The Lifeguard

life

It’s fine, I’ll admit it. I only watched this because the poster was of Kristen Bell in a swimsuit. Now, before you go thinking I’m some perverted pervert – I like Kristen Bell as an actor – I’ve always liked her performances, even if she has had a knack for appearing in less than good movies. The synopsis sounded interesting enough – a twenty something woman has something of a mid-life crisis and returns to her home town to become a lifeguard in her local town – something simple for a late night watch and maybe a showcase for Bell.

The film isn’t a mess – the performances are solid and it feels like a coming of age film about someone who already came of age. But there are problems – if you’ve seen any Indie, Sundance style dramas in your time then you’ll know what you’re in for – pretentious direction without achieving anything to deserve directing in such a way and the aimless soul-searching of characters you wouldn’t want to meet down a bright alley. We never get to grips with why Bell’s Leigh makes the decision (s) she does – something about a relationship breaking down and not being taken seriously as a journalist, which all leads her to moving back in with her parents, taking a dead-end job, meeting up with her old school friends, and most controversially, beginning a sexual relationship with a minor. It wasn’t immediately apparent to me if the kid was 18, or 17, or 21 or whatever, but apparently he is underage. So, we have a love story based around statutory rape, which is rarely a good starting point for a movie which wants us to sympathize with the rapist.

But putting that aside, it feels like a Gen X slacker movie – a sub genre I have a lot of fondness for, but without any of the authenticity, emotion or humour I would expect. It drifts along from A to B, ending as it starts with resolutions made but little learned. The director has the gall to film numerous scenes like a music video, complete with the most bland indie rock drivel you could imagine, and it all serves little purpose. There are a couple of decent moments which should have been focal points – one side character kills themselves and while this acts as a catalyst for later events, the actual death feels glossed over and a necessary device to get the film over its major hurdle and over the finish line. It’s a shame because Bell is always and engaging presence and the rest of the cast is peppered with familiar faces doing the best they can. It’s a shame it all amounts to nothing.

Let us know in the comments if you have seen The Lifeguard!

Walk Of Fame Inductees -November 2016

To check the dubious reasoning behind these posts, check the original here:

https://carlosnightman.wordpress.com/2015/05/14/walk-of-fame-a-celebration-of-heroism/

In this new series of posts I’ll be selecting a Star at random from every decade (who was born in that decade) starting from the 1880s up until the 1990s to be interred in this land of magic and wonder, who will for ever more see their name set in stone far beyond the places where Gods dare to tread. Each name will have a unique star placed and statue built-in their honour. Often accompanying these additions will be news of a new store or museum to go alongside those stars whose work is of particular genius, and you too can visit and see the place of your dreams, simply by closing your eyes….

1880s: Claude Rains: For contributions to Cinema, Television, and Theatre.

Actor Claude Rains

The British born Rains started his career on stage in London where his performances drew interest from Broadway. Thanks to a distinctive voice and knack for character acting, Rains soon became an in demand star and picked up four Oscar nominations while appearing in some of Cinema’s most iconic films. He is remembered for works including Mr Smith Goes To Washington, Casablanca, and The Invisible Man. 

1890s: Lillian Gish: For contributions to Cinema, Television, and Theatre.

annex-gish-lillian_10

Lillian Gish is one one of the most important performers to ever appear on screen and is generally considered one of the best actresses of all time. With a career spanning over 70 years, Gish met and grew up with Mary Pickford and joined travelling theatre groups. Before long she was the biggest star in silent films and though her success never reached the same heights when sound came along, she nevertheless was nominated for an Oscar later in her career, as well as picking up an Honourary Award. She is remembered for works including The Birth Of A Nation, The Night Of The Hunter, and Duel In The Sun. 

1900s: Daryl F Zanuck: For contributions to Cinema.

mte5ndg0mdu1mtc0mdiynjcx

Another one of the most important Producers and executives in Cinema’s early days, Zanuck was responsible for the creation of 20th Century/20th Century Fox. During WWII he enlisted as a Colonel and demanded more involvement than what other stars were getting, while also making propaganda movies and ensuring that the performers in his studios were helping out. He is remembered for works such as The Grapes Of Wrath, All About Eve, and The Longest Day. 

