Hilarious Lyrics Translations – July 2015

Little Talks – Of Monsters And Men

For today’s selection I used one of the internet’s finest random song generators – I didn’t bother checking to see what the criteria for selection that the site used was, but after I hit Of Monsters And Men I ran through another few searches which seemed to bring back recent chart hits – the oldest song within the 4 or 5 searches I did was the awful Seven Nation Army. Today’s track I had never heard of, and I had to do a Google to find which was the artist name and which was the song title out of Little Talks and Of Monsters And Men. What I’m going to do is look purely at the lyrics, put them through the Korean translator, look for funnies, then listen to the song.

The Original

Hey! Hey! Hey! I don’t like walking around this old and empty house
So hold my hand, I’ll walk with you, my dear
The stairs creak as you sleep, it’s keeping me awake
It’s the house telling you to close your eyes

And some days I can’t even dress myself. It’s killing me to see you this way
‘Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey! Hey! Hey! There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks. Soon it will be over and buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love.

Some days I don’t know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear
‘Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey! Don’t listen to a word I say
Hey! The screams all sound the same
Hey!

Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
Hey! Hey!

You’re gone, gone, gone away. I watched you disappear
All that’s left is the ghost of you. Now we’re torn, torn, torn apart, There’s nothing we can do
Just let me go we’ll meet again soon. Now wait, wait, wait for me
Please hang around I’ll see you when I fall asleep

Hey! Don’t listen to a word I say
Hey! The screams all sound the same
Hey! Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Don’t listen to a word I say Hey!
The screams all sound the same Hey!

Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

So, nothing particularly insightful or new here. What I found moderately interesting from the lyrics is that they seem to be spoken by two different people, or two separate voices, with all the ‘Hey!’ and the contrasts between You and Me. It doesn’t appear to be about anything – there are feelings of loneliness, fear, loss, hope but it isn’t saying a lot.

The Translation

Hey! Hey! Hey! I do not like walking around the empty old house
So take my hand, I will walk with you my love
The stairs to sleep, it creak to keep me awake
The house is telling you to close your eyes

And some days I could not dress myself. It’s killing me to see how you egeyi
The truth is that this should be different from the vessel to the coast, but our bodies perform safe ’cause

Hey! Hey! Hey! There is a long holding me back a voice in my head
Then I tell her we miss the small talk. It will soon be buried in our past
When we were full of love and full of young life, we used to play outside.

When I was mistaken or is your mind as you play a trick I do not know what the right day, my love.
The truth is that this should be different from the vessel to the coast, but our bodies perform safe ’cause

Hey! I do not listen to a word
Hey! Screams all sound the same
Hey!

You can vary the ship truth is carried to the shore, but our bodies safe
Hey! Hey!

You are gone, and gone away. I’m watching you disappear
All that remains is the ghost of you. Now we have nothing that we can do, split, torn ripped it
Let’s just we’ll meet again soon. Now Wait for me, wait, wait.
When I fall asleep, I get to see you play

Hey! I do not listen to a word
Hey! Screams all sound the same
Hey! You can vary the ship truth is carried to the shore, but our bodies safe

Do not listen to a word I’ll say!
All scream sounds like Hi!

You can vary the ship truth is carried to the shore, but our bodies safe
You can vary the ship truth is carried to the shore, but our bodies safe
You can vary the ship truth is carried to the shore, but our bodies safe

The WTF

The first section of the song is almost exactly the same – it isn’t until we see the ‘word’ ‘egeyi’ that the laughs begin. I may adopt that word in my everyday life when I’m getting dressed or telling the kids to put their clothes on in the mornings – EGEYI!  The two major differences are in the tone of the ‘Heys’ and in the use of the speaker’s voices. The Heys in the original sound as if they are purely there as a hooky gimmick (at this point I still haven’t listened to the song) while in the translation they sound like desperate, attention grabbing shrieks. The speaker even acknowledges this fact towards the end by saying ‘The Screams all sound like Hi’. The voices in the original are unclear enough that we don’t know who, or how many people are speaking, but in the remake the speaker seems to be aware that his mind is divided into clearly defined personalities, and they are all directing their comments to one target person. Or maybe five of the voices are speaking to a sixth internal voice, trying to stop it from fading away. One last note ‘When I fall asleep, I get to see you play’ is pretty creepy stuff, or tragic depending on the reason for saying it.

