Fright Night: I’m A Lover Not A Frighter

Fright Night contains Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Corey McCrory, and Vincent Price in a film starring those people performing in the capacity of actors as actors in a film. In this performance they all act as people in a situation involving scary bits and laughings. Most of the time I tend to often call these things ‘hilarious screamers’ because they mix the two most famous emoticons- fear and funny. Now let me say this (I’ll say it anyway, if you’ll let me): If you were being chased by a maniac with a knife- would it be funny? What if he caught you, and dove into your flesh with his blade- would you start laughing like it was Christmas? Even if you were running and he slipped on an apple skin, would you stop and start slapping your thigh at this slapstick marvel- nein, you would get out of there like a monkey from a box. Hilarious screamers really began in the 80s, with films such as Friday the 13th part 3 and The Exorcist. Featuring lots of gags and gores these provided popularity and box offices ticked to the sound of ticking tills. Fight Night (the first part of a trilogy and a loose remake of Night Of The Lovely Dead) was a calamitous success, the biggest of the three, bigger than it’s sequel (Fight Me) though not as big as the final part (Fight Club). I don’t like these films- I always have and I never will. I like my horrors to be horrific and my comedies to be comific. However, as a person, it is my duty to watch all screens, even ones I don’t like want to want to.

A young boy moves into a house in a city with his older brother, older mum, and dog- Wolfie. He is bullied at the new school by all the bigger boys for having stupid hair. He goes to his brother but he has started disappearing at night with local biker gang members- sleeping all day and fighting for his right to party all night. He tries to get his mum to help, but she is too busy having adult relations with a funny looking man.

I Vant Your Blaad!

His grandpa is senile so he resorts to sitting at a park at night time. He meets a young girl, roughly the same age as himself (several decades of age) who is very pale and doesn’t talk much. He likes her but she always disappears off into the night. Soon they form a friendship, meeting every night in the snow, but she never tells him how old she is or anything else about herself. They notice a new neighbour moving in- an old evil looking man, and imagine that he is a monster, an assassin, a lonely old prostitute etc. They are in bed one night when it collapses and he breaks his leg, confining him to his bedroom. He becomes obsessed with this new neighbour, watching his every move from his wheelchair. He believes he is a vampire. The girl thinks he is losing his mind, but can’t help too much because she in fact IS a vampire. Soon all the secrets come out and it turns out everyone is a vampire apart from the mum, who is a mummy. It becomes quite messy with all these twisting story lines, the best bit being when the girl climbs up the wall of the hospital and sets fire to the woman who likes cats. That was quite funny, but I don’t think it was meant to be. A big fight ensues with the boy and his other friends the Fog Brothers and soon they rid the town of vampires. The boy hides the girl in his suitcase though as she is a good vampire, and the four of them leave on a train, the Fog Brothers not knowing there is a blood sucking fiend of the night nestled in amongst their underwear.

Best Scene: When the 4 go to where the creepy old neighbour works- in a TV studio where he presents a monster programmathon. He slips on an apple skin and that is always funny, no matter what the presentation!

Rear Fright
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