1910s: Cantinflas: For contributions to Cinema, Television, and Theatre.

ae85308baed7e11188101de3d048a55c

The premier start to emerge from Mexico in Cinema’s early days, Cantinflas started out as a dancer and pseudo-circus type entertainer before landing early screen roles. Before long he was a hit in Latin America, but didn’t make his first North American movie until the 1950s. He is remembered for works including Around The World In 80 Days, Pepe, and Neither Blood Nor Sand.

1920s: Peter Lawford: For contributions to Cinema and Television.

peter-lawford

Born into aristocracy and a military family, Lawford decided to be an actor after a childhood injury made military service unlikely. Escaping his family he finally made his major film debut to roaring reviews and thus began a long career which saw him joining the Brat Pack, becoming JFK’s brother in law, and appearing in many notable films and shows. He is remembered for works such as The Canterville Ghost, Little Women, and Ocean’s Eleven. 

1930s: Alan Alda: For contributions to Cinema, Television, and Theatre.

000aaaaaaaaalda-1

The son of veteran actor Robert Alda, Alan followed in his father’s footsteps and went on to earn multiple Emmy, Golden Globe, BAFTA, and Oscar nominations as a performer, as well as writing and directing. He is known for works including M*A*S*H, The Aviator, and The West Wing. 

1940s: Joe Mantegna: For contributions to Cinema, Television, and Theatre.

download

Known widely for his voice work as well as his stage and screen performances, Mantegna has been the voice of Fat Tony in The Simpsons for decades while also maintaining a big screen presence in comic and dramatic roles. He is known for works such as The Godfather III, Criminal Minds, and Three Amigos!

1950s: Jimmy Smits: For contributions to Cinema and Television.

download-1

One of the most famous and popular Latino actors in America, Smits has given acclaimed performances in some of the most significant TV shows in US history, as well as appearing in a number of notable movies. He is known for works such as NYPD Blue, LA Law, and The Star Wars Series.

1960s: Steve Carell: For contributions to Cinema and Television.

carell

Carell was always interested in comedy and writing and though he appeared in a few movies and shows in his early career it wasn’t until his 40s that he began getting noticed on a wider basis. Since then he has become one of the world’s most popular comedy performers while also branching out into more dramatic roles to great success. He is known for works including The Despicable Me Series, The 40 Year Old Virgin, and Foxcatcher. 

1970s: Nia Long: For contributions to Cinema and Television.

600full-nia-long

Long started out as a teen actress for Disney before forging a long and respected television and movie career in light and serious roles. She is known for works such as Boyz N The Hood, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, and Third Watch. 

1980s: Kristen Bell: For contributions to Cinema, Music, Theatre, and Television.

kristen-bell

Every nerdy fanboy’s favourite girl next door, Kristen Bell is one of the most intelligent and successful performers working today. Bell featured in school drama shows before ending up on Broadway at a young age. It wasn’t long before her performances led to movie and TV roles where she became a star in her own right – her vocal performances just as notable as her on screen spots. She is known for roles including Veronica Mars, Frozen, and Gossip Girl. 

1990sPaloma Kwiatkowski: For contributions to Cinema and Television.

i3k8cxwv

Kwiatkowski is one of Canada’s most promising upcoming actors thanks to a string of notable performances in prominent movies and shows. She is known for works such as The Percy Jackson Series, Bates Motel, and Who’s Driving Doug. 

In addition to the statues and stars erected for the people above, the following attractions have been created:

In honour of Kristen Bell, the Disney’s Frozen Arendelle Experience has been unveiled: Come and visit a fully realized construction of the Kingdom Of Arendelle, with fjords, mountains, towns, and palaces from the movie all erected for you to visit. With state of the art weather technology, each 24 hours in Arendelle is different with sudden snowstorms changing the landscape into a winter wonderland in moments only for the next day to be baked in the summer sun.

In honour of Lillian Gish, the Lillian Gish School Of Performing Arts has been unveiled: Enroll in this school and get some of the best education in drama and music across the known galaxies with a special focus on the works of Gish used in teaching.

Which attractions would you like to see being created in honour of any of the people above or the movies and shows they have been involved in? Let us know in the comments!