Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom- Crack That Whip! Liquorice Whip!

‘Save me Indiana, your our only hope!’ comes the eternal line from this Lucas classic. Dr Jones has been in 19th Century China for the weekend in search the famed Diamond of Chung –Sh- g’Argolarath. After an exciting chase through downtown somewhere Indy and his trusty companion Skid-Mark escape to a plane. Unbeknownst to them though, the plane belongs to Hitler and they are in for ein bumpy ride. Also unbeknownst to them, they know that Willy Fog- an ex of Indianopolis has stowed away on the plane also as well. Once the pilots have reached 300 feet (known in nautical terms as Terminal Velocity) they parachute out leaving the trio to plummet to their deaths. Indy and Diddy-Kong search the plane but unfortunately find there are only ‘four more parachutes!’ As there are four parachutes and 3 people this proves to be too confusing a mathemagical conundrum for them and they crash into the earth, dead.

Awaking in the afterlife they find that they are stranded in a crazy nether region full of ‘vampiric’ bats and Induans. Dr. Johns sees this as a valuable archaeological study- if he can somehow bring himself back to life with some proof of this city of the afterlife then he will be a millionaire. Indy, Willy, and Side-Kick find a mountain village where all the children have been kidnapped or eaten by an evil sect of demons. They stole some precious God stones from the village elders and have been powerful freaks ever since. They plead with Indy to rescue the children and the stones, and in return they will send the gang back to Earth in time for supper. Soon they find themselves in a palace type fortress full of lovely food such as Monkey’s filled with snakes, snakes filled with monkeys, monkey’s filled with skunkies, and of course staples. Everything looks normal, or as normal as it can be for being a unique tomb of the abnormal. They investigate further and find a slave trade, murder, torture, and humane sacrifice. The main bad guy is called Kal Yer Ma and he delights in his demonic vestal rites, puling out hearts at will and hypnotising people at a glance. He throws Willy into a volcano, turns Mindy into a slave, and only Kick-Start can save the day.

Suffice to say all this is very funny and excitement. There are the usual jokes, fights, and chases- the best being the mine cart ride where Diddy Kong keeps being stretched across the tracks. A fat guy gets crushed by a fat stone, spikes come out of ceilings, spiders and crabs and beasties crawl everywhere, and the finale is a big fight and chase in a tank across a rope bridge over a pit of croc infested lava. All in all this is the best Indymania film and I would suggest that you watch it with your eyes. Open.

Best Scene: Trying to spot Dan Akroyd’s cameo in the film; look very closely in the scene with the bugs- he is dressed as a giant woodlouse.