Hilarious Lyrics Translations – February 2017

By the balls of Trump, it has been a wanky wanky long time since I’ve done one of these never-to-be-read shambolic rants. Rather than randomly selecting a Chart song I don’t know, lets kick things off by picking a song I actually know!

Sia – Cheap Thrills

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I love Sia, but I cannot abide that muppet Sean Paul. Has Sean Paul ever made a good song? Or has his presence ever made a song better? The answer to both is nein. His voice is the same as the sound two robots make when they have just discovered porn and want to try it out. His voice is like shitting a magnet when you have shrapnel in your ass. His voice is the  literal projection of the thoughts of an Alt-Right loon. Sean Paul, his voice like a thousand wasted dreams, like a bunion crusting over; Sean Paul, like an oft-reported hate crime; like a three-legged trolley. Enough.

I quite like this song, not nearly as much as her other hits and many others on her albums, and it would be better without that other dickhead’s warbling – it’s a bit of fluff, not like the usual incisive and emotional tracks she pens, but we all need some fluff in our life from time to time. Lyrically it is very simple and doesn’t vary from any of the other hundred songs released every year about dancing and all that junk. Naturally, no-one (himself included) has the faintest notion of what Sean Paul is actually saying. Sean Paul, with his voice like a mysterious soup pube.

The Original

Up with it, girl. Rock with it, girl (Sia). Show dem it, girl. Bada bang bang. Bounce with it, girl. Dance with it, girl. Get with it, girl. Bada bang bang. Come on, come on, turn the radio on. It’s Friday night, and it won’t be long. Gotta do my hair, put my make-up on It’s Friday night, and it won’t be long.

Till I hit the dance floor (bada bang) Hit the dance floor (bada bang) I got all I need. No, I ain’t got cash, I ain’t got cash But I got you, baby (just you and me). Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills!

But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat, Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money. U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control.

Come on, come on, turn the radio on. It’s Saturday, and it won’t be long. Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on. It’s Saturday, and it won’t be long. Till I hit the dance floor (bada bang) Hit the dance floor (bada bang) I got all I need (Sia). No, I ain’t got cash, I ain’t got cash, But I got you, baby (just you and me).

Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money.

U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control. Me and you, girl, you and me. Drop it to di floor an mek mi see your energy because Mi nah play no hide an seek Wah fi see di ting u have weh mek mi feel weak girl.

‘Cause anytime u wine an kotch it Di selector pull it up an put it pon repeat girl. I’m nah touch a dollar in mi pocket ‘Cause nuttin in this world ain’t more dan what u worth. I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money.

U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold As long as I keep dancing. Free up urself, get outa control. Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills! Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight I love cheap thrills!

But I don’t need no money U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat Mek di beat jus tek control I don’t need no money. U worth more dan diamond, more dan gold. As long as I keep dancing Free up urself, get outa control La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la la (I love cheap thrills!) La la la la la la I love cheap thrills

The Translation

Also, girls. And rock, girl (she). Show it, girls. Bada bang bang. So bounce, girls. And dance and girls. It gets along with the girls. Bada bang bang. Come and turn on the radio. It is Friday night so it will not be long. Please do my hair and make it on Friday night. It is not long.

I play the dance floor until I hit the dance floor (bada bang) (bada bang) I got everything I needed. No, I do not have cash, I do not have cash, But I have you, baby (you and me). Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills!

But I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. As long as I can feel the beat, Mek di hit jus tek’s control. I do not need money. More valued Dan diamonds, more Dan gold. As long as I am dancing. Release urself and gain outa control.

Come and turn on the radio. It’s Saturday, it will not be long. Please paint my nails and put my high heels on. It’s Saturday, it will not be long. Before I come to the dance floor (bada bang) I hit the dance floor (bada bang) I have everything I need (Sia). No, I do not have cash, I do not have cash, but I have you, baby (you and me).

Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! But I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money.

