Godzilla: Whoa There, Big Fella!

Godzilla is the American version of the crazy Chinese/Japanese original series. Who else but them could come up with a name like Godzilla. It’s good that the Americans decided to keep this name rather than choose their own- it probably would have ended up being called Josh, or Todd, or The Big Dinosaur From Somewhere Unknown! The only other similarity is that Godzilla still loves to stomp around cities crushing buildings and eating puny earthlings. The bigger the building the better- The Entire State Building must be worth at least 200,000 points alone. Not to mention the mono rail and the Chewitts bonus received when lifting trains off the tracks.

The story goes: America has been experimenting with nukes in a sea far away. The creatures in the sea and on land are affected and mutated. Skip forward fiddy years and a huge earthquake has ripped through the ocean floor somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. A bunch of scientists go out to investigate the strange aftershock readings and find some bewildering things, such as giant footprints. It soon becomes apparent that the quake has awoken a giant dinosaur which was created by the nukes years before. The dinosaur is angry and wants to destroy mankind! It is swimming to the nearest city and so begins a race for the scientists to prepare the city for attack, but who would believe a story about a giant monster? Of course, Zilla arrives and begins punching, kicking, and chowing its way through London with relish. The effects are something truly special. It feels like you are really there, running between taxis, feeling the rumbles of the monster’s footsteps. You look up, way up and see its massive jaws towering far above- it must be as big as 3 men! There is much action, excitement, and funny, and some scary parts; Baby Godzillas chase hapless fools through a hotel and into the sewers. We turn to night vision and don’t see much; all we hear is some odd screechy noises. When the characters turn they see they are being followed by lots of yellow eyes in the darkness and so begins a terrifying chase through the London Subway. In an eerily medically accurate scene, one girl gets bitten and subsequently explodes from her wounds. Realism is key in this film, as it was filmed with a normal everyday cameracorder. Meanwhile the Big Daddy climbs the London Eye to get away from all the helichopters shooting at it, but nothing seems to stop it.

This is vastly superior to the original Black and White films. Firstly it’s in colour so it’s more believable. Secondly, they try to make you feel sorry for G’Z’A in the original, but here he’s just a big nasty brute who must be destroyed. Let me ask you- if you were being chased by a monster, would you turn round and ask it why it was so angry, and if it’s mother never hugged it? No! You would kick it in the gunells and be gone! If this film had been made before the originals then it would be held in higher regard than those ones, but unfortunately the originals were made first. I don’t know who starred in this movie, but I think Geoff Goldbum was there and Matthew Modine.

Best Scene: The tension between the boss of the scientists and the army boss is great throughout. The quote “I’m running this Monkey Farm now, Frankenstein!” is the highlight, just before Godzilla jumps in the window and pulls his legs off.

Monkey Farm

Tell it like it is!

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