Nightman Listens To – Ascension – John Coltrane (1966 Series)!

Greetings, Glancers! I know this won’t make a lot of sense because I post out of sequence, but this is like my third or fourth Jazz album in a row that I’m listening to and write about. If I never hear another jazz album in my life, I’ll die an unhappy man for having heard any in the first place.

I do have some experience of John ‘Robbie’ Coltrane, having listened to his A Love Supreme album in one of my other lists. The only thing I remember about it is that I didn’t enjoy it. And that it had a lot of horns. Looking at the album cover for Ascension I can only assume that this will be more of the same – horns and boredom. Interestingly, terrifyingly, it looks like there’s only a single 40 minute track on the album. Lets hope it’s not some freewheeling mess of noise and instead has some semblance of concept. Hell, even a coherent melody would be nice. Let’s do this.

You know that viral video which claims to show a girl being reunited with a donkey she had raised, but they hadn’t seen each other for years? You know the type – the kid calls for the animal, it comes out of its pen, sees the child, and begins braying in delight/pain as it canters towards the child for an emotional cuddle. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy and forget for 12 seconds that we live in a world governed by Religious and/or Money Hungry maniacs who want us to be nothing more than powerless slaves – and we keep letting them do it! The sound the donkey makes? That’s the sound of 80% of this album, except imagine that the donkey has been tied to the side of a Waltzer.

MMMMMMMMM-EEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That’s really all you need to know about the album going in; if you like tuneless noise, the sound of talented musicians off their tits in a frenzy of ego, playing as fast and loose as you like with no care given to structure, tone, emotion, or melody, then have at it. Jazz is for you. For the rest of us it’s nothing more than clanging clanging clanging clanging clanging clanging horn bit clanging end.

That’s another one signed off for 1966 – lets hope we get a rest from the fucking jazz nonsense. Feel free to call me a philistine in the comments!

Nightman Listens To – Stan Getz – Jazz Samba (Top 1000 Albums Series)!

Greetings, Glancers! I have no idea who or what a Stan Getz is but I’m assuming from the title that this is going to be something I am going to dislike. Jazz almost immediately turns me off, but I’m trying, while Samba is fine if I’m on holiday or about to go on holiday. As music to sit and listen to, neither are high on my list of ear candy. The whole point of the series was for me to learn, to listen to music I may not ordinarily choose to, and to see if I agree that the albums on the list should be considered the greatest of all time.

What Do I Know About Stan Getz: Absolutely nothing. I assume he’s a jazz guy.

What Do I Know About Jazz Samba: Never heard of it.

Desafinado: Bass and a soothing shuffle suggests a samba beat. Then more percussion followed by smooth lead lines. It’s very nice, but feels to me like restaurant music. Like elevator music, but better for digestion. Bearing in mind I know nothing about jazz, take anything I say understanding that I’m a Philistine when it comes to this topic. I do appreciate good playing, and there’s some silky guitar here. It’s all very smooth and relaxed, even if the percussion feels frantic. In terms of my feelings on Jazz, this doesn’t annoy me so that’s a tick in the plus column. Would I choose to listen to it though – no.

Samba Dees Days: Still smooth, but a more upbeat higher tempo piece. This one I can imagine people dancing too, maybe with a grass skirt on, maybe Business men and their wives on vacation in the 60s trying something new. Decent playing all round once more. Both tracks have had little guitar interludes which makes things more appealing to me. This reminds me of Mario Kart music.

O Pato: Another relaxed, summer vibe track. Again, if this was playing in the background while I sipped a Miami Vice while my legs burned and my toes dipped into the sand, I wouldn’t mind. Even outside of that situation I don’t mind listening to it. I can’t see myself ever lifting it off my shelf and putting into stereo, or choosing from my iPod.

Samba Triste: The guitar adds more of a Mexican vibe, something about those minor arpeggios. It’s a slower piece, maybe not melancholy but more reflective. It’s nice, I get it.

Samba De Una Nota So: This longer track opens with a similar shuffle sound and similar vibe to most of the others. Aside from the previous track, most of the pieces do sound very similar. This has a neat little funky ascending and descending piece just before the minute mark. I wonder if there will be a guitar led section. Almost everything I’ve said about the other tracks applies here too. Here’s the guitar section.

E Luxa So: Another faster piece, more laid back dancing and lazy drunkenness.

Bahia: The closing track. Also the longest track. I was going to say this one lacks the shuffle, but then it came in. It’s another more languid track – I use the term in a positive way. It follows the same format as the others – shuffle, horn piece, guitar piece, horn piece, end. The guitar here is faintly reminiscent of Ren And Stimpy. And The End by The Doors.

What Did I Learn: That I didn’t hate this. Maybe smoother, more chilled jazz is more my style? I’m sure there’s a name for whatever this is, beyond Jazz Samba. I feel no compunction to ever listen to this again, but if it was playing and the situation was suitable, I wouldn’t switch it off.

Does It Deserve Its Place In The Top 1000 Albums Of All Time: It wouldn’t make my personal list and on the surface I don’t see why it be on anyone’s unless they love this style of music. Therefore I can only assume it was influential and culturally significant – something which always seems to wield more importance when it comes to critical lists. I get that the best of the best can’t simply be good music, or high selling, or critically acclaimed and that they need some sort of wider reaching importance. In my scale of reviewing a piece of work all things are equal, so if you were influential, but didn’t sell and are not musically interesting or engaging then your not going to get a high score from me.

Let us know in the comments what you think of Jazz Samba!

