Nightman Listens To – Master Of Reality – Black Sabbath (Top 500 Metal Series)!

*Note – I set this to publish back in 2020, but something went wrong and it seemingly never posted. So here you go.

Greetings, Glancers! It feels like we’re getting through an awful lot of Black Sabbath so far with this list, which is a good thing as they were always more of a Greatest Hits band to me while I’m now able to take a deeper dive at their core work. Having said that, I’m pretty familiar with this album even if I’ve never heard it from start to finish. It contains a number of their most famous songs – songs which have appeared on Compilations, and songs which I’ve heard played at the Rock and Metal shows I used to go to and DJ at.

There isn’t much to say about the album cover – it’s iconic in its own way, more due to the popularity of the album rather than the actual artwork, but it does have an interesting wavering font which aligns with some of the more fusion and drug elements of the band and makes me think of a psychedelic Scooby Doo. The almost black on black print for the album title is a neat touch too. But lets just hit play on the thing, right?

‘Sweet Leaf’ begins with a cough which used to freak me out when I first heard the song on a Greatest Hits. I first thought it was a mistake. It’s still a strange inclusion now. But beyond that we get another fat, dirty Iommi riff. Like a lot of the best Sabbath riffs, it’s so simple yet leaves plenty of room for vocal accompaniment and instrumental arrangement. After a couple of verses, the song takes off into an extended instrumental phrase – the drums and bass are pouncing all over the place and there’s a sprinkling of shredding – then we return to the verse. Ozzy doesn’t sound too bad – he still has a distant, near reverb tone on his vocals, but this adds to the overall Sabbath sound. It’s a good song, can’t say I’ve ever loved it and I wish the instrumental part had gone a little further, lasted a little longer, but it’s still a powerful intro.

‘After Forever‘ feels much brighter and fun – the intro is faster and the riff makes the band sound less like Doom Metal, and more like a 70s US rock band. If you hadn’t heard it before, you wouldn’t guess it was Sabbath. The verses change up the pace and tone somewhat, the lyrics are funny, and on the second turn a thundering funky section changes things further. From there it’s a collection of the intro and verse riffs with assorted guitar trickery and freakouts.

‘Embryo‘ is one which, I’ve never been able to work out why, but was quite off-putting to me. Not because it was bad, more because it felt like it was triggering some unconscious memory from a past life in me which made me feel all apprehensive and panicky. I know that sounds ludicrous, but there you are. Something about the jaunty near-medieval melodies of the intro which aren’t quite out of tune, but are… puts me in the headspace of a child terrified by Knightmare or traumatised by some unimaginable horror scene. Then it’s followed up by a Doctor Who style galloping riff and the memory is slowly dispelled.

‘Children Of The Grave‘ continues based off that galloping Dr Who riff. The downtuned guitar and bass sound is really coming through here, and it may take a bit of getting used to for traditional rock fans. It’s not something I’m a massive fan of in general and metal bands have a habit of using it too much, but it’s perfect for Sabbath. The drums feel like trash can lids, but not in a St Anger way, and of course the technique is perfection.  It isn’t the most exciting song or riff the band has written, but there is room for a brief instrumental interlude in the middle and a spooky Friday The 13th ending.

‘Orchid‘ is a lovely acoustic guitar instrumental which doesn’t fit neatly with what you know of the band or have heard so far on the album. It sounds more complex than it is, the playing given a swirling hypnotic quality.

‘Lord Of This World‘ on the other hand is exactly what you would expect – a stinking riff followed by a whirlwind of drums before settling into a slower, funkier riff for the verse. Ozzy’s vocals have that distorted quality again, and by now the vocal approach feels a little overly familiar with Ozzy’s limitations becoming clear. It’s still fine, but the vocal melodies and rhythms do become repetitive between songs when listening to a full album. I assume another singer might have the range or originality to spin things up a little. It works better as a standalone than an album track, but the rest of the band are great as always.

‘Solitude‘ begins with a duet between guitar and bass – sweet and moody – and then the vocals start. Is that even Ozzy? Well, clearly they’ve listened to my previous comment as the vocals are almost entirely different on this one. The song isn’t quite trance-like, but it is lovely, hypnotic, sad. The lyrics are of the broken heart, I miss you type, and the whole song is mostly quiet and slow to echo the sentiment.

