Movie Trailers 2016 # 9

* Note – originally written a few months ago

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Almost Christmas

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Never heard of it. Tired and grumpy Danny Glover. Haven’t seen him around for a while. Ensemble. White man. Balls in your mouth. Seems okay, usual raunchy humour.

Things To Know: A large family spends Christmas together for the first time since the death of the matriarch.

Whos To Know: Directed by David E Talbert (First Sunday) and starring Danny Glover, Gabrielle Union, and Omar Epps.

The Neon Demon (Trailer 1)

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I’ve only started hearing about this recently, even though the trailer has been doing the rounds for months. Amazon Studios. I was going to enter their script-writing thing but I’m too lazy. Dreams. Modelling. Stylized. Ah right, Nic Refn, that would explain it. Catwalks. Getting a Black Swan vibe. Cold. Detached. Violence. Interesting enough, but I still have no idea what it’s about.

Things To Know: A psychological horror movie based in the world of fashion and modelling.

Whos To Know: Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive) and starring Elle Fanning, Christina Henricks, and Keanu Reeves.

When The Bough Breaks Trailer 1

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Trying to have a baybee. Surrogate. She looks evil already. She gets a slap. She moves in. She strips. She dresses. Annnd she goes crazy. Women – amirite!?

Things To Know: The trailer pretty much tells you everything.

Whos To Know: Directed by Jon Cassar (La Femme Nikita), and starring Morris Chesnut, Regina Hall, and Jaz Sinclair.

The Birth Of A Nation (Teaser)

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Pianos. Fields. Slavery? 12 Years with a religious twist. Uprising. Looks solid.

Things To Know: A drama based on the true life Nat Turner rebellion. Apologies, but this is the first I have heard of such things.

Whos To Know: Directed by and Starring Nate Parker (Non-Stop) and also featuring Armie Hammer and Penelope Ann Miller.

No Men Beyond This Point

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Well, the trailer lists the movie as a mockumentary. First shots show the documentary style, appear to be talking about an alternative, fictional history. For some reason woman are now the dominant force on the planet with a much higher % of the population being female. Comedy. Satire. Stargate! Looks interesting and funny.

Things To Know: A mockumentary set in the modern day where heterosexual sex has almost vanished and the youngest man in the world is 37 – political parties fight over men’s rights.

Whos To Know: Directed by Mark Sawers and a bunch of people from Stargate – Patrick Gilmore, Peter Kelamis etc.

So, none of these five I will be seeing in the Cinema, but at least three of them I will catch on DVD or streaming. A decent mixture of genres here too. Let us know which you are looking forward to.

Movie Trailers 2016 Part # 8

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Our Kind Of Traitor

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Scary foreign places! Scary foreign friendlies! Maguffin. Take this to the cops! Certainly sir. Everyman roped into globetrotting political intrigue. Mark Gatiss. Seems like an interesting thriller with presumably twists and turns, but one for TV not Cinema viewing, surely?

Things To Know: Based on the book by John La Carre about a Russian Mafia boss trying to defect to the UK when he fears his life is in danger

Whos To Know: Directed by Susanna White (Nanny McPhee) and starring Ewan McGregor, Damien Lewis, and Naomie Harris.

The Secret Life of Pets Trailer # 2

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I’ve seen the trailers for this a few times as my kids are busting to see the movie (note – since writing this post 2 months ago we have seen and loved the movie). No need for the horrible car sponsorship intro. A fine cast of characters from arse-wipe dog to cake-eating cat. Great premise, ripe for plenty of universal humour. Monty Python. System Of A Down. Plenty of jokes in the trailer, hope they’ve saved some for the movie.

Things To Know: A bunch of well-groomed pets get in trouble with a bunch of strays and have various adventures around NYC. 

Whos To Know: Directed by Chris Renaud and Yarrow Cheney, and starring a host of stars from Louis CK and Steve Coogan to Dana Carvey and Albert Brooks.

A Monster Calls Teaser Trailer

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Scary Neeson voice. Spooky gates. Irish. Lonely boy. Treebeard. Adventure. Loads of effects. A challenger for Pan’s Labyrinth’s crown?

Things To Know: Based on the book by Patrick Ness and Siobhan Dowd about a boy whose mother has terminal cancer who is visited by a story-telling monster.

