returns (US) Stephen Sommers

6: Frailty (US/Germany/Italy) Bill Paxton

5: Bully (US) Larry Clark

4: Visitor Q (Japan) Takashi Miike

3: Mulholland Drive (US/France) David Lynch

2: The Fellowship Of The Ring (NZ/US): Peter Jackson

1: Amelie (France/Germany) Jean Pierre Jeunet

2002

10: City Of God (Brazil) Fernando Meirelles

9: Equilibrium (US) Kurt Wimmer

8: Hero (China) Zhang Yimou

7: Infernal Affairs (HK) Andrew Lau/Alan Mak

6: The Pianist (France/Germany/Poland/UK) Roman Polanski

5: Dark Water (Japan) Hideo Nakata

4: The Eye (HK/Singapore) The Pang Brothers

3: The Twilight Samurai (Japan) Yoji Yamada

2: 28 Days Later (UK) Danny Boyle

1: Sympathy For Mr Vengeance (SK) Chan Wook Park

2003

10: The Dreamers (UK/US/France/Italy) Bernardo Bertolucci

9: Underworld (US/UK/Hungary/Germany) Len Wiseman

8: Kill Bill Vol 1 (US) Quentin Tarantino

7: A Mighty Wind (US) Christopher Guest

6: The Curse of The Black Pearl (US) Gore Verbinski

5: Zatoichi (Japan) Takeshi Kitano

5. Oldboy (SK) Chan Wook Park

4: A Tale Of Two Sisters (SK) Kim Jee Woon

3: Ju On (Japan) Takashi Shimizu

2: The Return Of The King (NZ/US) Peter Jackson

1: X2 (US) Bryan Singer

2004

10: District 13 (France) Pierre Morel

9: A Very Long Engagement (France) Jean Pierre Jeunet

8: R-Point (SK) Kong Su Chang

7: Shaun Of The Dead (UK/US/France) Edgar Wright

6: Spider-Man 2 (US) Sam Raimi

5: House Of Flying Daggers (China/HK) Zhang Yimou

4: Saw (US) James Wan

3: The Grudge (US) Takashi Shimizu

2: Kill Bill Volume 2 (US) Quentin Tarantino

1: Dawn Of The Dead (US) Zach Snyder

2005

10: Land Of The Dead (US) George A Romero

9: Hostel (US) Eli Roth

8: A Bittersweet Life (SK) Kim Jee Woon

7: Sympathy For Lady Vengeance (SK) Chan Wook Park

6: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (US) Shane Black

5: The Descent (UK) Neil Marshall

4: The 40 Year Old Virgin (US) Judd Apatow

3: Revenge Of The Sith (US) George Lucas

2: Sin City (US) Frank Miller/Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino

1: Batman Begins (US/UK) Christopher Nolan

2006

10: Paprika (Japan) Satoshi Kon

9: The Host (SK) Joon-ho Bong

8: Death Note (Japan) Shusuke Kaneko

7: Idiocracy (US) Mike Judge

6: Children Of Men (US/UK) Alfonso Cuaron/Pan’s Labyrinth Guillermo Del Toro.

5: The Hills Have Eyes (US) Alexandre Aja

4: The Departed (US) Martin Scorsese

3: Apocalypto (US/Mexico) Mel Gibson

2: Borat (US/UK) Larry Charles

1: Casino Royale (US/UK/Czech/Germany) Martin Campbell

2007

10: Black Snake Moan (US) Craig Brewer

9: Sweeny Todd (US/UK) Tim Burton

8: Grindhouse (US) Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino

7: Angel-A (France) Luc Besson

6: 30 Days Of Night (US) David Slade

5: Paranormal Activity (US) Oren Peli

4: 28 Weeks Later (UK/Spain) Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