‘Into The Void‘ is the other big hitter of the album, closing the album with another famous riff which sounds like a, well, a giant Iron Man strutting down your street and happily munching on rooftops. Eventually the chugging joins in and we take things up a notch. Ozzy’s back to the more familiar vocals and the lyrics are back to more of what we expect. The pace picks up once more in the middle for a brief high speed slice of tomfoolery before returning to the verse and main riff. It’s a popular song, it’s easy to see why.

It’s another consistent and strong album by Sabbath. They haven’t made a bad one yet in my journey, although this one does feel the most ‘Sabbathy’. It has their key sounds, but it also has those trademarks which remind me why I was never their biggest fan. While the rhythm section is as superb as ever, the lack of variety in the vocals and melodies does become apparent, and even the individual riffs are great and the timing changes up multiple times per song, there is the sense that songs become repetitive. I think that’s more my issue with the genre – so dependent on slow, booming riffs, and songs that often stretch out longer than is necessary, with maybe less aggression or less emotion than I would like. Like I say, those are just my issues with the genre and the band, and plenty of others will love the music for the exact reasons I don’t. I still recognise the strength of the songs, certainly of the musicianship, and there isn’t a song here I’d have a problem hearing again. Just not many I’d actively pursue hearing.

Nightman’s Playlist Picks: After Forever. Solitude. Orchid.

Nightman Listens To – Black Sabbath – Debut (Top 500 Metal Albums Series)!

Greetings, Glancer! Or should I say ‘Greeeeeeeee-tiiiinnnnnnnnngs, Glaaa-aaa-aaaanc-eeeerrrrrs’? Because that’s Doom Metal – slow, foreboding, and pretty much single-handedly created by Black Sabbath. Hailing from the ‘why would anyone want to live there’ town of Birmingham, featuring Ozzy, Tony, Geezer, and Bill Ward, Sabbath is the band most people would call the first true Heavy Metal band. Now I know there’s a whole argument surrounding when Metal as a genre truly started, and that there were Metal or Metal-esque songs before Black Sabbath. In reality, that’s all bullshit. Other acts had been playing heavy music before, other bands had even coined the term, and other artists had been writing lyrics about war, death, demons, and all of that creepy stuff years earlier, but the fact is that Black Sabbath was the first to mix it all together and craft it into a uniquely evil sound – the riffs, the tone, the vocals, the foreboding bass, the thunderous beat, the lyrics and image and surrounding hysteria all swirled into a single package, and thus Heavy Metal as we know it today was born.

Some of my personal feelings on Black Sabbath; I’ve probably mentioned it elsewhere on the blog, but I’m much more of a Black Sabbath Greatest Hits kind of guy. I’m almost certain I’ve heard this album (and others) the whole way through, but in general it’s the same key songs I listen to. It’s not like Metallica or Maiden or any of my other favourite bands where I enjoy the mid-album, non-single tracks as much as their hits, no, with Sabbath it’s mainly their hits. Mainly, as there are a few non-hits I have in my rotation. With that being said, it’s a while since I’ve listened to a full Sabbath album and so I’ll be rectifying that today with their 1970 self-titled debut.

The seven songs here feature two cover versions, both given that Sabbath once-over, but it’s their original material and their title track which are the most infamous. The band was critically derided when they first arrived on the scene as sub-standard heavy blues rock with silly lyrics, but their debut was nevertheless a commercial success. Later critics would come around. It’s funny that all of the Satanic Panic hogwash was assigned to the band by their followers and the surrounding media, rather than the band themselves. Of course, they would lap it up. Before we get stuck in, lets have a gander at that cover art:

Now I don’t know about you, but that artwork has always struck me as genuinely creepy. The washed out colours, the desolate surroundings, the apparently begotten building, and of course, the pale faced banshee blasting a cursed gaze into our souls with her pit black eyes. Is she a demon? Is she a nun? Is she even a women, because with the right amount of liquor she kind of looks like Ozzy. You can see where a thousand Black Metal bands got their artwork inspiration from. When most Metal bands try to be sinister or scary it comes off as ridiculous, like when a toddler tries to punch your shin in a genuine attempt to cause serious injury. Here, I feel it works – that creature, though forlorn, has clearly been up to no good in that house in the background; she’s probably killed a family, stolen the baby and stashed it up her habit, and is now walking towards us – with every diseased step pressing decay into the very Earth, scorching the ground for eternity, with every step she gets closer to reaching out through the artwork in your hand and placing her maggot-wet fingers around your throat, squeezing as the first shimmer of a smile creeps from her lips. Or maybe she’s just the woman from the Scottish Widows commercials who got caught short on the way to pick up some Insurance. Life Insurance. For her dead husband. WHO SHE MURDERED AND ATE!