Whos To Know: Directed By J. A. Bayona (The Orphanage) and starring Liam Neeson, Sigourney Weaver, and Lewis MacDougall.

Angry Birds Trailer # 2

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I’ve seen these trailers a few times too, and it looks better than what you would expect. Naturally I’ve never played the game but it looks like they’ve crafted a decent plot out of its carcass. Again it looks like animation is where the best storytellers and ideas are.

Things To Know: Based on the inexplicably popular game, this sees birds face off against pigs in some sort of catapult siege warfare.

Whos To Know: Directed by Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly, this again has an ensemble of voice actors including Maya Rudolph, Sean Penn, Bill Hader, and Peter Dinklage.

Dr Strange Teaser # 1

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Darkness. Voice. Rain. Oh look, it’s another Marvel movie! Yay? Benedict Cumberbatch… noooot a big fan. I don’t really know much about the character. Bald Swinton. Updated Matrix. Parallel worlds.

Things To Know: Based on the Marvel character – a doctor who learns mystic stuff after almost dying in a car crash.

Whos To Know: Directed by Scott Derrickson (Sinister) and starring Cumberbatch, Ejiofor, McAdams, and Mikkelsen.

Movie Trailers 2016 # 7

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Sky

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Oh look, another I’ve not heard of. Country twangs. Relationship trouble. Murder. Lou. Odd accents. Casinos. Darryl. Bar fights. Sky. Well, it seems like a TV movie, aside from the decent cast. Nothing riveting on display.

Things To Know: As the trailer suggests, a woman leaves her husband while on holiday and embarks on a blah of self discoverblah.

Whos To Know: Directed by Fabienne Barthaud and starring Diane Kruger, Norman Reedus, and Lou Diamond Phillips.

Suicide Squad Trailer 2

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The one everyone has been waiting for. I don’t know much of the history of this, but I do think the premise is interesting and has a lot of potential. the first trailer was good, but I think the movie will have to be something special to avoid being just another comic book movie. There’s certainly a lot of carnage and a bunch of interesting ‘looking’ characters, but will they get enough screen time or will it be another case of too many players for fan service purposes only?

Things To Know: Based of the comic characters from the DC Universe, this sees a group of baddies forced into saving the world from something even…. baddier.

Whos To Know: Directed by David Ayer (End Of Watch) and starring an ensemble cast including Jared Leto, Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Cara Delevingne, and Affleck.

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them Teaser

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Intrigue. Creatures. Some sort of Harry Potter spin-off. I haven’t read any of the books or seen any of the movies at time of writing. Not a huge fan or Redmayne. But that’s probably just because of his face. I’m sure it’ll be ok and do well, but it looks a bit boring to me. But then I’m not invested in the stories or characters.

Things To Know: Based off the JK Rowling book of the same name it is a prequel to the Potter series and first in a planned trilogy (where part three will inevitably be two movies).

Whos To Know: Directed by David Yates (Potter Series) and starring Eddie Redmayne, Colin Farrell, and Samantha Morton.

TMNT Trailer 2

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Haven’t all these recent TMNT movies performed badly, and been critically mauled? Naturally I was a big fan of the original cartoon series, if not the original movies. Massive effects and budget and buildings collapsing spaceship transformer beasts zooming around. And of course some Megan Fox slow mo. Is that Sheamus? Bebop and Rocksteady. Casey Jones. They’re all in it. Where’s Krang? I’m sure it’s fine for the kids, but looks a little meh.

Things To Know: Sequel to the 2014 movie, based off the hit comic series, this movie sees Krang invading NYC and the Turtles trying to thwart him.

Whos To Know: Directed by Dave Green (Michael Bay) and starring Megan Fox and Stephen Amell and others.

The Family Fang

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Quirky family troubles. Artists. The boy who cried wolf meets Gone Girl. Or something.

Things To Know: Based on the novel of the same name about a couple of performance artists who embroil their kids in a series of trolls, but now they’re all ground up and/or elderly.

Whos To Know: Directed by Jason Bateman (Bad Words) and starring Nicole Kidman and Christopher Walken.

Which, if any, of these bad boys will you be seeing? Let us know in the comments!