3: The Mist (US) Frank Darabont

2: Enchanted (US) Kevin Lima

1: Rec (Spain) Jaume Balaguero/Paco Plaza

2008

10: Johnny Mad Dog (France/Liberia) Jean-Stephane Sauvaire

9: Pontypool (Canada) Bruce McDonald

8: Cloverfield (US) Matt Reeves

7: Rambo (US/Thailand) Sylvester Stallone

6: Ip Man (HK) Wilson Yip

5: Let The Right One In (Sweden) Tomas Alfredson

4: Departures (Japan) Yojiro Takita

3: Martyrs (France) Pascal Laugier

2: The Dark Knight (US/UK) Christopher Nolan

1: Love Exposure (Japan) Sion Sono

2009

10: Dead Snow (Norway) Tommy Wirkola

9: The Princess And The Frog (US) Disney

8: Micmacs (France) Jean Pierre Jeunet

7: Jennifer’s Body (US) Karyn Kusama

6: Antichrist (Denmark/France/Germany/Italy/Poland/Sweden) Lars Von Trier

5: Trick R Treat (US/Canada) Michael Dougherty

4: Triangle (UK/OZ) Christopher Smith

3: Inglourious Basterds (US/Germany) Quentin Tarantino

2: Drag Me To Hell (US) Sam Raimi

1: Orphan (US/Canada/Germany/France) Jaume Collet Serra

2010

11. Inception

10. Kick-ass

9. The Expendables

8. Kaboom!

7. Tangled

6. Ip Man 2

5. The Last Exorcism

4. Bedevilled

3. Stake Land

2. Paranormal Activity 2

  1. I Saw The Devil

Enjoy!

Nightman Listens To – Charles Mingus – Black Saint And The Sinner Lady (Top 1000 Albums Series)!

Oh man. It wasn’t enough to have a Ray Charles Jazz album last time around, but now we follow it up with what I can only guess is another Jazz album. Most of my knowledge of Charles Mingus comes from his work with and influence on Joni Mitchell, an influence to my mind which turned Joni Mitchell from a unique and wonderful folk performer and writer to just another jazz noise disturbance. I don’t know much about Mingus as an artist, but I’m going to assume this is going to be highly experimental, there’s going to be trumpets, and I’m not going to like it. Open your mind, Nightman, open your mind!

The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady by Charles Mingus - Fonts In Use

What Do I Know About Charles Mingus: He was a jazz guy, experimental, and worked with Joni Mitchell and others.

What Do I Know About The Black Saint & The Sinner Lady: Nada.

Oh man, look at the album cover. Is it a dude parping on a brass? Is he merely kicking back and enjoying a pipe? Is he in prison? In which case, why is he dressed in the blue of a comfortably numb Secondary School English teacher? Is that is hair, or is it one of those Russian hats that movies have told me Russians wear? Wikipedia tells me it’s a forty minute album – so hopefully shouldn’t hurt too much, but it’s a single composition split into four tracks… interesting? Lets just get on with it.

Solo Dancer: Look, I’ll be honest. It’s going to be difficult for me to actually add anything of worth in this review. I’ve listened to the album in full a few times now, but still the best I can do to differentiate each of the four tracks is to say that one is long, one starts with piano, and the other two are a bunch of trumpet waffling. I lack the musical expertise to break down any real differences and I lack the willpower to give a shit about music which feels so empty and bland to my ears.

This is the opening trumpet waffle. Try as I might to get into it, to feel the groove, to enjoy the faffing about, to appreciate the artistry and creative fuel behind it, I just can’t. Jazz is not for me. You could play me a hundred pieces by a hundred geniuses, and they’d all sound like the amateurish ravings of a drunk you picked up a horn for the first time.

Duete Solo Dancers: It’s just so dull. I’m sure the guys playing are having an absolute fucking blast. But this music feels like a relic of another world. A dead world. A world which found newer, better forms of music and passed the fuck on leaving all this muck in the past where it belongs. There’s a wailing bit. There’s a faster bit which also wails and depresses. There’s a slow bit which is worse, and which wails and moans. There’s some amusement to be found near the end where some of the horns sound like a monster trying to speak.

Group Dancers: This one at least feels different. It’s more than just horn parps. It has piano clangs too. It has flute or something. It seems Eastern inspired. It’s the amazing sounds of orgy. It still goes round and round without saying anything. It’s still as vapid and emotion free as the others.