Black Sabbath: I’ve spoken before in these posts about the critical importance of first impressions. Your first song has to nail it. That’s exactly what Sabbath does with their self-titled track. It’s not a pleasant experience. Remember, this was 1969/70, the height of hippy happiness and love and all that balls. These guys open their career with the sound of rain and funeral bells. Then that huge riff comes in like a bomb, the final note wriggling like bait on a hook, while Ozzy announces the immortal ‘what is this that stands before me’. It must have been a shock when it was released, and taken as a whole there wasn’t anything else like it. There’s an ounce or two of theatricality as Ozzy howls ‘oh no no please God help me’ and when the song gets up to a gallop they unleash an unholy noise which kicked soil over the eyes of the hippy dream.

The Wizard: It wouldn’t be 70s without some harmonica. Even it is given an evil spin, yawning out like an ogre stretching out of bed before an morning snack of bones. The guitar follows the yawning before branching off into a set of furious riffs of its own. Ozzy’s vocals aren’t amazing technically, but they are unique and fit the overall tone. Even with the volume and Ward’s manic drumming, this is a jive.

Behind The Wall Of Sleep: A lesser known song, it still packs a punch. It feels like an improvised jam, but it’s very tight. It’s the central riff – not one of Iommi’s best – which brings the whole thing together. It’s another mixture of blues and heavy rock with a little taste of funk, but the growl of the guitars and the technicality send it firmly into the realm of metal.

NIB: One of the most famous bass solos ever – probably the most famous until For Whom The Bell Tolls. Then the main riff comes in, and it’s very Cream inspired. That’s fine as they crush it with sledgehammer power. It’s the first song where the lyrics seem Satanic, calling out Lucifer by name. Even though it’s a love song where the devil becomes good. It’s the middle section I really love here, on top of the great riff – everything from the ‘my love for you’ melody, all the way through the extended instrumental section is terrific. Then they swirl it all around and run through it again.

Evil Woman: Not an original I was ever familiar with until I searched it out to see what the fuss was about, Sabbath’s take is slower, lower, and grimy. It does feel quite poppy, especially that chorus, and almost doesn’t align with the tone of the rest of the album. In the US the song was replaced by the original Wicked World which probably is a better tonal fit even if it is a pretty upbeat and bouncy song too.

Sleeping Village: Yes, back on track with a sinister opening and some sort of Didgeridoo stuff going on. Apparently it’s called a Jew’s Harp, but that sounds offensive. The song loses its way after the intro and doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be, beyond a series of random chords and tumbling drums. If anything it’s a showcase for how good Ward and Butler are.

Warning: We close with a cover, and it’s a long’un. 10 minutes plus. Again, I’m not familiar with the original. I don’t think I have any real need to hear it. I do like how the previous track bleeds into this one only for a funky riff to take over. It’s mainly an instrumental and each member gets to show off, but it shows how tight they were as a collective unit too. Solos and rattling and rumbling all tip over each other, compliment each other. There’s some crazy guitar in the middle of this, proving that Iommi wasn’t just a riff master but could shred with the best of them too. And it just keeps going.

Definitely a case of the first half being stronger than the second. The second isn’t bad by any stretch, but it doesn’t compare with the near perfect first half. The best of this and the best of their next album would have made for one hell of a record. As it stands, it’s still one of the great debuts and a must-listen for anyone really. Even if you’re not a rock or metal fan, no music fan should pass it over as a vital part of history. If you are a rock and metal fan, then there’s no excuse. Some of these songs should be etched into your being.

Let us know in the comments what you think of Black Sabbath!

Nightman’s Playlist Picks: Black Sabbath. The Wizard. NIB.

Nightman Listens To – Heaven And Hell – Black Sabbath (Top 500 Metal Albums Series)!

Greetings, Glancers! It didn’t us long to get back to Black Sabbath. This time though we ring the changes, as Ozzy Osbourne has been replaced by the great Ronnie James Dio. I definitely know at least two of the songs on offer here, but I’ve never heard them in relation to the album. There honestly isn’t a lot to say about the album artwork – it’s not very Metal, but it does have smoking and gambling and big-titted Angels, so I guess it kinda sorta almost qualifies. I don’t have much else to say, so lets do this!