Movie Trailers 2016 # 6

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

The Bye Bye Man – Teaser 1

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If it looks like a horror and sounds like a horror – it’s probably a horror. This feels incredibly cheap, like a straight to DVD. Urban legends. Passively excusing evil. No no, of course a human couldn’t be that evil, it must be drugs or computer games or music or Satan. Still, as you know I actively excuse horror films for being terrible as long as there are some good kills and assorted scares and antics.This appears to be fairly generic even if it may have an interesting premise, but I’m all for a new horror icon to join the pantheon. Not 100% what’s going on in the trailer, but enough to get an audience of teens into the screenings I’m sure.

Things To Know: Based on a short story by Robert Damon Schneck the film follows a group of college students stalked by the titular supernatural entity who appears to be capable of possession.

Whos To Know: Directed by Stacy Title (The Last Supper) and featuring Doug Jones, Faye Dunaway, Carrie Ann Moss, and Douglas Smith.

Manhattan Night

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Adrien Brody. Looking smug. Roped into a suspicious investigation. Sex. Beatings. Voyeur. Crowley. She’s psychologically clever you know? Ha ha, what a terrible line. Why are the pretty ones always insane? Glorious ball of fire. This is looking more and more like having the worst screenplay EVER. And the trailer basically tells the entire plot. Unless it’s a lie. IS IT A LIE!?

Things To Know: Based on a novel by Colin Harrison about a crime reporter who becomes embroiled in a weaving tale of mystery and blackmail.

Whos To Know: Directed by Brian DeCubellis and starring Adrien Brody, Jennifer Beals, and Yvonne Strahovski.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (and bonus second trailer)

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I thought this was called Bad Neighbors 2. I haven’t seen the first one yet but it looked amicable enough. Awkward (normal) sex. Normal (awkward) talking. Similar looking gags to what I saw in the trailer of the first. All fine and dandy, I’m sure I’d get some easy laughs out of this. And the cast is always watchable, even with Rogan’s laugh. Not gonna pay to go see it on the big screen though, think I’m made of money?

Things To Know: This sequel flips the scenario from the first film so that it is now a group of rambunctious girls causing trouble and strife.

Whos To Know: Directed again by Nicholas Stoller, and again starring Rogan, Byrne, Efron, and adding Moretz.

Mothers And Daughters

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Oh dear. Sappy words and piano and the ravages of time. Man it’s gonna be awesome when everyone dies and comes back in the ghost dimension as the perfect versions of themselves and we don’t have to worry about looking too old or young or fat or thin or weird. Or something. Looks like a great cast. But looks like they not being put to good use. Crazy paranoid parents. Annoying detached kids. Such is life, peeps! We’re all dicks! Ha ha, men understand NOTHING and have NO PROBLEMS! This looks as patronizing and offensive as murdering a school of children and then blaming them for it. Oops. Steer clear, ladies. And everyone.

Things To Know: A films about mothers and daughters. A fine idea, but this looks to be entirely ghastly and filtered through an incredibly narrow middle class lens. Mermaids it ain’t.

Whos To Know: Directed by some bloke and some other bloke, and starring Stone, Sarandon, Ricci, Cox, Blair, Ashanti, probably others who already regret it.

L’Attesa

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Driving. Glances. Mansions. Binoche. Voyeur. Eyes. Stylish. Mystery. Vibe of Don’t Look Now. Tell her the truth. See, it isn’t difficult to make a trailer that doesn’t show a lot. Then again, maybe there isn’t anything to show. I’d need to know a bit more about this and hear some reviews before watching.

Things To Know: Also known as The Wait, this came out least year in various places, and sees a woman living with the fiancee of her son while hiding a secret.

Whos To Know: Directed by Piero Messina and starring Juliette Binoche and Lou De Laage.

Another selection of five movies for your enjoyment, so let us know in the comments which (if any) you are looking forward to. There’s at least three above I plan to catch at some point in the future, but none which leap out as a must see. What about you?

Movie Trailers 2016 # 5

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Blackway

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Here’s another I’ve not heard of. Liotta and Stiles in a seedy bar. Stalking. Liotta does Pesci. Vikings. Anthony Hopkins does Clint Eastwood. This appears to be a revenge thriller with a stellar, but bizarre cast. One for streaming if the reviews are good.

Things To Know: Based on a recent novel, this sees a woman returning to her hometown to find that it is being run by an ex-cop turned criminal who takes a psychotic interest in her. Rather than run, she takes the fight to him with a couple of unlikely friends.

Whos To Know: Directed by Daniel Alfredson (The Girl Who Played With Fire) and starring Anthony Hopkins, Ray Liotta, Julia Stiles, and Alexander Ludwig.