Medley: This one throws in some guitars too. Spanish guitars. That was a nice break from all the trumpets, but none of it is particularly interesting. It’s the sort of thing anyone can play after a few lessons and just bashes out while you’re waiting for the bass player to stop fingering his girlfriend and get back to practice. Elsewhere, it’s more horrible, chaotic, tuneless noise.

What Did I Think: It’s never good when I feel like I need a lie down after a single track. There’s four of those tracks here, and one of them is almost 20 minutes long. There’s barely a note of difference between any of them. Regardless of the inspiration behind it all and how capable the musicians actually are, it’s so empty. There’s nothing interesting, there’s not a melody to be found, and each track is as haphazard and soulless as a talentless jam session. It’s music with absolutely nothing to say and in terms of my personal enjoyment as a listener who admittedly places melody and emotion above all other things, it was a slog to get through once, never mind multiple additional times as I hoped for a revelation. If Jazz is only for cultured types, then oil me up and call me a Love Island watching, chip eating lounge lizard.

Does It Deserve Its Place In The Top 1000 Albums Of All Time: Are you insane? It didn’t even deserve to be recorded in the first place. If there was ever an album which did not deserve to be on this list, it’s this one. An abject horror show.

Well, that’s another jazz masterpiece checked off the list and I’ve already forgotten what any of it sounds like beyond the after-trace revulsion I continue to feel whenever I hear a brief snippet of trumpet coming across the airwaves once upon a night sky. I read some of the bewildering five star reviews of the album and can only conclude that everyone is insane apart from me – and I’m this craziest kid this side of camel town.

Nightman’s Least Favourite Movies Of 1985!

Legend (1985) — The Forgetful Film Critic

Ewoks: Battle For Endor

I quite enjoyed this one when I was young – Jedi was always my favourite Star Wars movie and this was another furry adventure. Watching it as an adult now, it’s pretty bad.

Friday The 13th: A New Beginning

The Friday The 13th series was never my thing growing up – I was more into Elm Street and Halloween. As part of an October marathon a few years ago, I finally went back to watch all the sequels and none of them are especially good. There’s barely a unique idea between them and each boils down to knifey knifey stab time. At least a few of the sequels went for some continuity, including this one which continues the Tommy Jarvis story – the survivor of a previous massacre now in an asylum of some sort. It’s not bad, it’s just by the numbers, cheap slasher fun – worth seeing once and instantly forgetting.

Legend

This is a bit of a cult favourite for many, presumably due to Tim Curry and that crazy make-up. But it doesn’t make a lick of sense, most of the performances are bad, and it seems to be Ridley Scott channelling Michael Mann via Michael Bay. A genuinely poor film all around.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

The weakest of the original trilogy, and of the entire series, Thunderdome feels at once too commercial and too empty. It has that same sense of barrenness as the first film, but there’s no emotional core of genuine weirdness. It’s more like a glossy approximation of weirdness. Still, it has some swinging about inside a big dome, but it’s a huge step down from The Road Warrior. 

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

A strange one because it’s both one of the more interesting sequels in the franchise, but also one of the worst. I like what the story tries to do, but it’s very cheap, the acting isn’t of the highest calibre, and it’s as camp as a charred sausage on a five dollar portable bbq. No scares and some of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever witnessed in horror.

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

I get that this is some sort of American export or hero or whatever, but for those of us who were not weened on such shite, this is barely more than an abomination of Babylon standards. An embarrassment for all involved.

Prizzi’s Honour

A hugely talented director and an impressive cast at the top of their game – somehow come together to make one of the more dull mafia/comedy movies of the era. I’ll be in the minority on this one, but I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Red Sonja

It’s Conan, but not really. It seems, sort of, like a brave move to make a female led sword and fantasy movie in a time when all action movies were highly masculine and muscle-bound affairs. So it’s got that going for it. Sadly, the execution is a failure and the result is on par with Conan The Destroyer as a forgettable slice of sword-swinging nonsense. Arnie and Sandahl Bergman are reunited, but they’re secondary to Brigitte Nielsen in a case of amateur acting and attempts use the English language. That’s fine – what isn’t is the lack of action and mayhem, a very watered down vision of a world where magic and might are supposed to be master.