And now to listen to the song! Jaunty trumpets, fast paced. Energetic. Female vocals, singing exactly like every other female singer in the charts. Bloke singer. Ha, I was right! Bloke vocals are too plain, woman’s vocals are too affected. Why do all the ladies STILL sing in this style, aside from the fact that it can hide a certain weakness in your vocal ability of course? The bloke may as well not be there, as inoffensive and white bread as a stray crumb. It’s certainly bouncy and fun, I imagine it would be catchy after a few listens, but there isn’t any immediate hook or anything particularly strong to grab my attention. I was expecting some terrible tween crap like Fall Out Boy, and while this is fairly standard stuff, it isn’t awful. Just not the sort of stuff a person with ears and who enjoys music would want to listen to more than once.

The Gathering – Eleanor

Now, it should be said that this, one of my favourite tracks by The Gathering doesn’t have the best lyrics, but we’ll forgive them for being all shiny, new, young and not having English as their first language. Some of the words seem like odd choices, and much of the grammar is naturally replaced by the need to fit words to the music. Truth be told, when listening to The Gathering, and Mandylion in particular as Anneke’s first album, you’re so bowled over by the sheer force of her vocals that you likely pay zero attention to what she is actually saying. Even now it’s not clear what the song is about, though there is clearly a lot of anger involved, with Anneke accusing someone else of being empty and self-interested.

The Original

Underneath the mask you’ve buried yourself into, It’s coal-black
I am tired of the gulping that you do. Every day a new face
What if I unscrew Your own identity
Wouldn’t you guess there’s nothing left of you?

The quicksand of life drags us Down into the circle
One day, one day we might not catch you

I feel sorry for what you try to do
Breaking others down. to try and to pursue Your own selfish interests
I am starting to get sick of you

Whatever happened ever since you left?
You make yourself and me look like fools

Whatever happened ever since you left?

The Translation

You buried himself under the mask this, it is a coal black
I’m tired of what you drink. Every day new faces
If I release you of your identity
Would not you think of anything you left?

Tomb of life is dragging us down in a circle
One day, one day, we may not catch you

Naegayi pity you try Destroy others. Trying to pursue their own selfish interests
I am starting to get sick of you

Did you ever do anything you left? You look like a fool himself and me

Did you ever do anything you left?

The WTF

You know, “”i’m tired of what you drink’ is a pretty apt, and hilarious translation of ‘gulping’. The song seems to be a cautionary tale of alcohol addiction, with ‘Every day new faces’ implying that the social circle may be growing thanks to the constant drinking, but that no-one stays around for long, and it’s having a detrimental effect on the one relationship that matters. ‘Tomb of life’ sounds like a Doom Metal, or even Emo band, but I’ve no idea what ‘Naegayi pity’ involves. The speaker is clearly speaking to herself in the last lines ‘you look like a fool -himself and me’ leaving the ‘Did you ever do anything you left’ a bewildering question for both the speaker and the subject.

How would you interpret the songs above – either the original or the translation? Let us know in the comments!

July 30, 2015 at 12:19 pm Leave a comment

Best Make-up: 1964

Finally, in 1964, an award was presented for the first time in the field of make-up. It may have only been an honorary award, but it was a step in the right direction although it would take a depressing 17 years before the category became official. William J Tuttle had been responsible wholly or in part for the make up in films from the 1930s to the 1970s- if you haven’t heard his name then I’m sure you’re familiar with his work- The Wizard Of Oz, The Red Badge Of Courage, Singin’ In The Rain, The Prisoner Of Zenda, 7 Brides For 7 Brothers, Forbidden Planet, North By Northwest, The Time Machine, The Twilight Zone, Young Frankenstein to name a very few. His award for 7 Faces of Dr. Lao is justified and deserved in itself, but gives thanks to one of the greatest undervalued careers in Hollywood.

My Nominations: 7 Faces Of Dr. Lao. The Fall Of The Roman Empire. Goldfinger. The Flesh Eaters. Onibaba. Zulu. The Masque Of The Red Death.

A mix of horror, action, and epics make up my picks this year. Zulu and The Fall Of The Roman Empire are obvious choices given the scale and dedication involved, while Goldfinger continues the trend of strong work for Bond films. Onibaba is made all the more flesh-crawling due to the subtle make-up- it’s so subtle I don’t even know who the make-up artist was. The Masque Of The Red Death and The Flesh Eaters go for a more visceral approach and while both relatively low budget, they show a supreme mastery of the craft and ability to make the craft a vital part of the production. My Winner though has to be 7 Faces Of Dr. Lao as it is genuinely revolutionary. There are techniques and sights on display here that were new, and others brought to the tip of their power, but it is the diversity and invention which overshadows the other nominees and shows a great man going wild with his art.