The BFG

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No Doom fans, not that BFG. I have the book, but haven’t read since my childhood, don’t recall it as one of my favourites. Nice effects, hopefully the performances are good. I’m sure it’ll be entertaining as it’s Spielberg, but there isn’t enough in the trailer to make me think a lot of kids would want to see it.

Things To Know: Based on the Roald Dahl classic about a giant who befriends a lonely girl.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Mark Ryland and Ruby Barnhill.

Memoria

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Memories. 11/22/63. Reaching out to help kids avoid making the same mistakes you did? Plotting. Bullying. Booze drugs skateboards. Killer. This one doesn’t give too much away, and shows just enough to interest some people.

Things To Know: Based on a short story by James Franco.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Vladimir de Fontenay and Nina Ljeti and starring Franco, Thomas Mann, and Teo Halm.

I Am Wrath

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Looks like another revenge thriller, similar to quite a few we’ve seen in recent years. Man takes on thugs. Possibly man will dance. Having said that, I do like the old ‘scumbags get their comeuppance when one man army hunts them down’ movies, as long as they’re done well. Naturally recent movies have focused more on the gritty side and a very loose look at the moral side of revenge, and this seems no different. Will be interesting to see if Travolta can pull it off.

Things To Know: After witnessing his wife’s murder and the corrupt police forces inability to press charges, an unemployed engineer and his friend use their mysterious past to take matters into their own hands.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Chuck Russell (Elm Street 3The Mask) and starring John Travolta, Rebecca DeMornay, and Christopher Meloni.

David Brent: life On The Road

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I don’t like The Office and I cannot abide Ricky Gervais, a talent-free man riding on the coattails of many much smarter and funnier people. But some people like him. People are strange. Safe to say I won’t be watching this. He said ‘cumming’. It’s not funny in the way it thinks it is, nor is it funny in any other way.

Things To Know: A spin-off from The Office.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Gervais and starring Gervais.

Wellity wellity well, which one do you want to see? All? None? Nein? Let us know in the comments!

Movie Trailers 2016 # 4

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Search Party

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Ooh, red band. Can’t say I’ve heard of this, so I wonder if there will be blood and guts. Desert. Mexico? So it’s a comedy? Yes. A stoner version of The Hangover, with an uglier cast. Various unlikely escapades. Bro. These overtly male comedy movies aren’t really my sort of thing, looks like several others from recent years.

Things To Know: This had an international release in 2014, so it doesn’t bode well that it’s taken this long to get out elsewhere. The film follows a bachelor party, failed wedding, and attempt to win back both the bride and the groom.

Whos To Know: Directed by Scot Armstrong (writer for Hangover Part II, Road Trip) and starring Thomas Middleditch and Shannon Woodward.

Tale Of Tales

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Once again, I haven’t heard of this one. Some sort of fairytale inspired fantasy. Salma Hayek. Vengeful Queens. Vincent Cassel. Not sure what’s going on. Seems like a mixture of fairytales with a modern adult twist, intriguing enough but is it on par with Pan’s Labyrnith?

Things To Know: Based off a 17th Century collection of fairy tales, this adaptation will focus on three stories and has so far garnered good reviews praising its visual style.

Whos To Know: Directed  by Matteo Garrone (Gomorrah) and starring Salma Hayek, Vincent Cassel, Toby Jones, and John C Reilly.

Hard Sell

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Boy, girl, mum. Not sure who is mum and who is girlfriend as they both looked identical. I feel another coming of age romance where the unlikely guy gets the unlikely girl in the end. Mother drama. Become something. Not a lot here to get me on board.

Things To Know: The story revolves around a poor kid in a rich school who team up with a rebellious rich girl to get money from various schemes and turn each others’ lives around.

Whos To Know: Debut film from Sean Nalaboff and starring Katrina Bowden, Skyler Gisondo, and Kristen Chenoweth.

Swiss Army Man

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I don’t know, Paul Dano usually pisses me off in the same way that Kevin Spacey pissed me off. Suicide attempt. Miraculous salvation. Ah yes, the farting corpse. I have read about this one before. This one looks completely buck nuts, probably not one I’d pay for but wait till it comes to Netflix etc.

Things To Know: Debut film by a directing duo, this has seen mixed reviews due to its bizarre content but strong performances.