A Room With A View

I can’t stand any of these Merchant Ivory movies – they’re all equally dreary and overwrought, with the same kinds of stories played out with the same dull tone by the same kinds of actors. Stick with the source material any time you see Merchant or Ivory attached to a film, and avoid at all costs unless you’re a fan of slowly observing your life ebbing away.

Let us know in the comments what your least favourite movies of 1985 are!

The Best UK Top 10 Of The 90s Chart Poll – Groups 19 – 28

File:Totp logo 1998.svg - Wikimedia Commons

I know, it’s already been one day and I’ve already missed a post. But my intention was never to post daily on this – it’s just that the groups disappear after every 24 hours and therefore I have to wait for weeks for them to come around again for me to be able to post about them. Therefore, I’m adding the Groups to the post title so that I can easily check which groups I’ve missed.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about – check this link for my first post in the series. Lets see what today has in store.

Group 19

The Verve – Lucky Man: I’ve tried to like this over the years, due to liking other songs by the band, but it’s significantly bland. I don’t dislike it, but it’s meh.

Arnee And The Terminators – I’ll Be Back: Should I know what this is, given the first two Terminator movies are my favourite movies ever? Lets give it a blast on Youtube and see if I remember. No, I can safely say wiped this from my memory banks if I ever heard it at all. It’s a mess of shouty talking in a terrible accent with a throbbing synth, gunshots, laser sirens, and some guy shouting ‘Uzi 9mm’ every few seconds. Horrendous.

Fatboy Slim – Rockerfeller Skank: I mentioned not liking Fatboy Slim before. This is one of the reasons why. Can’t. Stand. This. Montrosity.

Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe: An absolute banger. It’s bad, obviously, but it’s also so good. Arguably the best of the dance oriented one hit wonders of the decade. My group winner.

Group 20

Ginuwine – When Doves Cry: I don’t know who or what this is. Is it a Prince cover? I can’t really remember the Prince song, but I’m guessing this is a cover. In any case, this is mostly poor. Solid beat, but nothing.

Fresh Price & Jazzy Jeff – Summertime: Not a huge fan of this one, but it’s cool. My group winner.

Michelle Gayle – Do You Know: Do you know I’m old enough to remember Michelle Gayle from Eastenders. She had a few big hits in the 90s, but I have no memory of this. Pretty boring.

Damage – Love Guarantee: Never heard of this artist or song. Seems to be another boy band, but they must not have been very big. Sounds like the sort of nonsense they would have as a special guest on Sister Sister. Complete by the numbers Boy Band junk.

Group 21

Kim Syms – Too Blind To See It: Jesus. This is clearly an 80s song dressed up in 90s sheen. Except it’s not even dressed up, the video and the fashion, the editing, everything screams Stock Aitken Waterman badness. Garish. Awful. The girl can sing, but the song is terrible.

Meatloaf – Bat Out Of Hell: What is this doing here? The album was re-released in the 90s, right. Looks like the single was too. My group winner.

Sinead O Connor – Nothing Compares 2U: Wasn’t this an 80s song? Or was it re-released. In any case, I’ve always despised this song. I hate it so much. Never understood the overwhelming praise it gets.

Bee Gees – For Whom The Bell Tolls: It’s not Metallica, but it’s not bad.

Group 22

N Trance Ft Rod Stewart – Do Ya Think I’m Sexy. The original was bad enough. Give it to some dance act and watch it become much worse. Listening again now, it’s actually not that bad.

Sash – La Primavera – I liked a few Sash tracks. They seemed to be one of the few dance acts who knew the value of melody and could actually make a decent tune. This was never one of my favourites and is quite tame, but it does have a nostalgia factor coupled with the Spanish element which I also enjoy. The horns are laughably cheap and sound like an early 90s MIDI videogame celebration jingle. That thing where I hate Jamaican accents in music, especially when it’s done by an English white guy? It’s the opposite when we’re talking about Spain – I like Spanish elements and vocals in my songs.

