Greetings, Glancers, and welcome to the first post in my countdown of James Bond songs. While I feel that each Bond song (except for one) contains something worthwhile, and that there aren’t really (except for one) any bad songs, there are clearly ones which I feel are naff, others are simply meh, while a handful are excellent. As always, don’t forget to insult my choices in the comments and help me find the true path by enlightening me with what you feel the best (and worst) songs are.
25 – Die Another Day (from Die Another Day) – Madonna
This thing. This monstrosity. Rarely has something so apocalyptically awful been wrought upon the ears of the honest movie going public as this not-song. Madonna had not been relevant since (the superb) Ray Of Light and felt that one of the longest lasting franchises in entertainment could be her way back. There aren’t enough swear words in human language to describe this turd – it’s the musical equivalent of eating yourself, ass-first. The only compliment I can give it is that it is a fitting noise for the worst film of the series, proving that faeces, like the T-1000, sucks in all other surrounding pieces of shit. I’m not even going to post a link to it, instead I’ll post a link to one of the worst things you’ll ever hear – it’s still infinitely better than Die Another Day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW7xTz38eiA
24. We Have All The Time In The World (from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) – Louis Armstrong
A dirge by any other name is still a dirge, and this is one of the most overblown, overrated, viciously depressing scabs ever recorded. The opening 2 and a half seconds seem ok, but then it all goes wrong, like when you unwrap a gun for Christmas but blow your brains out trying to disengage the tag from the trigger. Held in high esteem by people I hold in low esteem, this is drivel source down to its lowest common denominator. You know what? I’m not going to link it either, instead here is another aural masterpiece by your’s truly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9Fpvcqy9AQ
Shocked by my picks of the two crappiest Bond songs? Let me know in the comments section below!