Neon Knights: Well, this certainly has a different sound from early Sabbath. It sounds eerily similar to Broken Algorithms by Manic Street Preachers. Dio’s vocals are a major part of the transformation but even before he start singing the guitars are chunkier, the tone isn’t as melancholy, and the sound is more upbeat. This being Dio, he’s singing about more fantastical subjects. It’s faster than what I tend to think of when I think of Sabbath, there’s not a slow, doom riff, but there is a blistering solo.

Children Of The Sea: This is one I do know, and again it feels more like a Dio song than a traditional Sabbath song. Lyrically, tonally, there is a definite shift. Possibly this is as much to do with the time that had passed since Sabbath first emerged and that they didn’t want to plough the same fields. In any case this is a slower groove, opening in an acoustic ballad style before crunching chords and funky bass come in. The two parts meld well and there’s another Iommi skin-melter in the middle.

Lady Evil: A fat bass intro hints at a more traditional Sabbath sound, but that’s blown away when the guitars drop. The drive and tone is more like a halfway point between 70s Rock and 80s Hair Metal. It’s silly fun, you’ll punch the steering wheel if you drive to this, but it doesn’t have the atmospheric edge of Sabbath’s best or the grandiosity of Dio’s. A perfectly fine album track.

Heaven And Hell: The title track and the other one I know. I hate to keep repeating myself but once again it feels like a Dio song rather than a Sabbath song. It also feels like a Maiden song – specifically Rime Of The Ancient Mariner. It goes without saying, but Dio’s vocals are exquisite. Like that Maiden song, there’s a long and meandering instrumental section. This one picks up during the instrumental, solo and drums gathering speed before a frenetic climax and half a minute of quiet tinkling.

Wishing Well: Another light-hearted rocker with that 70/80s hard rock vibe. Not much to say beyond the fact that it’s a driving rock song – more great bass work, the drums haven’t been as noticeable on the other tracks but they do standout here. It’s a simple, straightforward, fist-pumping song that everyone can enjoy.

Die Young: An atomospheric, spacey intro goes into more prog sounding territory than what Sabbath would usually try. It doesn’t last and we rapidly thunder into the fastest song so far. This one is very Maiden-esque too, it’s only lacking the double guitar thrust. We withdraw into a nifty little quiet, spacey section before embarking on another leg of insanity.

Walk Away: A mid-paced stomper raised by Dio’s character and quality. It’s a simple song once more with not many detours, although we do still get a decent standalone section for the solo to fit into.

Lonely Is The Word: The closest thing to a riff led song so far, this has a very simple, very repetitive riff. It’s a slow one with a terrific layered guitar section from around the two minute mark which just keeps going, reminding us what a talent Iommi is – not just a master of riffs he can peel off fiddling fret work with the best of them. Dio does his best with the vocals but the melodies don’t allow him to hit any real emotive heights. As if to highlight the master of the guitar work the band steals one of Page’s moments from Stairway To Heaven and deploys it as a keyboard refrain as the song fades out. An epic closer which could have been better if the vocal melodies were more potent.

A very consistent album with no weak link, this is an album which sounds fresher than it should given that it was released in the 1980s. It manages to circumvent most of the problems metal would suffer from in the 80s. While none of the songs, on first listen, have the impact of an Iron Man or a Paranoid, they are a lot of fun and the band feels almost rejuvenated. It always takes time to hit your stride when you onboard a new vocalist, but this is a promising start. I haven’t heard much of Sabbath’s 80s input but if it’s all like this then I’ll have no complaints.

Let us know what you think in the comments!

Nightman’s Playlist Picks: Die Young. Neon Knights. Children Of The Sea. Lonely Is The Word.

Classic Rock Band Tier – Ranking Classic Rock Bands

Greetings, Glancers. It seems like this tier malarkey is all the rage these days, and every blogger, vlogger, and their embittered uncle is thrusting their own flaccid list into the unexpected orifices of subscribers. Not one to be out-thrust, this post will be my own grading of a list of bands. Before I get to that, I should point out that I only found out about this nonsense via my watching of Become The Night – a Youtube channel run by a musician and metal fan called Mike. If you’re into reaction videos, metal, prog, insightful and entertaining rants on the current state of popular music, then it’s one of the more eloquent and knowledgeable channels out there, while remaining fun to watch.

