Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!
Hmm, a new Kevin Smith movie, I haven’t heard about this. Will it return to his comedy roots or follow his recent horror renaissance? Oz! It certainly doesn’t look like a Kevin Smith movie. Ominous shots. Arggh, axes! Multiple holidays mentioned. Is this an anthology of shorts of sorts? Aaaah, okay, multiple directors. Looks interesting and sems to follow in the footsteps of ABCs Of Death, VHS etc.
Things To Know: Yes, it is an anthology horror film based around different holidays – Christmas, St Paddy’s etc. Rather like John Carpenter intended for the Halloween series initially.
Whos To Know: Directed by the likes of Kevin Smith, Gary Shore, Scott Stuart, and featuring a cast of people I’ve never heard of, led by Seth Green. Oz.
The Conjuring 2
You know, I still haven’t watched the first one. I’ve had it since it was released, but I simply haven’t felt the need to watch it yet, even though I like the trailer. And of course now the sequel is coming and this trailer may be spoiler filled or not mean a lot to me. I’ll watch the first one soon, promise. Spooky voices. Set in England. Looks decent again, but horror films often make the most deceptive trailers – a little bit of darkness, a couple of jump scares, some screaming, easy. Doesn’t mean the film will be any good. Still, this is better than most and I like the people involved. Not sure I’ll get the chance to see this at the cinema, but looks like one to enjoy in a packed, dark room.
Things To Know: The paranormal investigators from the first movie set off to England to help a family under attack by the Enfield Poltergeist – one of the most famous of all recorded hauntings.
Whos To Know: Directed by James Wan (Saw) and starring Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga.
I liked the original short as much as anyone – a very simple idea made as creepy and effective as possible. But the whole fact that a movie has been made from this idea stinks of a ridiculous scam and lack of ideas in Hollywood – then again they know we’ll come see it in our droves, whatever that means. I’ll wait until this comes to streaming, but before i discredit it completely, lets actually watch the trailer. I mean, the idea is still sound and an intelligent filmmaker should be able to get plenty of tension and scares from it, but I’m skeptical about the plot and how it can last over the running time of a movie. Obviously the film will have to have a bit more to it. It feels a little like a more frantic version of It Follows. And now they’re answering my question by showing a whole back story so we pretty much know how the entire film will go. Maybe there’ll be a few twists. Yeah, I’ll see it at some point, but it seems pretty generic.
Things To Know: Based of the 2013 short of the same name, this follows a family stalked by a ghostly presence that can only be seen when the lights are out.
Whos To Know: Directed by the guy who made the short, David F Sandberg – presumably he had to fight to be allowed to direct the movie. With such a small budget it’s bound to make plenty of money. Oh yeah, Maria Bello and Teresa Palmer are in it.
Jane Wants A Boyfriend
Now, here’s one I’ve never even heard of. Horror music bit. Possible movie obsessed recluse (aren’t we all). Faith! Lots of Buffy people about today. Now it’s a drama. Now it’s a comedy. So they’re taking the quirky elements of certain Deschanel and Cera movies and replacing them with actual real life mental illness. I can’t quite tell if this is going to be fluffy, light romantic comedy stuff, or horribly offensive. Either way, can’t say I’ll ever watch this one.
Things To Know: Hmm, turns out this was actually released (limited) last year, so where have I been? It’s as the trailer suggests – a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome wants a boyfriend.
Whos To Know: Directed by William Sullivan, and starring Louisa Krause and Eliza Dushku.
The Lego Batman Movie Teaser 2
The guy sounds like the guy from the Eminem albums. Anyway, it’s another trailer for Lego Batman, again with a skit at the start, this time focusing on Batman’s relationship with his family and butler. More funny jokes. Presumably a lot of this stuff won’t be in the actual movie.
Me Before You
Another I’ve never heard of. Another I’ll never see. Heartwarming romantic comedy where a couple destined to be together must overcome a ridiculous obstacle. So Daenerys finally meets Tywin. Absolutely nothing you haven’t seen before it seems. Awful, from the Nicholas Sparks poster to the twee fucking song.
Things To Know: Watching this will wipe away your IQ.
Whos To Know: Emilia, Charles, Sam, Thea, blah.
I’ve never played the game. I don’t really know much about it. I was big into Warhammer though when I was young, and the impression I got from Warcraft is that it stole the good ideas and then gave it a mass appeal. This looks pretty poor, from the over the top and crap looking CG to the generic words and apparent plot. Decent cast though.
Things To Know: Based off the hugely successful game. That always works out well for movies.
Whos To Know: Directed by Duncan Jones (Moon, Source Code) so maybe there’s hope, and starring Ben Foster, Travis Fimmel, Clancy Brown, and many more.
That’s enough for one day. Let us know in the comments which, if any, you’re looking forward to!