Cher – One By One: This doesn’t ring a bell, in name or in sound. Oh, hold on. Ah yes, I do remember this now the vocals have started. Yeah, I quite like this but had forgotten it ever existed, probably because it doesn’t have many peaks or anything interesting going on.

Leann Rimes – How Do I Live: There was no escaping this song in the 90s, and it still gets regular rotation these days. It’s a big powerful ballad, well sung. My group winner. 

Group 23

Bryan Adams – Please Forgive Me: Did I cover this in my Bryan Adams posts? Can’t remember. I’ve always liked this one. My group winner.

S Club 7 – Two In A Million: S Club 7, that boy/girl band hybrid featuring a horrible racist and some other people you can’t remember. They were the next big thing after Spice Girls – battling against Steps for supremacy in the charts. I don’t remember ever hearing this and it’s almost identical to that Damage song up above.

PF Project Ft Ewan McGregor – Choose Life: Look, I love Trainspotting. One of the best movies of the 90s. But the soundtrack has also has been terrible. This song was absolutely everywhere in the 90s – the club clubs, the Indie clubs, and I couldn’t deal with it. Listening now, it’s better than most of the dance hits of the 90s, slightly manic given the McGregor quotes, but it’s repetitive as fuck.

Lolly – Viva La Radio: Now this one could be interesting. I have the slightest gnawing recollection about this, but if you asked me right now to hum a piece of it I couldn’t. I suspect when I listen it’ll come flooding back. I can picture it rather than hear it. Lets see… wait. Did she have another song? This sound somewhat familiar, in the chorus at least, but it’s not what I was expecting. In other news though – how did this get made? Who listened to this person sing and thought ‘there’s a voice the world needs to hear’? It’s very bad, but it’s funny in how shamelessly confidently bad it is is. There’s a lot going on in the song too. What a weird mess.

Group 24

SWV – Right Here: I don’t know what SWV is, or means. Stevie Weigh Vaughn? Ah right, I remember this. I hated this at the time because it does that thing where they take one of the most annoying pieces from a Michael Jackson song and playing it over and over and over and over. Someone did that recently with ABC, right? The rest of the song is pretty badly performed too, going out of tune in many places.

Whigfield – Saturday Night: Another contender for best Dance based One Hit Wonder of the 90s. It’s a bit of a banger, and all us pre-pubescent boys had a thing for her. My group winner.

Garbage – Stupid Girl: This was their biggest hit, right? I like it enough, but I was never wowed by it or them like other people were.

Utah Saints – Believe In Me: The group name is familiar, but I couldn’t tell you what they did. It’s another cheap dance song. I get that the technology was new and basic and that explains how cheap and dated it sounds, but as with much of this ilk it’s all so repetitive that you can listen to any 30 seconds and get the same effect and value as listening to either any other 30 seconds or the entire track. There’s a piano bit in the middle which gives us a break for a few seconds. Great if it was influential like, but lets not pretend it’s any good.

Group 25

Elton & Pavarotti – Live Like Horses: I don’t remember this pair ever being a thing. Listening to it now. Was it for a movie? Was it an original? It sounds like it’s ripped from a bad musical – but then this is Elton John we’re talking about. Pavarotti gives it a different flavour. The song’s somewhat emotive and atmospheric and I’m surprised I’ve never heard it before. I’m no Elton John fan, but this is more enjoyable than most of the stuff I know by him.

Eminem – My Name Is: It took me a while to get on board with Eminem when he first arrived, but by the time this came around I was a minor fan. Then I heard his other stuff and got the Marshall Mathers LP and saw it for the masterpiece it obviously is. This is a fun, silly song, not one of my favourites, but still better than most of what was in the charts back then. My group winner.

Mark Morrison – Horny: I couldn’t have told you another Mark Morrison outside of Return Of The Mack. Listening to this now, I have heard it before, but everything about it is low tier badness. Why does he sing like that? Why do the women in the chorus sing like that? Why do the drums sound so flat and weak, and why have they not improved in music since the 90s? It’s another forgettable song about sex marketed at pre teens. Nice.