Mike seems to have used a site called tiermaker which allows you to create your own lists and categories, and drag and drop items into each, before sharing on Facebook or wherever. That link above takes you to the same list Mike uses in his video. In my post I’m going to go through the same artists, but give my ranking on each. It’s partly a response to Mike’s video, partly because I’m curious to see where I would rank each act, and partly because I couldn’t think of anything more interesting to write about today. I should talk a little at the outset about where Mike and I differ. Obviously, obviously, each person is different, with our own tastes, preferences, baggage and all of that will greatly determine how we rank anything, no matter how objective we try to be. If we’re being 100% objective, there would be no point in doing the list because one ranking would be the official ranking. Mike is big into production when it comes to music – listen to any of his song reaction videos, any of his videos really, and he’ll harp on about production quite a lot – the mix, the tone, the tools – he knows a hell of a lot more about it than I ever will and that’s mainly because I simply don’t weigh production as highly as he does in terms of making a song. I’m being slightly tongue in cheek, and admittedly naive because obviously Production is one of the most important aspects of recording music. It’s just that for me, it lies a hell of a long way behind talent, melody, emotion, and lyrics.

Lyrics and emotion are two points where I differ from Mike, and maybe from a lot of other fans. Where Production for me roughly falls into three large categories – crap, okay, and good, Mike has a highly trained ear for the slightest flaw (perceived or otherwise) in a recording and mix – I don’t. My ear is much more attuned to emotion – I can easily tell if something is false or disingenuous, much more so than your typical listener and (without getting too wanky) I have a finely tuned degree of empathy when hearing and feeling any song. In Mike’s own (near enough) words, he doesn’t give a shit about lyrics and considers music and the playing of instruments as the most important element in creating a song.

He’s wrong of course, and is not accurately defining the difference between music and song, at least as both have existed since the start of the 20th Century. Sure a song doesn’t have to have lyrics to be considered a song, but most do, while a song usually needs (but not always) music before being called a song. Ignoring lyrics is essentially ignoring half of a song. It’s one of the prime examples of how music and listeners and artists have been dumbed down over time, to the point that most people ignore lyrics unless they’re deliberately provocative or ridiculously inane. Otherwise intelligent people have been taught to ignore words in songs, because words in songs have lost all meaning. If music is to become intelligent again and move away from its current mass-market, junk food approach, then lyrics need to be part of that equation. As always, I’m writing this off the cuff and chucking generalizations around – I’m aware that lyrics have been silly for most 20th and 21st Century popular music, but even The Beatles grew from childish declarations of love to often near God tier poetry. In Epic Poetry, lyrics told the stories with a cast of hundreds, sung to music which has been lost over time while the words remains. Popular music began showcasing more intelligent lyrics in the mid-sixties, but since it there have been more troughs than peaks in the art form, with the best lyrics tending to come from either cult acts or those with a small following. Various sub-genres of rap obviously focus heavily on words, perhaps moreso than the music. From a Business perspective, lyrics don’t sell, music does. It’s a little frustrating then when he berates modern acts (correctly) for being vain, reductive, and repetitive in terms of music and lyrics, but then completely dismisses the lyrics of some of the best songwriters in history. It’s partly because his favourite acts are shitty lyricists anyway (Dream Theater anyone?) It’s fine though, he mainly defines songs in terms of music while I define songs in terms of the whole package which comprises a song – a piece of music usually designed to be sung.

Enough bullshit for now, lets look at how his tier looked at the end – if you’re curious it’s probably best to watch his video first (plus you’ll probably find it more entertaining than this).

That’s not the easiest to see, so here’s a more clear list:

S: Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd. Steely Dan. Queen. The Beatles

A: Cream. Creedence Clearwater Revival. David Bowie. Elton John. The Rolling Stones

B: ACDC. Aerosmith. Billy Joel. Deep Purple. Jimi Hendrix. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Rush

C: The Who. Fleetwood Mac. Black Sabbath

D: The Eagles. Grateful Dead. Bob Dylan

F: The Doors

Naturally, posting a list like this to a large audience on the internet is going to lead to all manner of angry frothing and gesturing. How dare someone else have an opinion, especially one that is so different from mine! Mike has a much larger audience than I do, so I imagine he’s got a lot of hate over some of these choices. Because people are precious of the things they love, and because people are dicks. I disagree with some of his choices, as I will show in my own ranking, but I understand that he is who he is and I’m not here to change his mind. Or anyone else’s. As always, leave a comment here and share your own ranking and reasoning. But there’s no sense in arguing because this is almost entirely subjective and based on our own shit. If we try to be objective, then we have to fall back on tangible metrics such as sales, chart history, longevity, influence, followed up by less tangible stuff like musicianship, lyrics, originality. I’m not sure who even came up with this list of artists, or how they define each tier – I think there are too many tiers and I would replace a few of these acts with ones I deem much more suitable, but I’ll cover these ones anyway.