As long as I continue dancing, more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Release urself and gain outa control. Me and you, girl, you and me. I see your energy, so I see your energy I have meh feel a weak girl.

Because you are always taking wine in a glass. I have not touched a dollar in mi pocket. Because the world ‘s nuttin is not worth it any more. I do not need money more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money.

As long as I continue dancing, more dan diamonds, more worthy of dan gold. Release urself and gain outa control. Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills! Baby, I do not need dollar bills to enjoy tonight, I like cheap thrills!

But I do not need gold more dan diamonds, more Dan gold worth. Mek di hits jus tek’s control as long as I can feel the beat. I do not need money. More valued Dan diamonds, more Dan gold. As long as I continue dancing, I love cheap thrills! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la cheap thrill! ) La la la la la La I love cheap thrills.

The WTF

You know, I probably could have translated from English into English and returned similar results. Sia is renamed ‘She’, which I’m sure ‘she’ would appreciate, and ‘it gets along with the girls has the vague air of a stalker to it. Rather than being a song about getting ready for a night on the town, the opening sounds more like a young, robotic geek in the 1930s becoming over-excited in advance of their favourite radio serial coming on the air.

The next section clearly references an annoying child being hyper at a disco, playing too hard, falling and hitting the ground hard – getting exactly what they deserved. The child wants a new toy to make them feel better, but mumma ain’t got no cash to buy anything and instead attempts to impart a valuable moral and financial lesson – that you can have fun without money (a lie). Also, I don’t know about you, but in my neck of the woods a cheap thrill refers to a sexual act, usually something like a dry hump in an alleyway, or some pocket billiards at the back of the class while looking at your teacher. I have no idea who Dan Gold or Dan Diamonds is, sounds like one of those online comparison sites or converting your precious metals to cash scams.

It’s Saturday now, and still suffering the effects of the previous night’s excesses, our heroine needs help getting ready. Oddly, she seems to be experiencing a Casual Loop or predestination paradox as she somehow hits the dancefloor before actually getting to the dancefloor. Unless this is some elaborate metaphor for already dancing and getting in hte mood long before you actually reach the club. Later, the stalker evidently returns and is frightened off by the girl’s ‘energy’ and instead moves in on an easier target – ‘meh feel a weak girl’.

The final section is a caustic and frank look at poverty, as the narrator exclaims in amazement that people actually put wine in a glass, and bemoan the fact that they haven’t had even as much as a dollar in their pocket. This life has driven them to suicidal thoughts – ‘the world ‘s nuttin is not worth it any more’. Yet, those cheap thrills still have an allure and rather than throw it all away, the narrator appears to void their senses and drifts away with a multitude of ‘la la las’. It’s a fun song taken to unexpectedly dark places.

Let us know in the comments which songs you would like to see be badly translated!

Hilarious Lyrics Translations – April 2015

Please note – the following hilarious translations are not the same as the equally hilarious misheard lyrics, nor are they actual translations currently out there in Pop Land. All I have done is taken a famous song and slapped the lyrics into one of the famous (ly bad) Internet Translation tools – translated from English into Korean, then back into English, with hilarious results. I picked Korean because, based on previous experience, it seems to struggle in the funniest way with the English language, and vice versa. Each week, I’m going to select some of the most famous songs of all times, of recent times, and throw in a few obscure favourites too, all for your enjoyment! Lets start the laughter right now!

Poker Face

For the longest time I was not aware this song existed. Then, one sultry night in St Lucia I was made aware of its existence via the drunken medium of Karaoke. Since then I have maybe heard it only a handful of times -having been dragged to some terrible basement club where fools dry hump each other into a flaccid frenzy. Beyond that, a number of Gaga songs have passed through my sound-caves without too much distress. I’ll admit that some of her sub-Madonna tunes are catchy, and that her, or her management team, seem to have a talent for making headlines, but aside from that Gaga and her music have failed to make an impact on my life. Today all that changes as, seven years too late, I try to decipher her lyrics. I’m going to guess they concern outwitting supervillians and their metal-rimmed bowler hat wearing henchmen.

