Robocop: Go Robo!

Robobcop is the greatest film ever. Time travelling robots, car chases, head disasters,guts, killings, excitements, great graphics. As many have reviewed it, I’ll give a plot summary and offer my favourite quotings. It’s the future. Crime is everywhere, cops are overrun. Bad guys rule the cops. Everyone watches silly TV shows involving cakes and breasts: Bixby: I’d buy that for tree fiddy!

Murph joins the cops. On his first day he is murdered by baddies. In an exhilarating chase the baddie boss sacrifices one of his own men:Clarence: Can you fly, Blobby?

Smurf catches a couple of the bad guys, but the tables turn when he is outnumbered: Emil: (pointing a shotgun at Murphy) Your hide is mine!

Clarence: No. Nat ya da da!

Lead baddie Clarence Bodyguard gives his reasons for massacre:Clarence: See, I got this problem, so I do. I don’t like cops so I don’t. NANANANANANA!

(blowing Murphy’s hand off) Clarence: Not so handy now, are ya?

This is all very amusing so one of the camp bad guys quips: Joe: Ooh I bet that’s gotta sting, well you see now that’s the thing, ’bout being shot 300 times. Ooh my boys, he speaks, he rhymes!

Morse dies while his partner Lewis watches. Campy Joe quips as they leave: Joe: Nighty night, sleep well my friend. Oops, that’s right, you’re bucking dead!

The company which looks after the city’s police force, OCD, has been looking for new ways to solve crime. Dick Johns has created a monster called Ed20head which he believes will work. He presents it to the committee in a delightful scenario which reminded me of school drama club: (Kinney points a pistol at ED209)

ED: Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.

Dick: Do as he says.

(Kinney drops the pistol but ED advances) ED: What did I just say, scumbag?

Kinney: I did what you said. I DID WHAT YOU SAID !

ED: Oh, back chat me will you? (ED opens fire and shreds Kinney)

Dirk’s boss is very disappointed at this glitch. Up and comer Bob Monkhouse steps up to the dish and offers his solution- a time travelling robot they captured which can be reprogrammed with the mind of a dead cop. Dick (secretly the crime lord boss) isn’t happy. They use Murray’s Brain: Bob: You’re gonna be a bad mother-crusher!

He’s unstoppable. All he needs is 12 hours sleep a day, and a special type of robot food: Johnson: Tastes like baby food!

Morton: I prefer rusks.

He follows set orders: Morton: What are your Prime Directives?

Robo: Shooting bad guys in the balls, eating baby food, your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

Robo immediately gets to work on killing criminals and saving the day creating his own classic quotes along the way: Robo: You feel lucky, Creep? Well, do ya?

Robo: Thank you for your cooperation. Adios!

Robo: Dead or alive, you are going to die.

He is an internet sensation, bigger than the Beaters: Reporter: Excuse me, Robo, any special message for all the kids watching at home?

Robo: Stay away from my bins.

Dick’s angry that his plan for world domination has been destroyed. He speaks to Bob about respect before having him killed: Dick: I used to call the old man funny names. Smelley pants. Boner. Once I even called him…”Bum face.”

Murphy has been having nightmares about being killed, and decides to go after the gang: (Dragging Leon Nash by the hair) Robo: Who killed Laura Palmer?

This leads to a shootout with motorcycles, helicopters, and sharks in a warehouse: Robo: Come quietly or there will be… trouble.

Steve: Oh… yeah? (cocks shotgun)Hasta la vista, baby! (fires)

Clarence was celebrating his birthday and is surprised by all the presents: Clarence: Oooh. buns, buns, buns!

He isn’t happy when Robert arrests him, but knows his rights: Clarence: Just give me my funning phone call.

He phones Dick who says Robobo must be killed. He gives Clarence new guns so they can kill Robotinator: Joe: Whoa, a new toy. Can I play?

Clarence: Buy your own, hippy.

Robo finds them and begins his final confrontation with the help of Louise. Campy Joe is his first victim: Robo: Looking for me? (shoots Joe)Does it hurt? Does it hurt?

He drops Emilio into a vat of Toxic Waste (he returns in the sequel as bad guy The Jokey Man): Emil: (after taking an acid bath) It Burns!

He kills Clarence and the rest of the gang but Louie is hurt: Lewis: Murphy… I’m a mess…

Robo: Soiling oneself is a common problem in earthlings.

Robo goes to OCD headquarters to arrest Dick, but can’t due to a fourth directive in his database. Dick explains his actions: Dick: I had to kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake. Now it’s time to erase that mistake. (Attacks Robo with an eraser on the end of a giant pencil)

The Wee Man realises what has been happening: Old Man: Dick, you’re fired! (Directive 4 is cancelled) Robo: Dick, you’re fired! (shoots Jones)

Due to budget constraints the following quote was left in as they couldn’t afford to re-film it: Old Man: Nice shooting, son. What’s your name?

Robo: em…. Paul Weller?

Best Scene: When Robo sticks the metal blade out of his arm through a robber who dared to steal a carton of milk. It goes through the carton, through bad guy’s mouth, and out the back of his head!