Movie Trailers 2016 #1

Greetings, Glancers! Today I try something new because I can never focus on one thing for too long. I hope this can be a semi-regular thing, but because I can never focus on one thing for too long it may turn out to be a semi-quarter-irregular thing. But what is the thing? If you’ve read the title of the post then help yourself to a smiley faced sticker because you’re right! I’m going to look at all the lovely new ‘moovee traylurs’ and give my immeasurably valuable thoughts on them. You see, I’ve always loved the excitement of trailers, especially back in those pre-internet days of yore. Turning up at the cinema to watch Police Academy 7 or some such, and being treated to three or four upcoming movies was always a surprise and gave you something to look forward to – hope, in other words. Nowadays of course trailers are everywhere, available at the touch of a button or lick of a tablet – the good news is that I can find and watch and spout about them at any time, the bad news is that the whole business of trailers has become filthy and starched and idea free.


Most trailers nowadays are generic, few take risks, and most follow a similar format. And of course, now we have teaser trailers – short ten to thirty second cryptic blasts which typically show nothing of worth. Sometimes we even have teasers of posters, or teasers of teasers.

And they’re rarely as delicious as Mal-Teasers

It’s all very silly, and due to this I tend to rarely watch trailers anymore, unless it’s for something I have been looking forward to since the movie was announced. Nevertheless, here I am, ready and willing to watch all the things and see if any of them whet my appetite. As this is my first post (though I’ll probably split it in two) I’m going to go back a few weeks and cover a large number of trailers. I’ll include the links too, so you can watch. It’ll be fun! If it’s not, I promise you you’re money back.

Rogue One 


Lets get the big one out of the way first. I held off on watching this until last night, not for any particular reason though. I thoroughly enjoyed the trailer – it looks and feels like a Star Wars movie, that scene on the beach with the AT-ATs looks epic, and Donnie Yen is there, instantly making the movie a zillion times better (seriously kids, go watch every Donnie Yen movie, now). The main protagonist does feel like a Katniss Everdeen v2.0 though. I have been skeptical about the spin-offs, and as long as this doesn’t go into teenybopper land it is shaping up nicely.

Things To Know: The first official Star Wars Spin Off, this takes place between episodes III and IV and follows the Rebellion’s attempts to spy on the Empire and find out their plans for a new super weapon.

Whos To Know: Directed By Gareth Edwards (Godzilla, Monsters) and starring the likes of Donnie Yen, Forest Whitaker, Felicity Jones, Mads Mikkelsen, and Diego Luna.

Deepwater Horizon


Happy familes. Trying to make an oil rig exciting. Is this a sea monster movie? Ominous words. True story… no sea monsters then. Credit to not showing a lot, but then again maybe that’s a sign that there isn’t much to show. I’m sure this could be a perfectly serviceable drama thriller, but it doesn’t look like the sort of thing I’d go out of my way to watch.

Things To Know: A disaster movie based on the real life explosion and oil spill from 2010.

Whos To Know: Directed by Peter Berg (Very Bad Things, Lone Survivor) and starring Marc Wahlberg, Kurt Russell, and John Malkovich.

Love and Friendship


Jaunty ye olde Downton music. As a rule I am not a fan of period drama, or the ridiculous way people speak in these types of movies/shows, so already I’m biased against this. But it does have Kate Beckinsale. It seems to be about a bunch of rich people scheming and plotting to get richer. I can safely say there is absolutely nothing in this trailer to make me want to watch this film, though Beckinsale is always a plus.

Things To Know: Based off the little known Jane Austin work, it’s about a woman and her trials with society. Great.

Whos To Know: Directed by Whit Stillman (The Last Days Of Disco) and starring Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, and Stephen Fry. At least the cast is good.

The Lego Batman MoviTeaser 1


A ha, I think I’d heard of this a while back but forgot about it. Stop motion mixed with CG. Gruff Batman speaks. It certainly looks snazzy once the actual movie footage begins, filled with other famous characters. Unfortunate music though. I’m sure this will have some laughs, but it’s not one I’d be falling over myself to see.

Things To Know: A spin-off from The Lego Movie, this sees Batman having to work and play nicely with others to save Gotham from the Joker and probably other baddies.

Whos To Know: Directed by Chris McKay (Robot Chicken) and starring Will Arnett, Ralph Fiennes, and Michael Cera, and probably a large ensemble of other assorted favourites.

Last Days In The Desert


Ewan McGregor, wandering. Right, is this the whole temptation thing? Playing Jesus and the Devil. Looks different, though seems slow and vaguely intriguing rather than interesting.

Things To Know: Yes, it’s Jesus in the wilderness, having a palaver with Satan.

Whos To Know: Directed by Rodrigo Garcia (Passengers) and starring Ewan McGregor and Ciaran Hinds

War Dogs


This all seems familiar. Another loosely based true story featuring Jonah one half of an opportunistic, Facebook generation young’un who makes a ridiculous amount of money at the expense of innocent lives. Thinly veiled racism and casual celebration of commercialism and selfishness, though presumably this is all satire. It does just whiff of Entourage though, and all these glossy, ‘look at me’ movies instantly put me off. Jonah Hill is always watchable though, not sure how much of a lead he can truly be.

Things To Know: Based off a book based off true events about gun runners in Afghanistan.

Whos To Know: Directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover Trilogy) – who is a shittier version of the Farrelly Brothers, this stars Jonah Hill, Miles Teller, and of course, Bradley Cooper.

A Hologram For The King


Ok, last one for now. Tom Hanks, looking tired. Business bullshit. Same as it ever was. Thinly veiled racism? Tom Twyker WTF? Strange, this doesn’t look like a big money entry for Hanks. Nothing here that I would be overly interested in seeing either.

Things To Know: Seems to be about a businessman who goes off to Saudi Arabia to strike a billion dollar deal about hologram technology.

Whos To Know: Directed by Tom Twyker(Run Lola Run) and starring Sir Thomas Hanks and Ben Whishaw.

Wrap it up, wrap it up. Which one of these movies are you most interested in seeing, or are you fortunate enough in having seen any already? Let us know in the comments!

Tell it like it is!

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