 The Original

Mum mum mum mah. Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah. Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold ’em like they do in Texas, please
Fold ’em, let ’em, hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me (I love it)
Love game intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he’s been hooked I’ll play the one that’s on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got

Can’t read my, Can’t read my, No he can’t read my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, Can’t read my, No he can’t read my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you’re with me (I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it’s love if its not rough it isn’t fun, fun

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face, (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face, (Mum mum mum mah)
(Mum mum mum mah) (Mum mum mum mah)

I won’t tell you that I love you, Kiss or hug you
Cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin
I’m not lying, I’m just stunnin’ with my love-glue-gunning
Just like a chick in the casino, Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this, Check this hand cause I’m marvelous

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah)

The Translation

Ma ma ma Mahjong, Ma ma ma Mahjong
Ma ma ma Mahjong, Ma ma ma Mahjong
Ma ma ma Mahjong

They want to I, as Texas, wait a minute they
(I love it), listen to me hit me, them, let them, ‘Fold the impression your baby
Love games and card games spades straight start
And after he’s been addicted I play one of his mind

Oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I showed him what I found, that’s hot
Oh-e-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I showed him what I found, that’s hot

Naeeul can not read, I can not read
No he can not read my poker face (She’s got me like nobody)
I can not read, I can not read
No he can not read my poker face (She’s got me like nobody)

P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face (Ma ma ma MAH)
P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face (Ma ma ma MAH)

We are going to be, I want to roll with him a hard one pairs
You (I love it) a little fun while gambling with me
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And if the baby is not being tough love its fun, fun

Oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, I showed him what I found, that’s hot
Oh-e-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I showed him what I found, that’s hot

P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face (Ma ma ma MAH)
P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face (Ma ma ma MAH)
(Ma ma ma MAH) (Ma ma ma MAH)

I love you, will not tell you Kiss or Hug. My Muffin ‘bluff it causes
I lie not, my love glue – I’m just stunnin as offal numyeo total
Just like a chick in the casino, Take your bank before I pay you
I promise, this promise, Make an amazing hand cause I yiyayi

P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face
(Ma ma ma MAH)
P-P-P- poker face, P-P- Poker Face
(Ma ma ma Mahjong)

The WTF

Aww, bless. She was singing about sex. There’s nothing braver than singing about something as natural and as important so survival as eating, breathing, and sleeping. Ayumi Hamasaki’s Poker Face is better. Truth be told, the original lyrics above contain some fairly terrible lines in the good old tried and true routine of ‘pick a subject, any subject, and then make it about sex’. ‘Check this hand cause I’m marvelous’ is just about as awful a line as you’ll ever hear, and is almost worthy of its own WTF.

As is standard with the WTF translation, the lyrics take on a much more interesting and disturbing life of their own. We get to business immediately as the translator takes Gaga inane time-filling warbling and uses it to create a subtle new level of conflict within the story – we have not only two parties whose groins wish to mash together for a few sloppy moments, but we now learn that one is a Poker fan, and one is a Majong fan – a lip-licking development.

Rather than dealing with all the pussy-footing (ahem) and teasing of the original, the translation seems to deal with the act itself – the crazed words spat out by folks in the middle of sex – the words which must never be spoken or thought of again for fear of a total shame-based breakdown, but which seem perfectly vital at the time. As such, the opening lines lack coherence, and are more the result of half-thoughts and guttural results caused by the impact of special areas slamming together. Similar to when you get gut-punched, you may let out an involuntary ‘urgh’ or ‘korraaapgghhhh’, Gaga and her mate are panting and spouting nonsense.