So lets follow Mike’s ranking from the bottom. The Doors – it was pretty obvious from the outset that Mike would stick The Doors here. He’s not a lyrics guy, and perhaps more than any other act on this list The Doors relied more on lyrics and atmosphere than music. Being a lyrics and atmosphere guy, I rank The Doors much higher. The band were also massively influential (maybe more in terms of redefining what a front man can be) in terms of lyricism and songwriting, they’re undoubtedly one of the most iconic acts of all time, and of course they sold and charted a bunch and are still spoken of highly today. I love a lot of The Doors songs and for a while they were one of my favourite bands. I fully admit that a lot of their catalogue is a little iffy – I credit that to the use of keyboards more than anything else. I agree that Morrison doesn’t have the greatest voice from any technical standpoint, but it continues to moisten panties in every generation which is more than I can say for most vocalists. As much as I like The Doors, there’s really only a handful of songs which I can say I both love and which had an impact on a wider scale. For example, Love Streets is probably my favourite song by The Doors, but it’s not one you ever hear people talking about it. Ray Manzarek was a beast on the keys, it’s just that the sound now feels dated and cheesy. Densmore – a decent enough drummer, nothing special. Krieger had some great riffs and solos and as a band they all experimented and stretched the boundaries of popular music – something Mike claims to pine for.

Next up, The Eagles. In what is going to be a recurring theme for this post, I’ll have to take a step back and state that I’m not American. In my part of the world and in the time that I grew up in, no-one gave a shit about The Eagles. They made Hotel California and… that’s it? I know they were a massively successful band but I think most of that success was internal to the USA. For whatever reason they never crossed the shores to me. They’re a band whose back catalogue I have wanted to get into, and I’ll probably get to them in the future on this blog, but for now they are looking like an F. The same will go for The Grateful Dead, except they don’t even have Hotel California. Bob Dylan, I’ve never been a huge fan of and in most cases the songs he’s written that I have liked, have been performed by other artists whose versions I much prefer. Again, he’s someone I know I need to listen to and will. Known for his lyrics, I’m hoping those will have something I can enjoy and distract me from his voice. Either way, I probably wouldn’t include Dylan on this list at all.

The Who haven’t been given enough credit by Mike, presumably because he hasn’t heard enough by them (admitting again that many of the bands I will rank low will be because I haven’t heard a lot of their stuff). The Who are arguably the most energetic rock band of all time – Mike mentions that ACDC are ranked higher for him because he appreciates their energy even if he doesn’t like many of their songs. The Who knock ACDC out of the park in terms of energy. Keith Moon is unquestionably one of the great drummers, Roger Daltry’s voice can strip paint and lull a heart-attack victim to sleep, while Pete Townsend is at the forefront of progressive music. Of course Townsend would class his stuff as Rock Operas rather than concept or progressive albums, but they fall under the same wider umbrella of telling a larger story with linking themes and songs. The band is rarely mentioned as pioneers, but I think they influenced both metal and punk as well as rock overall. Admittedly they don’t have as many hits as some bands here, but their sales and longevity speak for themselves. Great lyrics too.

Fleetwood Mac is a band I should love but I haven’t bothered going from album to album yet. I do love quite a lot of their songs so I can only assume there will be others I’d like, and they crossed more successfully than other bands that bridge between rock and pop. Black Sabbath, as Mike points out, are probably the first metal band. At least in terms of what we think of as Metal today. We all know Ozzy isn’t the most appealing of vocalists nowadays, but back then he could belt it out and that’s what it was all about – being loud, being aggressive, and being in your face. Tony Iommi is probably second only to Jimmy Page in creating memorable guitar riffs. While the band quickly ran out of steam, their first few albums remain essential parts of metal. They’re far from my favourite band, but I appreciate what they did, the ground they broke, the fans they awakened. I take them more as a greatest hits band – a few songs from each album would make one single great album, leaving the majority of stuff I pass over.

