American Graffiti: George ‘Apology Accepted’ Lucas Strikes Back!

American Graffiti is a Burroughsesque cut up segment movie about what George ‘Me’s a so sorry’ Lucas got up to when he was a teen in the 1920s. It seems that George ‘Warwick “Willow” ‘Wicket’ Davis’ Lucas liked to drive cars, avoid school, listen to rock in roll Muzak and get into various scrapes with girlies. Of course George ‘Never see me and Spielberg in the same place’ Lucas’s’s favourite past time was defacing local establishments with graffiti. George ‘Short Round’ Lucas and his gang would scrawl such witticisms as ‘Nerds suck!’, ‘Berry Rulez OK!’, and ‘I have visited Lola’s pants’ all over buildings and walls. They would ruthlessly organise ‘hits’ on certain places: homes of teachers and enemies, toilet walls (sometimes not with paint), and alleyways. ‘The Fonze Is My Daddy’, ‘School is 4 fools’, ‘LOLZ! I fragged sum Noob’s Ass on Halo 20 timez ROFL!’ and ‘George “we cannot agree to this Treaty, Senator” Lucas Waz ere!’ also make appearances. It’s all very funny and perplexing.

George ‘Strike Me Down’ Lucas directs his first feature feelim here and gathers together a cast of unknowns who would go on to remain unknowns, with the possible exception of Harry ‘Son’ Ford. It was quite a success for George ‘Akbar’ Lucas, earning him a lovely first pile of money and an Academy Award nomination. The film has an authentic 50s feels as all the characters have funny names like Curt, Chad, ‘Steve’ and Flapiddy Sshlap. The cars and clothes and musics and hair cuts are all fairly accurate proving that Gunga Lucas was about in those days and observed everything from his mother’s basement. We watch the lives of these characters over a few years, some race cars, some race tractors, some die, some go on to have successful careers. Of course the most successful career prize would go to George ‘I killed them all, even the children!’ Lucas. With the money he made from this he made, after a brief 3 year holiday to Jamaica, the greatest film trilogy of all time- Star Warp!

Best Scene: When two main characters are having a game of Turkey in their cars, and the bad guy spins out and crashes. The hero, based on George ‘ooh my, R2!’ Lucas, leaps over the front of his car and punches out the bad guy. A blue flash takes over the screen and he is suddenly transported to another place, in the arms of a naked lady who kisses him. Just as he wonders what is going on a burly man bursts into the room with a shotgun- ‘Daddy!?’ she cries. ‘Oh boy!’ replies our hero.

George ‘me  wadda Wanka’ Lucas.

George ‘I Own You All’ Lukas

Tell it like it is!

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