Amazon Vine Freebies – May 2014

The lambs are frolicking, the sun is out, and the Vine Gods demand supplication! Let us appease them with grateful reviews of their offerings!

Trunki Travel Toy Box (Pink):

 When you look for storage solutions to your mess problems, high up the list of priorities is of course the ability to ride on the storage utility. This generally speeds up the cleaning process, as you can whiz yourself along the floor rather than breaking your back trying to lift the container or drag it along behind you. Also important – it’s pink.

Galt Giant Floor Puzzle Jungle:

 If you recall the massacre at Farmer Joe’s farm, then you’ll look fondly upon this latest Galt puzzle, this time offering an ideal, pastoral vision of a jungle glade, where carnivore and veggievore live in non-murderous peace. My eldest youngster was a little frightened by the sadistic look in the snake’s eye, and for many weeks did not want anything to do with this puzzle, but she seems ok with it now. Either that, or the snake finally took her soul.

SanDisk 30 MB/s Ultra miniDrive for MacBook Air 64 GB:

 A 64 gig thingy for MacBook Air. Good value thing for storing stuff.

Disney Frozen Castle and Ice Palace Playset:

 We really hit the jackpot with this one, although I have no idea why this was offered free when Frozen is a merchandise monster with riots breaking out in freaking Poundland with rabbid parents trying to grab the last set of Olaf condoms for their kids. This was selling for over a hundred quid when Amazon decided to let me have it for free, and although the guilty little boy inside was screaming ‘leave it for someone else’ the other thousand voices were shouting ‘getitgetitgetithungrygetitcrispsbuffynevenevenevegetitgetitgetitNOOOOOOOW!’ So, i got it and the kids love it. Ironically, they owned Frozen but hadn’t yet watched it, instead having Snow White, Cinderella, Pocahontas etc on repeat. Since then though, the Froze obsession has taken place in our household and those condoms are being put to sterling use. Let it go!

Amazon Vine Freebies – April 2014

The cruelest month sees an odd selection of selections, toys, dvds, and kitchen treats, all welcomed with open eyes.

Hello Kitty Flip Out Sofa:

A big hit in the Spac household, the girls enjoyed sitting on this, and pulling it out to lie on, sofa bed style, but it didn’t last long, sustaining a mortal puncture after a few weeks. We did what we could, patched it up and tried to give it the best quality of life for its final days, but in the end the last gasp of air was puffed, and all that was left was a plastic, deflated rag. Goodbye, Kitty. Goodbye.

Galt Giant Floor Puzzle Farm:

A bright and chunky jigsaw, depicting one of the final days of summer, and also ironically one of the final days when Farmer Joe and the animals were happy together – shortly after this scene was drawn, Tesco Joe came long and slaughtered most of the brethren for their frozen food aisle, including the horse. Relive the carnage by completing and destroying the jigsaw!


Out of The Furnace [DVD] [2013]:

A grim little feature which soared under the radar, sees two grim brothers in a grim industrial town making grim and fatal decisions which lead to some suitably grim conclusions. An excellent cast – Bale, Defoe, Affleck (the other one), Whitaker, Harrelson etc all perform well in a story that won’t leave many smiling.


Finish Power and Pure Quantum (Pack of 1, Total 40 Tablets):

These were actually more delicious than I expected – just make sure to only take one at a time as they can cause excessive frothing and death.