The B and A tiers are where I will change most stuff around. Starting with ACDC. I’ve never been a fan – I think they’re the prime example of pop music under the guise of rock. I feel the same way towards ACDC as I do towards hair metal – sure ACDC is more authentic, but it’s marginal. ACDC is just a better Status Quo. They’re the Nickleback of the 70s and 80s. I just can’t take them seriously, with their lyrics like a bad Carry On movie or a thirteen year old boy’s idea of sex. Sure they have some memorable riffs and the odd decent song, and they’ve sold more albums than is humanly possible… doesn’t mean they’re any good. I’ve never liked any of their singers either – ever skinned a fox? While it’s still alive? Neither have I, but that’s what I think Brian and Bon sound like. Only their sales keep them from being lower.

Aerosmith I used to like when I was a kid. They had a couple of decent albums in the late 70s, then again in the early 90s. I can’t say too many of their songs have really stayed with me over time – while I like them, they’ve fallen away while songs from other bands have kept afloat. Mostly a fringe band for me, I don’t have anything bad to say, but I don’t have any massive positives either, beyond liking (not loving) a lot of their songs. Billy Joel is an artist who, until a few years ago, I had no idea had sold so many records. This must come down to not being American again. As an outsider I knew Uptown Girl, and that one about not starting fires, and that was about it. Yet he is somehow one of the biggest selling artists of all time? How did I not know this? Is it like Garth Brooks syndrome and it’s only idiots buying multiple copies of his stuff? Actually, let me check Wikipedia to see if I know any of his other stuff – there must be songs I know that I wasn’t aware were by him. Nope. There are songs there which I have probably heard, but don’t recognise from name only. He’s another I’ll have to delve into on the blog. For the purposes of this post though, he’ll be going low.

Deep Purple was always a dad rock band to me, even when I was a kid. There was another kid on my street when I was growing up, and his dad loved Deep Purple. They were always playing when I was in his house. Incidentally, it was in that house that I first watched (most of) John Carpenter’s The Thing. Another example of a movie being put on and then us sneaking in unattended. Anyway, it took me a while to actually listen to Deep Purple for my own purposes, and in truth I still haven’t heard most of their stuff. I know their biggest songs, but little beyond that. Jimi Hendrix on the other hand I know fairly well. There’s no doubting Hendrix’s skill as a guitarist and there are quite a few songs I like. The problem is there are very few songs of his I truly love. He broke ground as a front man – ground which remains to this day largely, and sadly untouched in rock and metal. As a vocalist though he was quite limited, but I think it’s his style of singing which gets on my nerve more than his actual voice – a languid funk which never changes from song to song. Hendrix’s songs also come almost entirely from within the psychedelic period and are therefore of their time much more than many other artists here. If he’d been alive longer I have no doubt he would have branched into other territory and made stuff I liked more.

Lynyrd Skynrd. Another quintessential US band and therefore another band I don’t really give a shit about. Mike’s a Southern guy so I can understand him liking this lot. For me, there’s Free Bird and nothing else. Rush is a band people have been telling me to listen to for so long that I’ve given up caring. Maybe I’ll listen one day. The few songs I’ve heard have had elements I’ve liked. But they’ve also had Geddy Lee. I have little doubt I would like Rush if I took them time to listen to their stuff properly – I just haven’t done that, or been given the impetus to do so. Into A and Cream – nope. They didn’t last nearly long enough or sell nearly enough or chart highly enough to be in this tier. Sure, they were influential, but mainly in setting up acts a few months later who were much more influential and much better. Creedence Clearwater Revival – I used to think they were a made up band, like Spinal Tap. Then I found out they were real. I still didn’t care. Another band for Southern US guys trapped in time – a poor man’s, no, a destitute man’s Led Zep. Honestly, I only know a handful of their songs – their covers I don’t care for, Proud Mary annoys the nips off me, but I quite like Bad Moon Rising. 

