Hilarious Lyrics Translations – November 14

Please note – the following hilarious translations are not the same as the equally hilarious misheard lyrics, nor are they actual translations currently out there in Pop Land. All I have done is taken a famous song and slapped the lyrics into one of the famous (ly bad) Internet Translation tools – translated from English into Korean, then back into English, with hilarious results. I picked Korean because, based on previous experience, it seems to struggle in the funniest way with the English language, and vice versa. Each week (or month), I’m going to select some of the most famous songs of all times, of recent times, and throw in a few obscure favourites too, all for your enjoyment! Lets start the laughter right now!

Bonkers

An unspeakably awful ‘song’, Bonkers stormed the charts back in fuck knows when, and unsurprisingly had dicks up and down the country slapping words from their mouths in clubs, cars and other dreary places. Critics positively argue that it’s all a satirical take on the hedonist, celebrity lifestyle, but everyone with half a thought realizes it’s a cheap cash grab shrouded in the gnarled humming of a broken bumblebee. Having been plagued with it back then, enough time has since passed to take a Revisionist approach to the song. Spoiler Alert – it’s still shite.

The Original

I wake up everyday it’s a daydream. Everything in my life isn’t what it seems
I wake up just to go back to sleep. I act real shallow but I’m in to deep
And all I care about is sex and violence. And a heavy bass line is my kind of silence
Everybody says I got to get a grip. But I let sanity give me the slip

Some people think I’m bonkers. But I just think I’m free
Man I’m just living my life. There nothing crazy about me
Some people pay for thrills but I get mine for free
Man I’m just living my life. There nothing crazy about me

Bonkers

Mmmmmmmm

Bon, bon, bon, bon, bon, bon, bon, bon

The Translation

I wake up everyday it‘s grapefruit. It seems that not all of my life
I just got up to go to sleep again. I really shallow roles, but in the deep
I am worried about all the sex and violence. And heavy bass line is my kind of silence
All I had to grip. But the spirit of Let’s give a message to me

Some people think I’m crazy. But I just do not think I
 Man I’m just living my life. Nothing crazy about me
 Some people pay for thrills, but to get mine for free
 Man I’m just living my life. Nothing crazy about me

  Nutty
  Mmmmmmmm
  Bars, rods, rod, rods, rod, rods, rod, rods

The WTF

For any lyricists out there, a very important rule is to go back over your words and think a little outside of the box – just a tad so that you can come up with some unique, original twist which no-one will have heard before. Of course, you have to be careful not to stray too far from the path and risk alienating the entire human population. It’s a fine line between wacky and insightful, Lynch-mystery, and jumbled nonsense. ‘I wake up everyday it’s grapefruit’ is a perfectly apt opening line for a song entitled ‘Bonkers’. It’s both humourous and unusual enough for the more lyrically inclined amongst us to wonder what is really means. Is it bemoaning the routine of fame? Is grapefruit from underground term for drugs, or some inside joke? We may never know, and that’s probably for the best.

As you re-write your own lyrics, it’s entirely possible that a slight modification can cause a monumental shift in tone and meaning. The original Bonkers is quite clear in its admissions that fame can lead us to some unsavoury places and addictions, but the rewrite is much more poignant, with a serious of lines left hanging in the air, like the writer has simply given up. ‘I am worried about all the sex and violence’ could be the singer speaking about himself, about the world in general, or could even be a line he hears others whispering about him. Switching the title of the song to Nutty is questionable, but the ‘bars, rods rods’ finish is a definite improvement.

Fire To Your Plain

Tori Amos has always been known for her powerful lyrics, merging genuinely cutting satire, with emotional shock and awe tactics. Sometimes she goes completely buck nuts too and spouts apparent stoner filth. Fire To Your Plain is a middling effort, with nothing to bizarre or inspired.

The Original

Shock, got the shock of my life. Just buckle up girls, I’m stealin’ the night
From the still of the night What they’re down to Let’s see, in cold daylight

I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

‘Cause she’s all And I am low Watching you watching her play this game
Yes, she’s bold. Bold enough To set fire to your plain. Her fire to your plain

Pray. You can pray to your Jane. I put out the call But not to be saved
Called my Deviline kin With her yellow Aston Martin

We gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

‘Cause she’s all And I am low Watching him watching her play this game
Yes, she’s bold, Bold enough To set fire to his plain.

She said, “get in” And set the SatNav to hell. Or would it be a purgatory?

I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

‘Cause she’s all. And I am low Watching you watching her play this game
Yes, she’s bold. Bold enough To set fire to your plain. Her fire to your plain

Her fire…Bold enough…Her fire to your plain

The Translation

Shock, shocked in my life. Just buckle women, I said, ‘I’m stealing night
On a cold day, let down that they’re still in the night

I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

I see that she’s got and she sees this game cause
Yes, she is bold. Bold enough to set fire to the ordinary. Her ordinary fire

 Prayer. You can pray to Jane. I put the phone but you can not save
 Yellow Aston Martin relatives call her my deviline

 We gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

 ‘She is both a cause and a low she reported him to see the game
 Yes, she is bold enough to set fire to his normal, bold.

 She set the SatNav to go” and hell. Or is it purgatory?

 I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right

 ‘Cause she‘s all. Jeoyi game and looking at her watch and play
 Yes, she is bold. Bold enough to set fire to the ordinary. Her ordinary fire

 Plain bold enough to fire her her fire

The WTF

There actually isn’t much to say about the changes in this one, proving conclusively that Tori does indeed use Babelfish when writing her own lyrics. There is a little more of a masculine hardness and bravado to some of the lines. The only real noticeable change is from ‘plain’ to ordinary, and in the final chorus, the mention of a ‘Jeoyi game’ is surely one only the Korean fans will understand. Fan service is all well and good, but you don’t want to make things difficult for the people who don’t get the reference. In fact, I don’t think anyone gets it.

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