My Winner: 7 Faces Of Dr. Lao.

July 29, 2015 at 3:53 pm Leave a comment

Manic Mondays – 27th July 2015

‘He stood like a statue/as he was beaten across the face/with a horse whip/where the wounds already exist’

Marlon J.D

July 27, 2015 at 3:41 pm Leave a comment

Walk Of Fame Inductees: 24th July 2015

1880s: Tod Browning: For contributions to Cinema. Remembered by most for his early horror movies, Browning’s career covered a variety of genres over Silent movies and talkies, and he was able to recover twice from setbacks and tragedies which would have burrowed a lesser director. His early work as a circus entertainer influenced his later career, but he is most widely known for works such as Freaks, Dracula, and London After Midnight.

Tod Browning circa 1930s

1890s: Oliver Hardy: For contributions to Cinema. One half of one of the most famous comedy duos of all time, portly Oliver Hardy appeared in countless movies, rapidly becoming one of the most sought after and recognizable stars in the early decades of Hollywood. He is remembered for works such as Babes In Toyland, The Flying Deuces, and Fluttering Hearts.

Oliver Hardy

1900s: Helen Hayes: For contributions to Cinema, TV, Theatre, and Music. One of the few people in history to win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award, Hayes worked for almost 80 years earning respect wherever she went and remaining generous to multiple charities throughout her life. She is remembered for works such as The Sin Of Madelon Claudet, Airport, and The Snoop Sisters.

helen_hayes

1910s: Betty Grable: For contributions to Cinema. One of the earliest and most successful pinups, Grable was more than just a million dollar pair of legs, appearing in many hits such as Tin Pan Alley, How To Marry A Millionaire, and Springtime In The Rockies. 

betty-grable

1920s: Angela Lansbury: For contributions to Cinema, Theatre, and Television. Lansbury will be known to readers of a certain age for a certain long-running TV show, but those with an eagle-eye will remember her for many award-winning and nominated performances in works such as Murder, She Wrote, The Manchurian Candidate, Beauty And The Beast, and The Company Of Wolves.

1930s: Louis Malle: For contributions to Cinema. Known almost as much for his Academy Award winning documentaries as for his Academy Award nominated films, Malle was one of a small group who popularized French cinema throughout the world and went on to have a successful career in the US, with works such as Le Monde Du Silence, Lacombe Lucien, and Au Revoir Les Enfants.

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1940s: Penelope Spheeris: For contributions to Cinema and Television. One of the only women in Hollywood to successfully move between TV, Documentary making, and film, Speeris roots her works in comedy, music, and people, and is known for The Decline Of Western Civilization, Wayne’s World, and Saturday Night Live.

download

1950s: Sogo Ishii: For contributions to Cinema. One of the original punk directors, and one of the first to tackle rebellious youth in Japan with authenticity, his hyperkinetic style extremely influential with later Japanese directors, Ishii is known for works such as Is Anyone Alive, Panic In High School, and Burst City. 

sogo-ishii

1960s: Bryan Singer: For Contributions to Cinema and Television. Known for making the thinking man’s blockbuster, Singer deftly weaves between the drama and thriller genres and big budget comic adaptations, bringing action tension to his ‘smaller’ films and thought-provoking commentary to his ‘bigger’ ones, in works such as The Usual Suspects, Apt Pupil, and The X-Men Series.

bryan_singer_63487

1970s: Tori Spelling: For contributions to Television and Cinema. Although primarily known for her Television work, Spelling has had a number of well received film projects. Daughter of one of the most famous TV Producers of all time, Spelling has worked on Beverly Hills 90210, Trick, and Jake And The Never Land Pirates.

tori-spelling-gay-hoarders

1980s: Katee Sackhoff: For contributions to Cinema and Television. Since the late 90s, Sackhoff has appeared on some of the most well-received Television shows of her generation, as well as appearing in a number of movies and videogames, such as Battlestar Galactica, Oculus, and Longmire.

Headshot

1990s: Dakota Fanning: For contributions to Cinema and Television. Named by many as the pre-eminent child actor of her generation, Fanning has had a career that people in the business for many decades would be proud of, appearing in works such as War Of The Worlds, The Twilight Saga, and Coraline.

download (1)  In addition to the stars and statues erected in honour of the people above, the following attractions have also been created for your entertainment:

The X-Men Museum: In honour of Bryan Singer’s induction, this Museum is entirely dedicated to X-Men, featuring the opportunity to feel what it’s like to take on your favourite X-Men power.

