Amazon Vine Freebies – September 2016

So, you may have heard me bemoan September as the worst month ever. Most people go for January – it’s cold, wet, Santa has abandoned us for Tropical shores, etc. September though sees the beginning of the year’s descent into old age and senility as we leave the warmth and freedom behind to head back to school and work and all of that crap.

But Amazon decided to change things, for us lowly Viners at least. Yes, this month Amazon made the curious decision to lift the five item and thirty day limit. For those who don’t know, since the inception of Vine, participants have been required to review each item they choose within 30 days of its arrival – and have never been allowed to have more than 5 items not reviewed at a time. Those days are gone my friend, and as such every no-self-respecting Viner has been picking every damn thing available. Well, not quite. There are those who continue to abuse the system by taking everything possible and flogging them on Ebay to make a tidy sum, but they are being casually weeded out by Amazon and the odd entitled Viner. For me, I have continued to pick the items I want and continued to use and review them, though now I am more flexible in what I choose – resulting in a wealth of gift sets and stationary arriving at my door. Have a gander at what I picked in September:

Wahl Li Beard Trimmer

Chun’s brother.

Nivea Sensitive Gift Set for Men’s – 2 Pieces

Your brother.

Rapesco Hole Punch and Stapler Set with 1,000 10/4mm Staples

Your Puncher

ACE Breathalyzer AF-33, TU-Vienna-measurement accuracy: 97.9%, UK-Version

Your Honour.

AmazonBasics Microfibre Flat Sheet, King – Olive

Your Other (woman)

MIRALBA Women’s Jasmine Cashmere Jumper, Black, Small

Your Mother

Joseph Joseph The Entertainer Pizza Wheel and Waiter’s Friend Gift Set – Multi-Colour, 2-Piece

Your Technicolour

Silentnight Brushed Cotton Fitted Sheet Set, White, Double

Your Other Other (woman)

Amazon Vine Freebies – June 2016

Right, time to catch up with my Amazon Freebies. Like being jealous? Enjoy feeling envy? Look below and click the things to see the treats Amazon bestowed upon me in June of last year. In lieu of screenshots I’ve written some ‘hilarious’ Led Zep ‘associations’.

Ultrasport Women’s Jacket (White)Ultrasport Women’s Jacket (White)

Wearing and Tearing

GreenPan Non-Stick Casserole Pot

Custard Pie

Garnier Ambre Solaire Suncream For Kids

Down By The Seaside

Scott Of The Antarctic

White Summer/Black Mountain Side

Star Wars Workbooks – Reading 6/7

Battle Of Evermore

Command Purely Purple Hooks

Gallow’s Pole

 

 

Amazon Vine – April 2016

After a rough start to the year, where the Vine Gods sought to abandon me in the wilderness for 90 days and nights with only Staplers to keep me company, April rolled around and brought with it fresh hope and new items to clasp around my self.

Philips FC6168/62 2-in-1 Upright and Hand Held Cordless Vacuum Cleaner, Pet Hair and Anti-Allergen

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It sucks up pet hair… and Allergens!

Hex

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A book about Witches and Dutch people and stupid people. It’s pretty good.

Kazooloo DMX Board Game

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An Augmented Reality game not starring everyone’s favourite rapper turned ex-rapper DMX, Kazooloo is really rather terrible.

Lux High Protein Flapjack

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They taste exactly like you’d imagine – like the suddenly prolapsed sphincter of a sleeve-tattoo adorned try-hard who spends more time looking in the mirror than a Wicked Fairytale Queen.

Thoughts? Share!

Amazon Vine Freebies – January – March 2016

Lean post-Christmas months I’m afeard, so not much to show. Just look at this balls – three months and only two free things! This is possibly the worst thing to have ever happened in the history of the human race. Anyway – have a gander.

We’re In The Wrong Book

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A couple of kids bend space, time, and reality by getting sucked out of one book and into several others. Help them! Help them now!

Rexel JOY Magazine Rack

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Oh Joy! A magazine rack!

Amazon Vine Freebies – December 2015

….and may all your Christmases be shiiiittteee! I hope everyone has roasted their nuts suitably and are waiting to put their hand’s on Santa’s sack! Here meanwhile, I was provided with these lovely festive extras.

Maybelline SuperStay24H Dual Ended Lipstick 170 Crystal Shock Amber 9ml

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It’s lipstick. Shocking!

Maybelline Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner 01 Black

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It’s eyeliner. Lasting!

Buzz Bee Toys Ultra Master Tek Blaster

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It’s a gun. Blasting!

L’Oreal Paris Volume Million Lashes Waterproof Mascara Black 9ml

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It’s mascara. Waterproofing!