Man, I should have made a video for this instead of typing. But that would take more effort. Bowie next – if you follow my blog you’ll have seen me going through the Bowie albums – I’m up to number 86 or something by now. I think it’s clear by now that Bowie is someone I appreciate and respect more than I actually like. He does have some songs I love, I have found some songs I’ve liked. I’m not a fan of his vocals or delivery, and too much of his stuff is in the glam genre which I like as much as I like Country music (not at all). But credit to changing the game, to always trying something new stylistically, and for pushing boundaries. Elton John I probably wouldn’t include on the list at all – he hasn’t been rock since the early 70s, and even then it was touch and go. I can’t think of a single Elton John song I love, and there are very few I like. I haven’t listened to a single album by him so there could be a treasure trove of stuff out there, but I’m very aware of all of his singles.

The Rolling Stones are wildly hit and miss for me. I can’t remember if I’ve posted it yet or not, but I am starting to go through their albums again. I’ve listened to all of their albums up until the mid 70s before, but they didn’t make an impact on me. 10 years later I’m doing it again to see if my opinion has changed. Just that short bluesy stuff doesn’t do a lot for me personally, and they had so many covers and almost covers in their early days that it’s a slog to get through. Jagger is a great front man without being a great singer, and the rest of the band are just okay. But they’ve sold so much and they’re still headlining, and some people genuinely prefer them to The Beatles. Led Zep – you know my feelings – I think they’re the greatest classic rock band of all time. Pink Floyd – immense in all the tangible categories, great lyrics and emotion too. I like patches of their early and later stuff, but it’s that run from Dark Side to The Wall which cements them – four flawless albums. Steely Dan – I haven’t posted it yet, but I have already listened to and written about one of their albums (A Royal Scam I believe) and as far as I know that’s the only stuff by them I’ve heard. I need to know more to adequately comment, but based on that single album they’re not top tier. Queen are as big as they’ve ever been and their songs have already proven to stand the test of time. The Beatles I probably wouldn’t have included here, but they were the turning point so it’s fine. Either way you cut it, they’re top tier anything. Lets take a look at my ranking:

A little different then. And because it’s not very clear, and because I don’t like the categories, I’m going to rejig it a little below:

A: Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd. The Beatles

B: Queen. The Who. The Rolling Stones. David Bowie. The Doors.

C: ACDC. Aerosmith. Deep Purple. Jimi Hendrix. Fleetwood Mac. Black Sabbath

D: Cream. Elton John. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Rush. Billy Joel.

E: The Eagles. Grateful Dead. Bob Dylan. Steely Dan. Creedence Clearwater Revival.

That looks better. Or worse. Who knows. If it was me, and because I am me it most likely is, I would have replaced Elton with Bruce Springsteen, The Beatles with Alice Cooper, Steely Dan with Thin Lizzy or Motorhead, Billy Joel with Santana, The Grateful Dead with The Kinks.

Right, I’m done with this. Think differently? Chuck in a comment. Want me to do more reaction type posts to Youtubers or lists or other nonsense? Tell me to. Want me to listen to any songs by any of the artists I’ve ranked low above? Let me know and I will. Adios for now!

 

Dumb dumb dumb-dumb-dumb! Do-be-do-be-do-be-do- Iron Man!

Iron Man is a remake of the bizarre and pointless Australian film Testi: Iron Man. That film was black and white and messed up. America doesn’t like that sort of thing (neither do me) so they decided to turn it into an excitement film instead. Interestingly though, neither film features any appearances from any Black Sabbath member. There could have been a fight between Iron Man and Tony Iommi, or Ozzy could have been supplying Robin Downy Jr with drugs and liquor, but maybe then this wouldn’t have received the U rating.

The film is a rip off of of Batman- a billionaire playboy who is worth millions, who is nameless in a stark twist, likes to build robots and sell them to bad guys in evil places like Egypt. He is bored with his life and fancies a change, so he turns himself into a half man – half machine – half bird creature, and calls himself Iron Man. After his parents are murdered, he realises his purpose is revenge. He covers his body in the latest weaponry- guns, lasers, big knifes, and learns to fly. After a brief training montage (running up hills, lifting cars, shooting targets – showing his skill and fitness progress), he flies to a terrorist country and kills the bad guys. That’s about it really. Quite shallow, but some good actions and graphics. I don’t think anyone else famous was in the movie, though I was pretty drunk on whiskey while watching it. I think it was an attempt to start a new franchise so maybe more things will happen in the next film – The Man Of Steel will return to a cinema near you next year or two!

Best Scene: When Iron Man is learning to fly and he keeps zooming into the ceiling of his barn and whacking his head. What a chump!

Has He Thoughts Within His Head?