In the bridge, we get further insight into Gaga’ character, perhaps she actually is a Secret Agent, and her partner is her partner, and she thinks it’s ‘hot’ to show him what she found. Is she turned on by seeking the approval of her superiors and/or colleagues? Gaga then relays her honesty as she presumably doesn’t want this relationship to simply be based on sex, but trust – she sees a future in it and doesn’t want there to be any secrets. She she tells the guy that she cannot read. That’s a pretty important secret, but hardly surprising reading the original lyrics. She has essentially, after a single meagre sex act, devolved from an independent woman to a compliant housewife to be – the reference to Majong disappears, as she casts off her prior interests to better suit her man. You can tell though that she feels a little ashamed of what she has become with the emphasis on ‘MAH’ – she wants to speak out, but holds back and the last moment.

 This twee compliance continues through the following lines, with ‘We are going to be’ and ‘We (I love it)’, with the final burn coming in ‘I love you, will not tell kiss or hug’ where she basically states that she loves this man, but isn’t going to force him into anything he doesn’t want – no kisses, hugs, or cuddles dear, just bend me over when you want me and I’m good (I love it). Unfortunately, this treatment eventually forces her inner Ophelia out, and she is left an insane trembling shell of what she once was, making up words, and comparing herself with poultry and carcass. The most interesting line in the whole piece is ‘I’m just stunnin as offal’ – not only is this as sardonic and brilliant a lyric as anyone could hope to create, but it’s oddly prophetic given some of Gaga’s costume choices over the years.

Beekeeper’s Blues

An apt choice from my random iPod selection, and a fitting partner to Poker Face, Susanna ‘Goddess’ Hoffs’s bluesy folk ballad is a tale of love gone sour, with some decent, bitter lyrics. Not one of my favourites from Hoffs, it’s nevertheless a song with plenty of opportunities for hilarious results.

The Original

You only call when you want money, And when I need you you’re not there
Everybody else has written you right off
You make it hard to care, You’re pretty hard to bear

Women think that you’re a genius ‘Til you get caught for who you are
I reeled you in and you ate me half alive
You were a future star, Who do you think you are?

No good deed will go unpunished, oh oh oh And no beekeeper goes unstung
And these boots are made for walkin’ They’re walking back to you
What else can I do?

I know you know that you’re good lookin’ And you’re not known for too much else
I took you in and you left me half alive
Don’t know what you do Or who you do it to

When I’m gone someone will save you. When she gets tired there’s always someone new
I reeled you in and you ate me half alive
You were a future star . Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? I reeled you in and you ate me half alive
You were a future star. Who do you think you are?

No good deed will go unpunished, yea yea yea. No beekeeper goes unstung
And these boots are made for walkin’, I’m walkin’ back to you
What else can I do?

Oh no no (oh no no). Walkin’ back to you (walkin’ back to you)
Oh oh oh, walkin’ back to you (walkin’ back to you)
(I’d do it all again, I’d do it all again) with you

The Translation

Call only if you want the money. When you’re not, I need you
All the others have written for you right now, even now,
So you can hard-nerve. You bear a pretty hard

Women think you’re a genius, Till you caught anyone you ‘
I’ve been feeding you your half eaten me alive.
You were the future stars. Who do you think you are?

What good works are oh, oh, oh, I will go punishment. And more beekeepers go unstung
And boots are made for walkin ‘ They’ve got you walking back
What can I do different?

I said, ‘You know what you’re looking for good, And you’re not so much known to others
I live a half you had you left me
Do not you know what, Or who you do it to

When I do not have someone to save you, New people are always tired when she
I’ve been feeding you your half eaten me alive.
You were the future stars, Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? I’ve been feeding you your half eaten me alive.
You were the future stars. Who do you think you are?

What good deed is indeed true, as indeed the punishment to go
Some beekeepers go unstung And boots are made for walkin ‘
Stuff I walked back to you What can I do different?

(Oh no), Ania. Walkin ‘(walks back to you again, you’)
Oh, oh, oh, walk (walk back to you again, you ‘)
With you (again I will do everything, to do everything again.)

