A Movie Fan’s AI Christmas Bonanza

Greetings, Glancers! Cold, innit? It is here, on the North Coast of the North of Ireland where the price of oil, coal, the bodies of slaughtered heathens, or whatever else you choose to burn to keep your home toasty, has been skyrocketing since silly Mr Putin decided to flick his microscopic shlong South without consent. Luckily, Christmas is around the corner and we’ll be briefly distracted from these and other woes as we partake in the grand old tradition of giving, and more importantly, receiving gifts. There will be booze, TV, and lots of sitting about not worrying about work. Tis truly the most wonderful time of the year.

Here is my gift to you; A sporadic collection of AI generated art featuring some of my favourite movie icons celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Santa F’n Claus. I hope it brings you some festive cheer, and that you huddle around your smartphone or laptop with your loved ones to enjoy some lovely, memory-building laughs.

Darth Furder
Thumbs up – knobs out
Dr Nope
Shaken, stirred, and highly disturbed
Some Like It Hot
Merry Christmas, Mr President
Some Like It Not
Ho Ho No
Rockin Around The Zuul Tree
Your Foster Parents Are Dead
Memetic Poly Alloy Ho Ho
I Know Now Why You Cry
Anyone not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day, get it?
Dead or alive, you’re coming with me
Can you cry, Bobby?
If it sings, we can kill it
I’m gonna have me some fun
You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch
Have Yourself A Very Phallic Christmas
Just You…..And I….
So I Was Like… ‘sometimes my arms bend back’
So much as, you know, disembowel children
The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it. While looking like this.
That thing you do with your mouth that boys like
How sweet, fresh meat
Wanna suck face
Welcome to prime time, bitch!
O Holy Night, Batman
Pure…. West…
This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be millionaires
The Seven Days Of Christmas
Frolic in brine, goblins be thine
… and a Sadako in a pear tree

Merry Christmas!

Funny Me Do

Greetings, zzrrrrp! It’s that time again where we can remember some classic jokes from that noted Galaxy famous comedian, The Man’s Daddy. If you like to laugh (cry) then open your ears and LUKE AT THUS!

Q: Why is the planet Mars so red?

A: Because so many ginger people live there!

Q: Why do bees buzz?

A: Because they’re not tuned in properly!

Q: Who does Paul Weller look like?

A: My friend’s dad!

Q: What do you call a monkey with mustard on its hands?

A: Poupon 7!


Funny Me Do!

Listen to this, you slag! In an effort to make a more regular feature on this mistake of a blog I thought I would tell a daily joke. A: Because everyone else does it, and B: because I’m not funny. Do you see?

Then I realised the error of my thought ways and decided that rather than coming up with funnies of mine own, why don’t I just re-post some classics!? So that led me to a stalwart of me younger days- Digitiser. Surely no-one on wordpress would know it (I was mistaken as there are better blogs than mine which mention it- go read them instead).Now anyone who knows me (no-one) knows that I enjoy surreal humour. I grew up with Vic and Bob and and a variety of other shows which my (I assume mostly) US readers will not be familiar with. Digitiser was a television service which was like a cheapo, early version of the interwebs. You went to channel 4, hit the teletext button on yer remote control, and had access to a variety of services- TV guides, quizes, sports, news, and weather channels- some updated daily, some hourly, some rarely. Digitiser was based around the terrifying world of videogames- a daily magazine offering news and reviews. Except that it was written by a couple of mad men. Often times humour came first over gaming journalism, and most of the humour was very surreal and very funny. There were memorable characters, funny pics, and more weirdness than you could shake a giraffe at. By it’s trunk. On top of the hilarious replies to wisdom challenged viewers who would write in (often making fun of their names) some of my fondest memories were the jokes and the fake movie scenes. These would mostly be nonsensical non-sequiters- just the sort of stuff I like and you don’t.

So, for my regular feature I will try to re-post some of these classics and bring the genius to another audience. Who knows, I may even throw in a few jokes of mine own. Moc moc a moc.  Have a taster, love:

Q:Why do whistles go “wheeee”?

A: Air blows through them

Do you see?