The Battlestar Galactica Museum: In honour of Sackhoff’s induction, this museum cover both the original series and the remake, featuring sets from both series and the opportunity to engage in your own epic space battle.

Let us know which attractions based around the works of the people above you would like to see created in the comments section below!

July 27, 2015 at 8:31 am Leave a comment

Best Costume Design: 1964

Actual Nominations: As with Cinematography the category was split into BW and color and featured a cross-section of epics and musicals, featuring many of the same films as were nominated for Cinematography. The official winner for BW was Night Of The Iguana but there really isn’t a lot to pick between this and the other nominees- Hush Hush, A House Is Not A Home, Kisses For My President, The Visit. Again the colour nominations are more interesting, with Harry Stradling picking up the win for My Fair Lady. Completing the nominations are Becket, Mary Poppins, Molly Brown, and What A Way To Go. Edith Head’s designs were nominated in both colour and BW, but she did not pick up a win this year.

My Winner: BW: Night Of The Iguana. Colour: Mary Poppins. Few films of the decade had such vibrancy in all areas as Mary Poppins, so it gets my vote over My Fair Lady.

My Nominations: My Fair Lady. Mary Poppins. Band Of Outsiders. A Fistful Of Dollars. The Fall Of The Roman Empire. Zulu.

I’ve added 4 films to the 2 carried over from the official nominations, and only 1 of the 6 is BW. Band Of Outsiders has that timeless cool French Chic thanks largely to Christiane Fageol’s work which is in stark contrast to my other picks. A Fistful Of Dollars is as you would expect, all dirty, beaten ponchos, but it was films like this which started the endearing look and people like Carlo Simi and Maria Casado who perfected it. My final picks are historical epics, a genre which relies heavily on Costume Design to convey authenticity and tone. It may seem easy to pick a popular outfit of the time and put actors in it, but it takes an unprecedented amount of time, detail, and dedication to get everything just right. Arthur Newman may not have had a large career in Wardrobe, but each feature he worked on has that memorable touch. In Zulu he oversees the costumes of our band of under siege soldiers but also the tribal garments of the marauding warriors. However, my win goes to the joint venture between Veniero Colasanti and John Moore (who also provided the Set Design) whose experience of working together on other hits such as El Cid pays off for the lost epic The Fall Of The Roman Empire. Their designs range from outfits for soldiers of all levels to pure tunics for senators to luxurious dresses for Sophia Loren.

My Winner: The Fall Of The Roman Empire. 

Let us know your picks for the best Costume Design of 1964!

July 22, 2015 at 9:29 am Leave a comment

Top Ten Tuesdays – Top 10 John Carpenter Movies

In this new series of posts I’m going to list ten of my favourite films by some of my most loved directors and actors. While I may not have seen everything that they have done, I’ll catch up to them eventually. For some of the posts, I’ll be adding films I’m not as keen on to ensure a list of ten so be on the look out for your favourites. The ordering of most of these posts will not be strict and in most cases there will not be too much difference between my number 1 pick and my number 5 pick.

John Carpenter is my favourite director. A master of many a genre, he’s the director who’s films appear most regularly in my favourite films of all time, and while it’s clear to most movie fans that his best work was in the 70s and 80s, he has enjoyed a career spanning six decades. Incredibly influential, you only have to look at the number of remakes of his franchises which have been plaguing our screens for years, yet failing spectacularly to recapture the quality of his original vision.

10. Starman.

images

Carpenter’s only full blown love story (sorry, Christine fans) is a well-acted heartwarming story about an alien coming to earth in the guise of a widow’s dead husband, while devious military and government types try to claim him for their own. As with most Carpenter films, this has an excellent score and main theme (although not written by Carpenter himself). Criminally, this is the only Carpenter film to receive an Oscar nomination – Jeff Bridges for best Actor.

9. The Ward. 

images (1)

I’m a fairly vocal defender of the more recent Carpenter films – this and Ghosts Of Mars had their issues, but they are still wildly entertaining movies, with The Ward offering a bit more in terms of plot. While in many ways this doesn’t feel like a Carpenter film it is chock full of jump-scares and good performances. It’s taut, crafted and executed strongly, and while the twist is hardly surprising, it is great nevertheless to see the great man on the director’s chair again.

