Manic Mondays – POLITICAL EDITION!

Gasp! Caps Locks! Rage! Other words! In lieu of my usual copy pasted lyrics for Monday, I thought I would share an update which some readers may not be aware of. It’s a little political and a little triggering, so be warned.

I don’t usually mess with politics because in most cases I – A: Don’t care, and B: am under-informed, generally because of A. And C, because Northern Irish politics is a cesspool of oneupmanship, shouting ‘YEOOO’ at each other, and features a cavalcade of embittered lunatics, many of whom come from either backgrounds in terrorism or entrenched religious nonsense, or both. We all know politicians, at least those with the power to make a difference, tend to be in it for the money and the power trip with no care for the desires or needs of their constituents until something comes along to either personally offend them or risk them losing their position. Bonus points at the back if you correctly guessed that many of our politicians lack any respectable level of education. For all the Americans bemoaning the antics of the current dudes in control – our politicians have, repeatedly, been found guilty of fraud, tax-dodging, attempted murder etc – yet by and large they same people keep being elected and re-elected. And what do they do when they’re elected? Well, they throw their toys out of the pram and refuse to work together.

And so today, for the first time in over 1000 days, Northern Ireland’s politicians have decided to return to work. Finally, a breakthrough in the deadlock has come, and people from all sides are finally sitting together to work through their differences for the good of the people – right? Something important must have popped up to get them back into their cushy, well paid seats, something like Brexit, right? Wrong. On both counts. You see, because we have been floating on our own for so long, the dudes in mainland Britain have needed to make sure we don’t all set ourselves on fire, strip off, and go hunting mammoths up on Cave Hill. A few months ago during one of these routine Government meetings, a couple of brave souls decided to provide a couple of Amendments concerning Same Sex Marriage and Abortion. Both of which have always been illegal in Northern Ireland, contrary to the rest of Britain, Ireland, and the sane world. The law reversing this goes into effect at Midnight tonight, meaning women will have freedom of choice over their own bodies and lives, and the LGBT community will take one further step out of the dark ages after decades of difficult work.

Except the politicians are aware of this. And the politicians don’t like it. Hiding their faux-religious righteousness, faux morality under the guise of their slanted view of Democracy, they’ve have decided to head back to work. Three years without lifting their fingers, and now they decide to slope out of bed just to do whatever they can to prevent human rights. Honestly, if these guys shared as much fervour in their day to day jobs as they do inflaming their own inexcusable bias, maybe we wouldn’t be such a shit-show. Arelene ‘no, that’s probably not my own hair’ Foster, with a face like a trampled sphincter has assembled her cronies and is going to squeeze every last bit of skewed public venom into making sure that change never comes.

Thankfully for the rest of us – the educated, the civilized, the future, time is not on her hands. Arlene, with a face like a banshee’s rash, needs a fully elected organisation by Midnight which means she needs support from the group she doesn’t want to play ball with. And those guys have already said ‘not a chance, love’. So, this time tomorrow Northern Ireland may have entered a new enlightened age. I don’t imagine things will go smoothly; both have been contentious issues for decades, hence the reason both have not been legalized previously. I can foresee more ranting and frothing from politicians. I can see more protests and marching, and probably the odd burnt out car as we are wont to do. But change is gonna come and that train is gonna keep on rolling, no matter what Arlene, with her face like a bovine mistress, tries to do to stand in its way.

Joking aside, lets hope this proves to be a watershed moment for human rights in Northern Ireland. I appreciate there are many who have deeply held believes opposing both issues, but I tend to not have much sympathy when their opposition is based on religious belief. Your religion should not dictate how anyone else lives their life and it certainly should not prevent widespread choice over an entire country. If the Christian God gave us Free Will, shouldn’t we be allowed to choose for ourselves? Anyway, tune in tomorrow for more movie reviews and fart jokes.

Nightman’s 31 Days Of Horror For 2019

(Note – I wrote this on August 15th 2019)

mash

Greetings, Glancers! I’m going to call this at the outset – I probably won’t complete this mission. Contrary to the four billion or so posts I write every week about movies and music, I don’t watch as many movies as I used to – at least not on a regular basis. So much of my time outside of work and family stuff is taken up by gaming and TV, reading and writing and hunting tramps – that I don’t have the luxury to watch a movie a day. I wanted to give it a shot, and if I can rope in the kids and wife to help out it will make things easier. Therefore, the post below actually contains more than 31 films – some will be family friendly, some will be more thriller based to rope my wife in, some are classics I’ve already seen and try to watch every Halloween, but most will be films I haven’t seen yet or haven’t watched in a long time.

That’s about it – I know many of my fellow bloggers and horror movie fan friends will be doing something similar. If I get through 10 of these I’ll be happy, but whatever I don’t cover I’ll aim to finish by the end of the year. Reviews will come at some point. I’ve picked movies which are currently on/should be on Amazon, Netflix, Now TV, or I have recorded at some point off TV. Here we go:

Ghost Stories          Freehold          Aaron’s Blood          The Laplace’s Demon

The House With A Clock In Its Walls            Thirteen Ghosts

Take Shelter          Poltergeist Remake          Halloween (Original)

Halloween 2018     Deadtime Stories      Body Count

They Remain          Ghost Ship         The Phoenix Tapes 97          Ouija

The Perfection       The Purge          It Comes At Night          Trick R Treat

The Girl With All The Gifts             Love           Would You Rather

The Divide            Silent House Remake          House

Cube Zero             The Love Witch          Pet          Bordello Of Blood

Inferno                 Crawl                 Goosebumps 2

It Chapter 2         Dead Of Night (both)    Hell Fest

Let me know in the comments if you’re undertaking a similar challenge. If you’re not that brave, feel free to share any of the scary movies you plan to watch in October and those you watch each Halloween!

Band Name Generator

Continuing this silly series, we make the inevitable leap to rock super-stardom. We all want to be rock stars, but to get there you need to have an exciting, game changing name. Like ‘Bob Dylan’ or ‘The Band’. For those future stars more interested in money and cars and boobs and who lack the creativity to come up with a name more addictive than a heroin flavoured puppy, I offer you a variety of hilarious options to choose from.

BAND

By way of example, Carlos Rudiger Nightman becomes Pueblo Friendly Twats, a sure fire rocket to the top spot after they release their first single ‘Fiery Turds’. Let us know what you come up with in the comments!