Nightman Listens To – Duke Ellington At Newport (Top 1000 Albums Series)

Greetings, Glancers. We’re back once again to treat our ears and inferior minds with music to make us better people. Having said that, I immediately don’t have a good feeling about this one; it’s jazz, and jazz and me go together like Israel and Palestine. What can I say, I’m just not a fan of the brass.

What Do I Know About Duke Ellington: He was (is?) a Jazz musician

What Do I Know About Live At Newport: It’s a live show? At Newport?

Well, that was quick. Before I hit play, I will say that as I was typing this I saw that there is the original recording and a 1999 remaster clocking in at over 2 hours. I… I think I’ll stick with the original for now, thanks. There’s only five tracks, which probably means they’re all ten minutes long. Yippee!

‘Festival Junction’ opens with clapping and a very polite and unnecessary introduction. More clapping. A new thing. Tom And Jerry. Smooth. Fast and uppy downy. Mad skills. Piano. More. Drums. There’s the beat. More claps. Here we go, cats. I can imagine both weird 50s dancing and weird 50s hoodlums tipping their caps. In sync. Sounds like they’re having fun. It’s not annoying me in any way, but it’s just background noise for me. I’m sure if I’d been there I may have been swept up in the live atmosphere. it sounds like twelve different TV gameshow themes being played at the same time. Some squeals now. Those high notes do nothing for me, sir, but the crowd seem to be creaming all over them.

‘Blues To Be There’ starts with another spoken intro. Are all these new or improvised pieces that no-one has heard before, so they need to walk them in with words? Or was that just the style of the time? Slow, bluesy piano. Cymbals. Brass. It, and most jazz, still makes me think of Tom And Jerry, and I don’t think that’ll ever change. Halloween moment. Again it’s fine for me to have in the background, but I’m not a fan of music for background purposes. Who keeps shouting ‘yeah’? More twiddly now. Clapping. Oh, wait, not over yet. I wonder if anyone is going to move into the house across the road. It’s been empty for a year, and the sold sign has been up for about three weeks now. Actually, the sold sign split in half thanks to the wind the other night. It’s Friday January 27th as I write this, people usually move in on Fridays, right? More clapping. No, still going. People still write and listen to and release jazz, right? Young cubs I mean. It’s not about to die out. Every time I hear a car engine pausing outside I think it’s going to be someone new moving in over the road. End.

‘Newport Up‘ sees another introduction, man these hip cats sound so square. Fast, bouncy, skirts swirling, feet kicking. This one builds a frantic pace and has plenty of solo moments backed by exuberant backing blasts. Sorry guys, but again by non-jazzy ears are looking out for hooks rather than freestyle, so I can’t be the most objective about this. I like it, sure – it isn’t annoying and I appreciate the speed and skill of playing. But technical artistry is one thing, crafting memorable music that I can recall at a moment’s notice is another. Now it sounds like Archer. 

‘Jeep’s Blues‘ is immediately sex music. Tom And Jerry sex music that is – you know, one of those moments when the girl cat comes in and turns her eyelashes into a beckoning finger. It also sounds quite a bit like The Pink Panther in places. Yes, 99% of jazz music I know comes from cartoons – that’s why I’m listening to this – to increase my knowledge and better myself. What exactly are you doing? Yeah exactly, so shut up. It ambles and rambles on, nothing to see or hear here I’m afraid.

‘Diminuendo and Crescendo In Blue‘ is apparently two tracks merged together for this live outing. Piano and percussion. Then crazy horns. So this is ticking along nicely, I can’t really differentiate it from any of the previous tracks, probably because I’ve already forgotten them. It’s softer now, someone is clapping their hands, and someone keeps yelling. The shouting is quite annoying because I’ve no idea why he’s doing it. Is this good? Is that why? The crowd is damn well into though, maybe he’s just stoking the fire. Again, great skills on display, but the music isn’t my sort of thing and I’ve never been able to stand too much brass. That beat just keeps going on, this guy keeps playing, and the crowd is getting louder. It’s funny as he seems to be playing whatever the hell he likes. But again, it’s minutes and minutes of what my philistine ears determine to be the same few notes. Obviously it’s not that, but that’s how it seems. How hasn’t this guy fainted yet? Now the pianist is doing weird shit. Must be his turn now. Now they’re all at it. It still sounds like gameshows and cartoons and Dick Van Dyke movies. I’ll admit my foot got tapping in literally the final minute, and those final screeching notes are horrific and brilliant, but it’s over now and I can’t say I’ll ever listen to it again. Someone’s talking now. End.

What Did I Learn: I still don’t like jazz. Or ‘get’ jazz. Whatever. This is fine but doesn’t sound any different from most other jazz I’ve heard. All I can say is thank God they invented the guitar and the amp and all the rest.

Does It Deserve Its Place In The Top 1000 Albums Of All Time: Well, it sure as hell wouldn’t appear in mine. But presumably this was a landmark for jazz, or live albums, or a combination of both. I’d love to see the crowd as it sounds like they are losing their minds. Again, I don’t really have any frame of reference to compare this with. Show me some bad jazz and let me see how it makes me feel, and then I’ll listen to this again to see if it’s any different. That’s always a good marker for getting into a genre you’re not familiar with. Show them a turd, then show them a diamond. As I have no clue what I’m talking about, this gets a 2 for maybe as I simply can’t give it a definite yes because I didn’t really like it, and I can’t give it a no because people who know better would throttle me. With their feeble jazz hands.

Colin Larkin’s Ranking: 460/1000