8.  In The Mouth Of Madness. 

in-the-mouth-of-madness-2

Like many of Carpenter’s films, this was overlooked by fans at critics at the time, and even now it isn’t well-known – we’re still waiting for a Region 2 DVD or Blu Ray release. It is a cult favourite though, and remains one of the finest, most accurate film depictions of Lovecraftian horror. It’s one of Carpenter’s most thickly layered films and each viewing uncovers new themes.

7. Escape From New York. 

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If Snake Plissken isn’t the single most cool character in movie history then I’ve clearly been watching the wrong movies. When this is eventually remade, you just know it;s going to be a shambles – no-one else but Russell and Carpenter could take a story like this, filled with characters like Plissken and not only make it work, but make it one of the quintessential action movies of the decade. With stellar action and effects, a blending of genres, an apocalyptic wit, and once again a superb score, this is Carpenter to the core.

6. The Fog

t6518 (1)

Unfairly seen as Halloween’s vastly inferior little brother, this should more accurately be described as Halloween as told to you by your creepy, drunk uncle. It’s the perfect campfire ghost story, with murderous vengeful pirates laying siege to a picturesque coastal town on the anniversary of their tragedy. Although the ending may be a cop-out, everything before hand is remarkably atmospheric, spooky, and the perfect movie for a dark evening alone.

5. Prince Of Darkness

pod1

I’d class this as Carpenter’s most underrated film, one with more scares than any of his other films, and arguably his most difficult film to describe or explain. Ostensibly, like most Carpenter movies it’s a siege movie, with a bunch of characters trapped with some powerful external force picking them off one by one. To make things more interesting, not only is there a horde of baddies outside the building which our heroes are trapped in, but the main evil is coming from within that very same building, and our heroes may have unleashed it. Throw in some time-travelling, parallel universe, God versus Satan, zombie, Alice Cooper mumbo jumbo, and we have a dense, terrifying film well worth watching.

4. Big Trouble In Little China

images (2)

For a kid growing up in the 80s, this was the most awesome movie ever. It had over the top action and violence, guns, martial arts, Gods, monsters, mystery, comedy, and yet none of it was too graphic or scary so it was suitable to watch with our parents. Filled with epic one-liners and moments, this genre-bender is as timeless as it is 80s, and is a film you can’t imagine being made today.

3. Halloween

file_176995_0_Halloween_1

The biggie, and the one that started it all, kicking off Carpenter’s career in earnest and launching one of the most revered horror franchises. As the name suggests, there is no better film for Halloween, not only is it set during the period, depicting a suburbia which many of us will be familiar with, it pits a group of shell-shocked kids against a seemingly unstoppable killer. It churns out scare after scare like a fairground attraction, making you jump and squeal in equal measure, but more than that it features excellent direction and some wonderful performances. And again, there’s an exquisite score.

2. Assault On Precinct 13

I think I first saw this when I was around 14, and even though I knew who John Carpenter was, this was around the time I was beginning to understand what being a director was, and that this guy just happened to have made all these other films I treasured. It’s the perfect ‘modern’ siege movie with a well-worn approach which hasn’t been bettered since. The stark low-budget feel gives an earnest, off-putting realism, and when coupled with the cast of unknowns and the largely faceless enemy there is a sense of this thing being all too possible. As with later Carpenter movies we get an awesome anti-hero, a strong leading lady, and a mashup of other multi-dimensional characters from opposing backgrounds thrown together in a fight for survival. There is also a brilliant sense of hopelessness as the sun begins to go down on this desolate, soon to be rubble part of town. With strong, straight-forward action, gripping tension, and one of the greatest shock moments in cinema history, this is an undoubted classic. And guess what – epic score.

1. The Thing.  

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Well, it couldn’t really be anything else, could it (sorry, They Live fans). Carpenter’s remake is more of a complete overhaul, and remains one of the finest horror films ever made. Most of you reading this should know it, and for anyone who hasn’t especially you young cubs, go watch it now. Some of the most jaw-dropping special effects, wiping the floor with today’s CGI, alongside a stellar all-male cast leads to paranoia, gore, fear, and a timeless ending. It’s a flawless movie in all departments, yet failed miserably at the box office. All the remake/prequel was a fine standalone film, it isn’t a patch on this beast, a film as vital now as it was upon release.

There we go, folks. Let us know in the comments what your favourite John Carpenter films are, and what you think of my selections above!

July 21, 2015 at 3:43 pm 2 comments

Manic Mondays – 20th July 2015

‘When did life get so, get so complicated/When did time start, start accelerating’

Glasnost

July 20, 2015 at 10:40 am Leave a comment

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