The WTF

It’s always difficult to decipher these jumbled disasters, especially when there are many difficulties with punctuation, repeated words, and thoughts left hanging mid-flow. What sense I can gleam from it seems to copy over much of the bitterness of the original, but with an added cannibalistic flavour. ‘I’ve been feeding you, your half eaten’ is disturbing enough to feature in a Thomas Harris novel, while the repeated appraisals of punishment and ‘What can I do different’ hint at a the fevered mind of a serial killer who know they can’t stop themselves. In direct contradiction to the original’s ‘No Beekeeper goes unstung’, Susannah says that some in fact do escape sting-free. Is she the Beekeeper? Is that her serial-killer title? I think we need to get Columbo on this one, stat.

Hilarious Translations Of Song Lyrics – August 2014 Part 1

Please note – the following hilarious translations are not the same as the equally hilarious misheard lyrics, nor are they actual translations currently out there in Pop Land. All I have done is taken a famous song and slapped the lyrics into one of the famous (ly bad) Internet Translation tools – translated from English into Korean, then back into English, with hilarious results. I picked Korean because, based on previous experience, it seems to struggle in the funniest way with the English language, and vice versa. Each week, I’m going to select some of the most famous songs of all times, of recent times, and throw in a few obscure favourites too, all for your enjoyment! Lets start the laughter right now!

That’s All Right, Mama.

For our first song we go al the back to one of songs that started it all. Arthur Crudup’ s Blues Rocker was sexual, up-tempo, and featured some early guitar God fingering (good night, everybody!). Once Elvis got a hold of it, the rest of the world caught right on. Let’s take a look at the original lyrics.

Well, now that’s all right, mama. That’s all right for you. That’s all right mama, anyway you do.

But, that’s all right, that’s all right. That’s all right now mama, anyway you do

Well mama, mama she done told me, Papa told me too. They love you leavin’ son now. We’ll be there for you

That’s all right, that’s all right. That’s all right now mama, anyway you do. Yeah man

Baby one and one is two, Two and two is four, I love that woman but I’ve to let her go

But, that’s all right, that’s all right, That’s all right now mama, anyway you do

Babe now you don’t want me, why not tell me so? You won’t be bothered with me ‘Round you have no more

But, that’s all right, that’s all right, That’s all right now mama, anyway you do.

The Translation:

Well, now, all right, Mom, It’s all right for you. In other words, whatever you do, love, mom

However, that‘s all right, that‘s all right. That is, after all, you’re all mothers now

Then she told me to do the mom Mom. Dad told me.They leave a son now loves. We‘ll be there for you

That is, all right, that‘s all right. That is, after all, you’re all mothers now
Four people, The baby one two, one 2 is a two to four. I love her, but I let her

However, that‘s all right, that‘s all right. That is, after all, you’re all mothers now

Lady you do not want to tell me now, why? You do not bother me. You are no more abnormal round

However, that‘s all right, that‘s all right. That is, after all, you’re all mothers now.

The WTF:
We seem to have turned a fairly simply tale of love, rejection, heartache, and passive aggressive acceptance into a monstrous tale about Oedipal lust and mental breakdown, one which will surely end in a women-hating, serial killing rampage. The almost passive tone of the original becomes immediately cynical with the opening couple of lines, ending with the ominous ‘You’re all mothers now’. That is the sound of a man who has made the conscious decision to see the face of his mother on every women he sees. What it is Mom did is left unclear, and could it be that there are actually two ‘Moms’? The narrator switches between ‘Mom’ and mom at will, and finally the moniker ‘Lady’ appears – clearly the narrator recognises that his next victim is not his mother, or that the mother he thought he knew is now foreign to him. But what to make of the centrepiece? Most of the song is the same few rambling, confused thoughts, but in the middle we get the clusterfuck ‘Four people, The baby one two, one 2 is a two to four. I love her, but I let her’. Who are the four people – son, Mom, mom, Dad? Who, or whose, is the baby? This is the point in the narrative process that our hero loses the plot and starts thinking in random, nonsensical equations. Perhaps we get close to some sort of reasoning with ‘I love her, but I let her’, but he stops short of explaining exactly what it is he let her do. This is a secret the man will take to the grave. And he seems quite keen to take a few more mothers with him before he blows himself away at the end of an exciting, probably naked, car chase.