2 Unlimited – Tribal Dance: I knew they’d done another song outside of No Limit. This must be it, lets see. Does anyone else want to shout MORTAL KOMBAT after the intro? I do remember this. It doesn’t have the impact of No Limit, but it’s the same sort of thing. The chorus isn’t strong enough, but it’s fine as far as 90s dance music goes.

Group 26

Temptations – My Girl: What’s this doing here? Because of the My Girl movie I assume. I always preferred the Michael Jackson version, but there’s no doubting this is a classic. My Group Winner.

Mariah Carey – Open Arms: Back before Carey was a bin lid she used to make decent songs. This isn’t one of her best, but it’s still good.

Tori Amos – Cornflake Girl: Tori had less impactful hits for me after Little Earthquakes, but this was one of her biggest. I can’t say I was ever the biggest fan of this particular song, especially when the album contains Baker Baker and Past The Mission. But it’s good, and it’s Tori, so it’s win win.

Ali Campbell – That Look In Your Eye: UB40 are maybe the band I hate most. They’ve never made a single song I could tolerate for more than ten seconds, let alone enjoy, and they just would not get off the TV in the 90s. It seems the main guy had a solo career too. I have blotted this from my memory, but I have heard it. There’s a woman in the mix here too. It’s a very weak ballad which is instantly forgettable – it doesn’t highlight the worst of UB40s shtick, but it still has Campbell atrocious vocals. Whoever the woman is – very poor too, with many notes being fumbled, mumbled, and flat. Noticeably poor production too.

Group 27

Boyzone – Coming Home Now: Boyzone were the Irish Take That. Equally bad, yet also worse. Notable for Ronan Keating’s unique warbling, there was also a duck-billed platybus looking dude who sang like a drunk sheep, a guy with tatoos, a guy with a beard, an possibly another guy. Naturally, they’ve sold billions. I don’t remember this one. Listening now – you already now; standard, bland boy band shite, slow, cheap, cookie cutter. Unbelievably bad.

Blur – Boys And Girls: One of their biggest early hits, this was of course a hallmark of Britpop. I wasn’t a huge supporter, but it’s fine. My group winner.

Take That Ft Lulu – Relight My Fire: As much as Take That brought great musical evils into this world, they’ve also had a few decent, maybe even good songs too – which is more than we can say for almost every other boy and girl band. This is one of the better ones. It’s a cover, but they give it a bit of oomph, or what passes for oomph where boy bands are concerned, and Lulu throws her back into it.

Kim Appleby – Don’t Worry: Name doesn’t ring any bells so I’m going to say it’s another one hit wonder. It’s the worst of 80s pop re-packaged as a 90s song. A complete nothing.

Group 28

2Pac Ft Dre – California Love: Just listen to the difference in quality in production of this and, well, every other song on this list. But particularly the British pop stuff. There’s no comparison. This sounds like a song released today. The other stuff sounds like it was recorded by children with a V-tech microphone. This is as good as it ever was, and it was always pretty damn good.

Whitney Houston – It’s Not Right: I could have sworn this was a Noughties song, but there you go. I never liked it and came at the time when Whitney had already jumped the shark. Whitney is undoubtedly one of the greatest singers of all time, but most of her songs were beneath her – this is nowhere near potent enough. Good production but also very weak. This should have been an anthem, so where’s the power? Where’s the RAGE. It’s a song I should fell, but I just don’t.

Blondie – Maria: This was a big thing when it was released – Blondie’s back everyone! It lasted for a few months and Blondie was quickly no more again, but for a brief while suddenly everyone was a Blondie fan. It was weird. It’s a good song – it hasn’t aged too well and sounds less energetic and interesting now than it did then, but still good.

DJ Jean – The Launch: This is dreadful by any measure. I don’t think I’ve heard it before. It’s little more than the same descending double four notes played over and over, with a change in the beat every so often. This is a thing. This exists. Someone thought it was good. Enough people spent money on it that it became a UK top ten hit. Think about that.

Not the greatest batch of songs today, but a few drunken singalongs to be sure. That’s probably going to be the case most days. No standout songs for me today though.