Underworld: Secksy Becksy!

Ever since Buffy came along and made everything cool again we have had an influx of three separate related things: 1. Movies starring a strong, independent female kick ass character (Aliens, Valley of The Dolls, Underworld). 2. Cool vampire movies with cool characters and cool vampires (Blade, Razor Blade Smile, Underworld). 3. Movies and shows which blend horror and comedy creating what I call ‘Hilarious Screamers’, such as Scream, Ugly Betty, and Underworld. Now, underworld is slightly different in that is disbands the humour and plays everything very straight laced (and leather clad). Most hilarious screamers aren’t very funny anyway and it is probably a good idea that this is more like an action drama horror. Everything is dark and cool, rainy and gloomy, blue and atmospheric.

Kip Beckinsale plays a vampire who has been at war with Werewolves (the technical terms is lichen) for centuries- since the time of The Vikings and when there used to be Greeks. She is one of many, working day and night (apart from day time) to stop the war boiling over into human land. One day a man is accidentally bitten by a werewolf and will turn in a few days. However, there is something special about his blood or something and he is able to waken an ancient vampire monster who will end the world. The plot was very complexicated and I can’t really remember too much. To be honest I was too busy googling at Baxendale’s chests in her leather. The story never really matters in films anyway, as long as there are plenty of guns and killing, and perhaps some excitements then it is a classic masterpiece. There is lots of action here, with guns, steaks, vampire vs werewolf fights, chases etc. The graphics are very nice too, better than the computer game. Beckinsdale is a good vampire, but I think that Buffy would beat her up in a normal fight. She is only a normal vampire with ordinary powers, and considering Buffy has beaten The Master, Dracula, Glory (a God!) and hundreds of uber-vamps, I don’t think Becks would have a chance. She does have lots of guns though, but in a straight fight that would be cheating. Overall this is a nice film to watch after a Sunday roast- just don’t have too much garlic or the TV might switch itself off! Incrementally, the film is named after the knicker making factory from Coronation Street- The Director’s favourite show!

Best Scene: I liked the way Backonsale jumped off rooftops onto the streets below. This is something I also enjoy- roaming the streets in the moonlight, climbing up onto Church steeples and watching the world go by underneath. Sometimes I dress up like her too.