Hilarious Lyrics Translations – August 2015

Adele – Rolling In The Deep

Rolling in the shite, more like. Fuck I despise this song, and hey, why not, I despise Adele too. Everything about the Brit School bunch is an emaciating stain on music. Bland breeding and begging to the bland, it’s music for people who don’t listen to music. This song in particular was (and still is) unavoidable, whether channel hopping on TV or simply walking down the street trying to mind your own business, the incessant howling about love or bacon or something continues to make my head vomit. I’ve never paid much attention to the lyrics as I’ve been too busy running as far from the sound as possible to care, but today I’m going to churn them through the online translator tool and see what comes out. Maybe then I can be forever rid of this fucking disaster.

The Original

There’s a fire starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch, it’s bringing me out the dark.
Finally I can see you crystal clear. Go ‘head and sell me out and I’ll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you. Don’t underestimate the things that I will do

There’s a fire starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch And it’s bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless. I can’t help feeling We could have had it all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) You had my heart inside of your hand
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told. But I’ve heard one on you. And I’m gonna make your head burn.

Think of me in the depths of your despair. Make a home down there As mine sure won’t be shared

(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) The scars of your love remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all. Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand. But you played it, with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door (woah)
Count your blessings to find what you look for (woah)
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold (woah)
You’ll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (woah)
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) We could have had it all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

But you played it. You played it. You played it. You played it to the beat.

The Translation

There is a fire starting in my heart. Reached a fever pitch, it took me to the dark side.
Finally, you can see clearly your decision. Sold go ‘head and shit me and I will arrange with bare hands
See how I leave with every piece of you. Do not underestimate what I would

There is a fire starting in my heart. It reached a fever pitch dark and it took me

Reminded of your love hurt us think. They think it’s me, we’ll continue
Wound of your love, they leave me breathe. I can not help feeling that we could have all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) Rolling Deep
(The tears rolling deep, fall) You had my heart inside of your hand
(You will be going you never met me) And you bit, played it
(The tears rolling deep, fall)

Honey, I should not say it was more story. But I know you’ve heard this one. And I’m going to burn your hair.

Think of me from the depths of your despair. It certainly will not be shared with making a home there

(You’ll never want you met me) it hurt your love reminds us
(Tears rolling deep, is going to fall), they think that we are going to keep me in
(You’ll never want you met me) hurt your love, they leave me breathing
(The tears rolling deep, I fall) I can not help feeling
We have everything you could (you’ll never want you met me)
(Tears rolling deep, it is going to fall) deep rolling
You (do you want me not met) I had my heart inside of your hand
And you bits (the tears rolling deep, is going to fall), it played
We had everything. Rolling Deep
You had my heart inside of your hand. But you beat and play it

Through the open doors throw all your soul (wow)
Count the blessings to find what you are looking (wow) to
Turn my sorrow to the precious gold (wow)
You pay me back in kind, and (wow) The roots will get just what
(You’ll never want you met me) were with us all
(The tears rolling deep, I fall) was we did it
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) It’s all, all, all
(The tears rolling deep, fall)

We have everything you could (you’ll never want you met me)
(Tears rolling deep, it is going to fall) deep rolling
You (do you want me not met) I had my heart inside of your hand
And you play a bit (with tears rolling deep, is going to fall)

But you did it. You did it. You did it. You had to win.

The WTF

With the original lyrics being so bland, what usually happens is either we don’t get any changes of note when squeezed through the translation tool, or we get shocking blasts of WTF to give the song an invigorating redux. Here we get a bit of both, most of the lyrics are similar, just a little more messed up from the syntax side of things. We do get some nuggets though, such as a Star Wars reference, and the delightful ‘shit me and I will arrange with bare hands’. Just what everyone wants to hear, right? Rather than being pissed after a breakup, we channel our inner Glenn Close with ‘Honey, I should not say it was more story. But I know you’ve heard this one. And I’m going to burn your hair.’ This is clearly a vastly superior line. The closing line is much stronger too, replacing the twee ‘you played it to the beat’ with the more aggressive ‘you had to win’. Aside from that, there isn’t a lot to say. Try harder, white bread!

Alanis Morrisette – You Oughta Know

Now, usually I pick a random song from my Ipod for the second choice, but for today just for fun I’ve picked a song from a similar point of view to show how lyrics should be done. None of this ‘Scars of your love’ bullshit, but real, vicious, V for Vendetta, feelings when someone messes you up. It’s proof once again how far mainstream music has fallen since the late 90s, and even though there are just as many superb artists out there doing their stuff – they aren’t the ones getting recognised anymore.

The Original

I want you to know, that I’m happy for you. I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me. Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theatre?
Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother

’cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you’d hold me Until you died, till you died
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful. I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced. Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

’cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you’d hold me Until you died, til you died
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

’cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me

And I’m not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it…well can you feel it

Well, I’m here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

The Translation

I’m happy for you, I want you to know. All you have to do the best I can do anything
Or earlier. Is she perverted like me? Would she visibility you down in the theater?
What does she say that convincing? And would she have your baby?
I am sure that she would really make a great mother

‘No, you gave that love is not enough to make it wide open cause we made
Do you and she knows how to talk to me you’d hold me until you died, until you die, whenever you say her name
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you thought you left a mess when you go away
It is unfair to deny you gave me bear the cross of the day
You, you, you oughta know

You look peaceful days, it looks very good. Quite as well, I do not think you need to know
Did you forget about me, Mr. duplicity? I do not like bugs you in the middle of dinner
How quickly I was replaced insult. Do you have sex when you think of me and her?

‘No, you gave that love is not enough to make it wide open cause we made
Do you and she knows how to talk to me you’d hold me until you died, until you die, whenever you say her name
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you thought you left a mess when you go away
It is unfair to deny you gave me bear the cross of the day
You, you, you oughta know

‘Cause you were kidding me lying on the bed

And I’ll soon as you close your eyes, I’m not fade You know it
I do this again, and I hope others will feel it under my fingernails scratch every time … well you can feel the person it

Well, when I went away, I’m reminded that you thought you left a mess
It is unfair to deny you gave me bear the cross of the day
You, you, you oughta know

The WTF

A cogent, passionate poem of insults is transformed into the incoherent ranting of a cat woman. While we understand the point and the target of her fury, the writing once translated does not make a lick of traditional sense and is instead a series of spat out insults and half sentences. I thought, because of the opening line, that the song might have an inverted meaning after translation as ‘I’m happy for you, I want you to know sounds sweet and genuine rather than ironic. Unfortunately, sense is quickly lost and the words descend into madness. The only other interesting line is ‘Do you have sex when you think of me and her?’ And as we all know, the answer to that question is yes.

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