Too Much Of A Good Thing.

I was praying we would get something light-hearted after that gristly ending when I hit shuffle on my iPod, but I landed on another tale of lost love, courtesy of The Sons. If any of you out there recognise this song, it’s because you heard it while watching Dumb And Dumber. One thing to note is that this song has some interesting lyrics, and poetically selected words that you would assume would not translate well between English and Korean. Under such circumstances, hilarity is bound to ensue. Here we go:

The Original:

There’s a chill in the air comin’ off the river tonight, Sure am glad I chose my sweater,
Walk alone, I walk alone tonight,Yeah, I’ve felt better.
But I know, in my heart, One car in an alley is better than a vacant lot,
And you’ll see, on my face,Lines on a young man can find their place.

Baby, I have left so much behind, Until I passed the same place twice
Now I see just what ya done to me, Too much of a good thing.

Can you hold the line,another call’s comin’ in, Might be the one I just got over,
Back and forth and up again, For just a wrong number.
But to scream a good cry, Could leave me naked in some stranger’s eyes,
So I’ll whisper, a little cry, Hope this memory’ll soon pass by. Ooh.

Baby, I got feelin’s old and strong, I did not think they’ll last this long, Tell me why your light keeps turnin’ on,
I say too much of a good thing. Too much of a good thing.

A lonely voice finds little demand, it turns too shy and afraid to make a stand.

For one last time can’t you listen to me, Baby don’t let me go silently

You’re too much, you’re too much. You’re too much of a good thing, You’re too much of a good thing, too much
Much too, much too, much too, much too, much too, much too, much too much, You’re too much of a good thing.

The Translation:

The chill is in the air coming off the night today river, Of course, I’m glad I choose the sweater
Walk alone, I walk alone at night, Yeah, well, I thought.
But in my mind, you know, The car is better than a vacant lot in the alley,
And you can see my face You can find their place in line to a young man.

Baby, it remains very much I until it passes the same place twice
Now, do me just what ya see The good thing is too much.

You can hold the line, Import of other currencies‘, I just got one that can be,
Maximum back and forth Just wrong.
But a good cry scream You leave me naked in the eyes of the stranger
So, I whispered a little cry, Please memory’ll passing quickly. Right.

Baby, I‘m an old strong feeling I did not think they‘d be able to last for so long,
Turn in the light of why do you say, I say too much of a good thing.
The good thing is too much.

The WTF:

Well, where to begin? Once again, the song takes a cynical turn – the original being more of an anguished cry of depression, and once again the narrator experiences severe bouts of confusion, mumbling over his words like a scarecrow brought to life by the blackest of magic, and then being fed magic mushrooms. To his credit, he starts of stable enough, glad he chose a sweater for a late night walk, but a glimpse of his mind shows that all is not well – ‘The car is better than a vacant lot in the alley‘. What precisely does he mean? Is this a literal statement, that a car is better than nothing? Did he see something which sparked this? Or is he thinking that a car is better than a vacant lot to perform some fell action? Whatever it is, he appears to make a swift exit as someone sees his face and he runs off. ‘Do me just what ya see’ – is this something you say to a prostitute, or something you say as a final act of defiance to a torturer? After this we get some bizarre talk of currency, screaming, nudity in front of strangers, and the haunting ‘Maximum back and forth Just wrong‘. The torture theme comes round and round again as the protagonist seems to have achieved a higher state of being – removing his spirit from his body yet not understanding why, or how ‘they’d be able to last for so long’. Who ‘they’ are, it may be best to not know.

In conclusion, my first two songs walked a much darker path to hilarity than I expected, and any laughs to be found therein are likely the laughs of a madman as he rises from behind your sofa, blade in one hand, and decapitated doll’s head on the other. Sweet dreams.