Whos To Know: Directed by Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, and starring Paul Dano, Daniel Radcliff, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Blood Father

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It’s been a while Mel, welcome back. Gritty. Bearded. One man Mel army? So, Mel is a tough guy who’s trying to save/protect/rescue his daughter from the police/mafia/bikers/murderers? Might be a interesting enough action drama.

Things To Know: Adapted from the book of the same name about a father protecting his estranged daughter.

Whos To Know: Directed by Jean Francis Richet (Assault On Precint 13 Remake) and starring Mel Gibson, Elizabeth Rohm, and William H Macy.

The most varied list so far with a range of genres and subjects tackled. Which ones are you looking forward to, and which are you going to skip – let us know in the comments!

Movie Trailers 2016 # 3

Look! Look at the things! Sparkly and new and full of intrigue, like a child fresh over the fields on the first day of Summer, shoving their hand into a muddy hole in the ground and yanking out fistfuls of gem-encrusted spiders. Why are they there? What do they do? Why are they biting me? MUMMY!? That’s right, it’s time for more trailers!

Alice Through The Looking Glass

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My eldest daughter wants to go to the Cinema to see this one, but I don’t know if she’d actually sit that long. She does like Tim Burton’s first Wonderland movie, but my memories of it aren’t too pleasant. It all looks very pretty/grim as is Burton’s way, and I’m sure it will make a crapload of money, but I don’t think I’ll be paying. The start of the trailer feels a bit like Return To Oz which is always good.

Things To Know: The sequel to Burton’s Alice In Wonderland.

Whos To Know: Directed by James Bobin (The Muppets, Flight Of The Concords) and starring Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, and Helena Bonham Carter.

Mother’s Day Trailer 2

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You don’t see much of Julia Roberts these days, do you? Light laughs. Ha ha, dads are shit. Ha ha, young people are shit. Good cast, but looks pretty bad. I think y’all know I won’t be seeing this. Neither will you.

Things To Know: Various families with various problems encounter various hilarious tribulations. There are probably no sharks. It’s actually already out and has unsurprisingly been panned by audiences and critics.

Whos To Know: Directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman, Beaches) and starring many many people from Julia Roberts to Jennifer Aniston and Timothy Olyphant to Jon Lovitz.

The Invitation

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I don’t believe I’ve heard of this one before. Shady business. Intrigue. Old friends and new. Suspicion and discomfort. Cult, paranoia, religious speak. Okay, the trailer doesn’t give a lot away but is interspersed with the usual plaudits from critics. I’ll keep an eye out for reviews of this one as it could be one to watch in the future.

Things To Know: Seems this one has already been released too, via a limited release and on demand, so I’ll watch out for it. This one has a great score on Metacritic and focuses on a man and his new girlfriend meeting for dinner with his ex-wife and her new boyfriend. Probably best not to read any more into it.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Karyn Kusama (Girlfight, Jennifer’s Body) and starring Logan Marhshall Green and Tammy Blanchard.

Everybody Wants Some!!! Trailer 2

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Looks to be following in the grand tradition of Porky’s and American Pie, a kid’s experience at college with booze and beauties. Aah, Linklater, so there will be a touch of class. The trailer looks okay, again a good cast, but if it wasn’t for the director’s involvement I’d probably steer clear of this. If it’s anywhere as good as Dazed And Confused then it’s sure to be great.

Things To Know: Another with a limited release, bizarre given the director’s recent success, this follows a gang of college baseball players as they navigate their way through the antics of freshman year.

Who’s To Know: Directed by Richard Linklater (Boyhood, School Of Rock) and starring Blake Jenner and Zoey Deutch.

The American Side

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Tesla. I’ve read a few fictional and non-fiction works about him. Conspiracy vibe. I like Camilla Belle, never gets any credit. Great cast. People are always claiming Tesla had a time machine and other assorted novelties. Not too many noir films around these days, at least in the US. Ahh, Niagra Falls, I get it. Looks interesting, but would be nice to know a bit more about it.

Things To Know: I can’t find this movie on Wikipedia, but appears to be about a bunch of people trying to find some missing invention by Nikola Tesla.

Whos To Know: Ricker, Stuhr, Belle, Broderick, Bachleda, Forster, Vaughn, Garofalo.

So, which of the above movies are you salivating over? Dirty boy! Let us know in the comments.